JFF What Words Do You Use in a Fight.

I use really bad ones! All of them!!

What I would not give to fight with my husband again!! I still cuss at him. He's been gone 6mths and I cuss him for being gone! (he passed away in sept) We both cussed at each other in a fight. We knew we loved each other more than anything but that was how we communicated. Cussing....big sigh....he always told his friends....don't piss off D.....she will mother f*6k you like you have never heard before! LOL!!
I love big and I fight big It's just me!
I have a bad mouth. I know it, my kids know it, my boss knows it.
I will yell and cuss and then when I calm down I will have a rational conversation with you. That's it.
Doesn't mean I am a bad person. I have tried to be better at it over the years. I think I am. But don't piss me off!! Just kidding!

Don't take relationship advice from me!!

Blessings!
D.

Nevermind

(Not proud of it either, sigh)

:(

I pull out spreadsheets and charts. We also don't fight. :)

"whatever"

Yes, I am ashamed.

we rarely fight. we have discussions, but it's rare that we "fight".

When he is being an a$$ - I just say "whatever" and walk away. Or I tell him - we'll talk when you're not being an a$$.

Uh I'm like Denise F....I too have worked on my behavior...it's not an easy habit to break.

But he says one of the following and I walks away from by lunacy!

1. You're acting like her (meaning my mother)
2. When you are done being ridiculous we can talk about this and walks up the stairs. (which before kids would send me into a complete rage)...now I just let him and move on.
3. Are you done yet?

My bad stuff is more nonverbal.

I use a semi-mocking sarcastic tone and eye rolls. not proud of that.
I shake my head alot. I don't even know I'm doing it until he points it out.
I use 'whatever' to mean - no, that's not correct.
I am a big fan of slamming and locking the bedroom door.

I use: Let's agree to disagree.
"Don't go there!"
"Done!"
And my favorite avoidant tactic: "I am not talking about this now!"

Real productive, eh?

My hubby and I don't fight. We have disagreements, but not fights and we never say hurtful things to each other.

Most small arguements I say: "Oh Nothing" or "Fine"
Wen I get really heated I mock in a sarcastic tone, or am very sarcastic. If he keeps pokeN I turn ugly and rude and point flaws :-\
So not proud of the last ones wen he insist and poke's.
But my sarcasm is 24/7 :-) Everyone who knows me, knows. Lol!

Years ago my mother told me the way to a man's heart is through his stomach (explaining why I need to know how to cook). Well, my first marriage didn't last long and we yelled and screamed at each other about every day. My second husband I remembered this advice and didn't want to go through a stressful marriage like the first. I realized that if the best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, so is the best way of punishment. In the last 30 years, when my husband would do something I didn't like or would make me mad I would fix things he didn't like for supper! He didn't like roast beef so I could make a roast and it would last for a week of meals! It got to the point when I would be making a roast the kids would come in and ask "what did dad do now?"

my sons (age 15 & 24) have told me repeatedly not to fight with their Dad....it's not fair- he just can't think/mouth as fast as I can. They consider it a serious crime to beat someone sooooo verbally. & they hate that their dad can't keep up with my mouth. :)

that said, my mouth can be atrocious. I think it would be easier to say... what doesn't come out of my mouth when I'm on the rampage!

C.-
Way to tame your flame first of all!!!
Just letting you know this so you can think about it.
One of my best friends is currently divorced. One of the biggest reasons he said he divorced was poor communication between he and his wife.
Expanding on that- he says he'd initiate a discussion to settle their issues and her response ended in 'FINE' when he knew all too well it wasn't.
Of course there were many reasons their relationship did not succeed, however this one act wore on him over the course of their marriage.
It might be a good idea when it's a good time of fun with you two to ask your boyfriend just curiously how he feels when you use that word.??? Just an idea. Maybe actually saying I'm done arguing for now, lets revisit this at such and such a time when I'm more calm.??

Great for you to have changed some of your volatile ways. Don't hold onto things you never let go-- life is way to short. The past is past- settle the issues and move forward.

To your success!!

B. J
about me: 51 yo perfusionist and wellness coach, mom with 10 yo fraternal twin daughters

I try to remain calm and reasonable but once he keeps poking me and then turns on me like a pit viper, all bets are off. I can't stand being disrespected and tied up in knots like I am a liar. At that point I have said anything and everything in extremely colorful language and at full volume. My only absolute no is throwing rocks. In other words what was said or done in the past is not rehashed by me. That's oddly too dirty even for my temper level. I have noticed we argue less because we recognize it causes too much damage to the fabric of our relationship. I figure if we keep working at it and working through it, we'll reach the discussions phase. I just wish he wouldn't allow himself to fight so dirty because the things that fall out of his mouth are staggeringly vicious sometimes. It's a good thing I love him and we are united on a level I can't explain.