Marriage - Spouse Seems Infatuated with Another Woman

Welp, just from what you've said, I would have to call this marriage rocky at best. Nobody seeks out divorce twice in a year and is in a happy healthy relationship. If the love is lost and at this point you're only staying in it for the kids then end it. Or therapy. But it doesn't sound like you're all tore up to call it quits either.anyhow, you'll ultimately be doing the kids a favor cuz at least then they're not living with tension. Even if u try to hide tension from them, they feel it and know it.

Now, to protect the kids? Is he abusive? If so then get legal advice. If you're just refering to his possible cheating ways im not sure u can do much about that. His kids too... :/

I wish you and your family peace in this time of turmoil. Good luck in the days ahead.

I have to consult with my dream team on this one-in the meantime-why don't you talk to her and tell her you're trying to keep your family together and protect your innocent little girls-

I do not know how old your girls are, but I believe if done right children can and do fine with divorce. With that said, you need to run. I am sorry but you need to know if not this girl their will be another. You do not deserve this. You deserve to be happy, and your girls will be happier seeing you happy rather staying and being miserable. Kids can sense everything. Would you want this for your girls. Leave him. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and you love. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him. As long as you love your girls they will be fine. Good luck

Now what? Get planning the right way. Do not impulsively jump out, jump into anything, take your time and figure out ways you will support yourself and your children financially. He sounds like he emotionally checked out of the marriage and it sounds like you are too. But you have to take care of yourself. I wouldn't even discuss it with him anymore. If you do not trust him and someone from Tilted Kilt or whatever it's called is texting him personally, then move into action. Many women have fallen for the old 'recruiter' trick, or the sales person or whomever because we really don't want to believe it is happening. Despite thinking about leaving we want it in our control. so take your time and think this out. And call the phone company and change his number. Or perhaps it could be missing one day...

Just curious...why did you ask for your balance back from your lawyer? Situation aside, does part of you still love the man you married? Are you really ready to leave? Could it be a defense mechanism to avoid dealing with the pain of being deceived and feeling unwanted?

It's a tough situation but ask yourself the tough questions and be prepared to deal with the decisions you make based on your answers. Divorce is tough. Though many parents can go through it peacefully, it still hurts, even for the kids (yes, I've been one of those kids). However, being lied to and deceived by your spouse is not acceptable behavior either. It is time to sit down and have a real heart to heart talk with him. You made a vow to each other, for better or worst and that deserves at least one good conversation before you both decide to call it quits. I would suggest starting out by writing out your feelings in a letter first. Try not to be accusatory. Avoid using phrases like, "You always," or "You never." That only makes the other person feel defenive. You can use words like, "It hurts me when you go to a place to seek attention from another woman. I'm at a loss for how we got here. Where did we go wrong? In what ways have I failed you? How have I hurt you that has made you feel how you do now? What could we have done differently to not be where we are now? I loved you so much and I am feeling so hurt right now. I want us to have resolution one way or another....." Taking the approach of telling him how you feel and asking him what your role was in the situation will bring down his defenses and hopefully get him to open up to what he feels. Hopefully he too will accept responsibility for his part in the situation.

I think if more people took the time to really try and at least talk about their deepest, darkest feelings and face them head on, no matter how difficult, there might just be a few more couples still married. Marriages have survived worst situations.

Good luck and God bless.

it sounds like hes not in yor marriage at all. He was upset that you got your money back from te divorce attorney and also said he will not stop going there even though it hurts you? It seems hes done. I'd get things in order without talkig first. As in figure out the logisitcs of what would happen if you divorced and how and where you'd live. You may have done this with the prior divrce filing..if so I'd have a heart to heart with him and really discuss what you both want for yourselves and your girls. They deserve to see a loving marriage and a husband who is faithful to his wife so they know what to expect right?

text her back and say "call me". when she calls let her know you are his wife and would like her to leave your husband and father of your children alone.

Yes, he's cheating on you. Its probably 10x worse than what you have "found" so far. So now you need to figure out what you want to do and take the steps you need to do it. If you decide to divorce, it will not be easy, especially for your kids. And you will have NO control over what happens while he has the kids during his parenting time. So make sure you do everything possible to save this marriage and if it doesn't work, then at least you will know you tried everything. Lots of us have been thru it and have turned out having a better life, for us and the kids. Good luck.

You need therapy, together & alone.
Talk to the pastor at your church, you need some trusted help, sage advice.
Never been there? ask anyways, you can use it.

Not strangers, not girlfriends some real serious help for you and your marriage.
My thoughts are with you.

Seems?

He isn't a good husband, but how is he as a father? If he's a good dad, your girls will not need to be "protected". If he's a perv, that's another story and if it can be proved, you can asked for custody with only supervised visits. However, make sure you do not punish him or your kids because he hurt you.

Blessings....

Sorry to say, but kind of sounds like things are already over. You should look into ending it and go talk to the lawyer again. Of course you do what you feel in your heart, but if it were me I would end it. It's no good if the trust isn't there and you'll always be wondering where he is or what he's doing and that's not worth the stress.

Good luck! Take care.