Mom Leaves SAFE House During Hurricane and Boys Die

I don't feel it's my responsibility to second-guess parents involved in horrible/emergent situations who then lose their children in tragic accidents.

Lay off the blame game. (My 5yo needs to learn this lesson, too.)

My thoughts are this- It was a horrible tragedy. No one knows *why* the mom did what she did, and no one knows why the man didn't let them in his house.

Why do we have to know? Why do we have to have an answer when we don't even know the individuals in question? They are all grieving and now the whole nation is casting blame. Tragedy on top of tragedy. What a horrible thing to live through! My heart breaks for those involved.

Well at least I know which Mamapedia members to ask for help during an emergency. The comments of the last 24 hours concerning recent tragedies have really opened my eyes to how people think.

Call M. crazy but anyone who says they would not open the door for a women in need during a deadly hurricane is not someone I want to associate with. Frankly I can't believe some of these answers. I gotta get off this site, I'm losing faith in humankind.

Why are there so many posts/opinions about who is to blame in these tragic situations? I have read NOT ONE single news story that says the woman who lost her son at the zoo is "blaming the zoo". And do you know for a fact that the woman who lost her sons in the hurricane is "blaming the man" who supposedly didn't let her in?? Or... is it the media/blogs spinning it that way?

Why can't these things be chalked up to tragic accidents? These parents lost their children. That is incredibly sad. Why does someone's head have to be in a noose because of it?

I guess I'm cold and heartless. As unless I know the person coming to MY HOUSE and they are expected I WILL NOT OPEN THE DOOR. Not in a natural disaster, not on a regular sunny day. I am not going to put myself in harms way and especially not my children.

if that makes M. cold and heartless...well so be it.

I have not read up on this story, I don't know the specifics...but I'm so tired of hearing about how stupid people are for making bad decisions. If I open that door and some crazy person comes in and hurts my family...I will be the stupid idiot who opened the door.

These are a no win situation. He did what he wanted...HIS HOUSE...don't have to answer the door, the phone or anything inside your own home!

ETA: Manda I get what you are saying but I feel I don't have to have a reason to not open my...but my reason(s) are 7 & 4.

I've been caught out in one tornado (as a child, we took cover in a ditch) and last Spring one touched down less than a mile from where we were driving. Never once crossed my mind that I would expect someone to open their door to us.

I don't know much about the NY story-I onlyheard the version where the guy wouldn't let her in and the kids then died. However it is not surprising that CNN would spin a story to their satisfaction :-) I bet you any $$ that tomorrow we are going to see a TON come out about the devastation that some New Yorkers are living in-on the scale of Katrina if not worse. These stories have been hushed to protect Obama.

I do think that the Pittsburgh Zoo is grossly negligent in the way that they keep their African Dogs. I have been to that exhibit many times and you would never guess that these are one of the most dangerous animals in the world. There is much better protection around the elephants and giraffes for goodness sakes. I was reading in our paper this morning that preactically every other zoo that has these dogs keeps them behind glass or HIGH fences. This is not to say that the mother did not make a huge misjudgment but she shouldn't have even had the opportunity TO make that mistake. I try not to judge her because there have been many time where my children could have been hurt by the result of my carelessness but for the grace of God they were not. If we are being honest with ourselves I think that everyone here can say that.

Honestly, I have little interest in breaking down guilt in a situation such as this, so I agree with the other moms who have posted such.

And I'd J. like to add: Mallory? What are you talking about CNN trying to hush the devastation to Obama's advantage? Are you serious?? No one is hushing the tragedy or degree of this storm's devastation. Are you so politically-partisan that you would make such a claim? I guess so. And yet, you probably are for getting rid of FEMA, as well. The president and governors warned people it was going to be horrible, it was, and the president has accepted every request for help almost immediately. Sorry, but acts of God and nature are J. that. And not the fault of our politicians. Their response is what is important and by all measures, the President has met all reasonable expectations, if we are to believe the Governors of those states affected.

The man didn't give birth to those children. He was not their parent. He was not the one raising them. He was not responsible for them. The mother was, and they are dead. I'm not going to spin it in any way. His responsibility in the immediate situation of the hurricane, was his family, not hers. I would have thought someone was trying to break in and loot, also. I wouldn't have opened the door, either. Not because I'm a cold, heartless evil woman. Because, I would be protecting those I'm entrusted with.

Why are we incapable of J. saying, "the mom made a stupid decision, and her children are dead." SHE was to care for them, and they are dead. The fault begins and ends with her.

Reports I've seen state water was flooding the house. Therefore, the house wasn't safe.

1. Why does her name matter?
2. Where was her husband?
3. Why all this focus on the ethnic backgrounds of the family?
3. The focus on her "darker skin" is quite interesting. I'm trying to figure out how husky this lady's voice had to be for someone to assume she is a man since she was supposedly too dark to see. After all she was screaming for help according to the stories posted.

All I know is two babies died in scary dark water and my heart aches for those babies (yes, 4 is still a "baby" to M.). As far as the zoo situation that baby died in a traumatic way and my heart aches for that baby too.

Okay, again, what does it being pitch black have to do with the sound of her voice? Even if you cannot see someone you may be able to distinguish between a male voice and a female voice calling out for help, even if it is windy. If skin color is irrelevant why mention skin color unless that is one's focus?

Give the woman a break! It was a horrible situation that she's probably never experienced before and she didn't know what to do. Mother Nature is responsible.

We are such a punitive society. We are not happy unless we find someone to blame. I hate it! Sometimes things J. happen; life is strange and we J. sometimes have to accept and move on without placing blame. That poor woman will second-guess her decisions on that day for the rest of her life.

I can say I have stupidly ventured out in a winter storm to go to work even when it wasn't expected. I can honestly say I would never consider taking my children into the mess. If my only option was to take the kids to my dad's house, I would call into work.

I think she hoped she could quickly get to work and probably wasn't thinking clearly. Still in no way was that man at fault.

Who was in charge of the care and well being of these children at the time? Their mom. period.

Bottom line, both incidents were accidents due to devastating mistakes in judgment. These moms are human, and humans make mistakes. They will live with the guilt and nightmares from this for the rest of their lives. I don't think anyone has the right to judge them. I do feel for them to heal, they have to accept the truth of being human and making a mistake in judgment. The truth will set them free.

Always question your sources.

Did you read the ENTIRE item you linked to? It's ONE person stringing together a few things and then coming up with "this is the likely route she took" and a lot of other personal "interpretations." The blogger also feels obliged to mention her race, her husband's race....And the comments below it are full of racist bile. Sure, they have every right to rant however they like. And you have a right to link to it here. But please note that it's one person's personal blog, not a credible news source.

I don't know what happened or why she was on the road. Do you? Does that blogger? Does anyone, even Glenda Moore herself, really know what made her leave home? Why does this blogger feel obliged to speculate about it when it won't undo the tragedy?

We've all gotten so safe in our modern world.. We often forget how dangerous nature is. Whether it be a hurricane, gravity, or wild animals.
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Also, whatever happened to helping out your neighbors????

Here's my thoughts:

How would someone necessarily know that their house is safe? If the authorities are calling for people to leave, does someone absolutely know for a fact whether they are part of that group or not? Do they know if the person talking about leaving is right? (Remember the security guard in the 2nd Tower on 9-11 who told everyone to stay in the building after the first tower got hit? Big mistake to listen to THAT guy...) Point is, she may not have known what to do.

Second, how did she know whether or not she was driving into the hurricane? I don't think that I would know. The person writing the story has that knowledge from 20/20 hindsight. (Like most people making judgments...)

You cannot believe the amount of people who drive into too much water during flash floods. They don't know any better or they don't judge the depth of the water right. And if you're panicing and scared, you have absolutely no idea that you would make the right decision. ANYONE who says they wouldn't is J. saying it because they have no idea what they would really do, faced with the circumstance.

The mother is beside herself with grief, remorse, facing terrible comments from a public that is happy to judge her while they sit in the comfort of their own homes. She is going to blame the guy for not helping because she J. lost her two kids. She is in the mindset that no one else is because their kids aren't the ones who are dead. Reminds M. of some of the families of those whose bond traders who died in NYC when the towers fell, who asked the ones who lived why they got to live and their family members died. Grief makes some people say things that don't make sense or are not fair.

As for the woman who tried to let her child see the exhibit better, she made a mistake. I am sure that the zoo will make changes so that someone else's mistake won't end up being a tragedy. What OneandDone said about the story in the papers there in Pittsburgh makes a lot more sense to M. than some of the stuff others were extrapolating in their internet remarks.

Dawn

My friend told M. about this. If it happened the way you stated then I have to wonder why she did leave.
Is she broke? Meaning, does she not have a lot of money and thought "Well, this hurricane isn't going to be *too* bad and I need to get to work"
I don't know.
I don't think he is responsible for her bad decision, but he is responsible for his. Here was a human being at his front doorstep, probably hysterical and crying, and he shut the door. Are you telling M. that when she was talking she sounded like a man? When she was begging for help he couldn't help?
I don't know.
I bet the mother will beat herself up about this for the rest of her life. I bet the man will too.
L.

Tragedy. No one's actions were with malice. She was irresponsible by not preparing properly. Driving in a hurricane is not responsible. My heart breaks for her. I can't imagine losing any of my children, let alone all of them.

My friend lives out there and she prepared her home for the worst and then drove an hour away with her kids to a hotel that had back-up generators. She was safe. She doesn't understand why people were standing on the Jersey Shore taking pictures when they were warned....days in advance. Prepare for the worst, if nothing happens, then fine.

He doesn't deserve a punishment. He didn't do anything wrong or illegal. As you say, he's no hero but her actions were irrational and fatal. No one is obligated to open the door to a stranger, especially under those conditions. She's blaming him for the same reason the other woman is blaming the zoo and for the same reason my SIL is perpetually in search of an "vaccine cause" for my nephew's death... they can't accept the actual "cause" so they will continue to place blame until they feel validated and vindicated.

Who is responsible? Ultimately, the mother. Yes, she was likely in a panic state but she made the choice to leave her home with her children and drive in flood conditions. She does not deserve a punishment either. Again, she's paid the ultimate price.

This happens all the time with natural disasters. Folks ASSUME that the authorities are being overly cautious or that they "know better". They ignore warnings, they stay despite being evacuated, they drive when told to stay off of the streets... then they get angry and start pointing fingers and looking for assistance when the consequences play out.

My heart is breaking for those who have lost everything J. to our South. I grew up in South Florida and vividly remember Hurricane Andrew's destruction of Dade County. It took years to rebuild and many many people suffered immeasurable loss. On top of that, insurance rates sky-rocketed and many couldn't afford to rebuild. Off topic, but mamas... heed warnings when they are given. It is far better to rebuild from nothing than to stay with the intention of protecting "things" and lose everything.

ETA: I don't know why the media isn't sharing the devastation here. It's beyond Katrina levels. Folks, it's true devastation... property, people and livelihoods... gone. Completely gone. I work in Westchester and we won't have power back for another week and we're the lucky ones. Friend in NJ won't be returning to schools until next fall (if they can find the funds to rebuild and replace) and are finding alternate education locations for children miles from their homes.

You know, experience IS a good teacher.
Before I had a child, I thought NOTHING of traversing icy roads to get to work, a friends house, a happy hour, etc.
I am WAY more cautious at 48 than I was at 38, or 28 or 18.
My thought is that the INLY person who will understand the motivation, thought process and actions of the flood mom (and the zoo mom) is her and only her.
Are people suggesting there is a person on earth that believes a "closer look" or a days pay was more important than the life of a child?
Doubt it.

I live in Texas so I can't be objective as to what happened 20 states away from M. nor do I know how bad the storm was or how safe the fence was.

I'm J. sad those children died.