Little Long-new Mom So Stressed

I'm sorry! It will get better. You are a strong mother taking care of your children. Both in your love for them AND financially. Even though, it is so hard on you. I know....I work FT too.
Soon your 5 month old will start walking and talking and I promise you, no matter how much time she spends with others she will run into your arms and hug you, smiling, "Mama!" And, probably at some point by the age of 2 she will love playing with other littles at daycare.
Don't pressure yourself regarding the spark in your marriage. Don't worry about it. Marriage isn't going to be roses and romance at every stage of life...and that is not something to blame yourself for.
I am sending you strength!

My two are very close together also and I know how you feel. And it was tough the first couple of years - not bc of sharing the love though. That part works out just fine. I work full time too btw. But 2 so young is just hard!! I will say though to just keep telling yourself you'll get through it, it'll get easier and it'll be worth it. We LOVE having our kids so close in age now as they're permanent playmates. So now it's all easier than I think it might be if they were far apart in age. We were fortunate to be able to afford a lot of nanny care but we didn't have any family around whatsoever. So perhaps figure on daycare for both but with your mom supplementing. I've also always worked full time and it'll be ok. I spend every nonworking minute practically with my girls so they get lots of attention. Yours will too. And they won't remember any of this! Just find a good daycare. Also, this may be hard on your marriage but just keep going. It'll get better.

It's gonna be OK mom! I understand your "regret" about new pregnancy, but you have to take a deep breath and accept it once you've mourned a bit. You're right, people HAVE done this since the beginning of time. New children ADD to your life, not subtract from it. You will not meet ANYONE (sane and loving) who regrets their second child if you start asking around. I've got three. No family near by. A husband who is never home. I am very blessed in that I do not work, and I thank my stars for that every day, but it has it's own struggles, especially financially. If I did have to work (which I will have to soon) I would simply put ALL the kids in daycare sometimes instead of one. And the phase will pass. The next 3 years will speed by. By the time your baby is born, you'll only have slightly more than 2 years left! You will get stronger, and baby number two is going to bring you and your daughter lots of joy in the coming years. You will look back at his time as only a memory. Your struggles will be rewarded, and the fact that you love your children so much and take your parenting seriously. Try to live in the moment, focus on your work at work, and your child at home. You chose the job, you are good at it. You did not prevent the pregnancy, and you're a great and passionate mom. Accept these things, embrace them, tackle them. It's going to be OK, mom! You can do it! And don't pre-worry about the spark going out. One thing at a time. If you lose the spark for a time, you can get it back. You may not lose it. If you do it's OK. Take that off your plate for now. Take one day at a time! You'll accomplish just as much as if you pile the whole world on your plate in your mind!

I got prego with #2 when my baby was 5 months old... it was crazy and not planned at all. I do get to say home and I was still stressed out.
You are valid to be sad about your baby now, missing out on your time when the new one comes. That has been my biggest regret of it all- I missed her time in all those special moments. My memories kinda melt together and I can't remember who did what and what kid hit what milestone when. I just can't remember. They are now 2 and 3 and I feel like I just came out of the fog.
It will be hard for sure, but I will say it gets easier! Now at this stage they play so well together and have a built in friend! As hard as it was, I am glad it happened the way it did!
As for hubby and me- that is hard. The spark does go, because you are so tired and have to think about now TWO little ones. But with work you can get through it. We are finding our place with each other again... but it did take a few years. I think that was more my fault- like I said I was in a fog for some time.....
Good luck and know you aren't alone.... I just hope baby #2 is a good one for you!!

Aw! I just want to hug you right now! You have a ton on your plate! It'll all work out in the end.

It WILL be ok. My first was 9 mos when I found about about #2. The feelings of not being available for your first and/or how you could possibly love another like that are NORMAL. You will. Take it one day at a time. Try to enjoy your pregnancy. Talk to your husband about how you are feeling and include him - go through this together. Hang in there, you can do this - and do it well : )

Have you tried base daycare? This would give you the opportunity to see your little one at lunch and relive some stress from your mom-even if it is only part time. I feel your pain and I can tell you it gets better. I schedule alone time with my husband when the kids are in bed, EVERYTHING in my life is about routine and EVERYTHING has to be put back in its place (ie dirty clothes in hamper, kids toys put away before bed) or I would go insane. Meals are planned, I use the crock pot a lot so dinner is ready by the time I get home. I was activated for a year and therefore I now commute 45 min to base. You can do it! It can and will be overwhelming at times (I had a meltdown this morning) but my kids are now 2 & 3 and it is getting easier. Good Luck and know you are not alone