My 11-Month Old Seems to Want to "Separate" My Husband and I

Dear S.,

I have a 14 month old daughter and she does the same. I used to live with my sister when her two daughters were growing up and they did the same. My mum says, I also acted just as possessive when I was a kid.
I think its only because small children are very possessive about their mothers and too young to understand much else. The way my husband and I deal with it, is to hold her close and include her but still sitting close together,so she gets the message without feeling threatened. She is a lot more tolerant of out intimacy now that she was when she was a year old. Hope this helps!!!

Hi! I completely forgot that we went through the same thing with our daughter, Grace who is 2 1/2 yrs. I dont actually remember how long the phase was. She would actually get mad if we hugged, held hands, etc. SHe would cry about it sometimes. But it wasnt just with my husband. If my sister held my hand she would get angry. Our friends went through it with their kids too. I think its perfectly normal, and the phase will pass. I hope that helps.

You are the boss, he's the child. He dosn't decide for you so you should continue bonding with your husband so he can learn that his parents can love each other and him too. If he shows negative behavior when you bond just kiss him and tell him you love him and do the same yo your husband so he will know after a while mommy loves daddy just like I do and he wouldn't mind sharing. Your husband should do the same

My oldest son did this when he was a baby too. I've been a stay at home mom since he was born, so that may have had something to do with it. We just never let him separate us. We'd smile and have fun with it like it was funny, but made sure to keep cuddling in front of him, and letting him sit with us on the couch. He eventually grew out of it.

I go through this too with my 2 and half year old son. Boys love their mommies. If he was a girl she'd be all about Daddy. It's normal. Just tell him that mommy loves daddy too just like you love him. whenver we go out, like to get a pizza or something or food shopping, my son says "Daddy stays home!" If I tell him "no, daddy is coming with us" he throws a tantrum.

His dad was an at-home-dad for the first 2 years of life.

It's just the way it is. Someday he'll want to do nothing with you and just do "guy" stuff with Daddy. Just don't laugh or get mad at him for feeling what he's feeling. but be patient explaining you love them both and you want to hug them both.

Hi S., I just had to respond to you because my husband and I have the exact same arrangement as you and yours. My husband works overnights and stays home with our 2 1/2 year old daughter while I work days. He is exhausted most of the time but it works out well not having to pay for childcare or leave her with strangers. I think your son is just going through a phase. Our daughter didn't do the exact same thing but she definitely would go through spells of preferring one of us over the other. I don't think you should worry. They are just in the process of learning EVERYTHING and trying new things out. I'm sure a time will come one day soon when you and your husband will be saying remember when he used to separate us? and laughing about it. Good luck to you. Jen

My oldest used to do that, I think it was more of the "posessive" phase, but My ex husband was working the same shift yours is and my son didnt want daddy near mommy (I am a stay at home mom) We got him more used to spending time with the both of us by doing activities together that he could enjoy too, for instance there was one game that my son really loved. We would all sit on the floor in a triangle and roll a ball to eachother, by the time he was bored with that, he would be used to mommy and daddy playing WITH him together and then we would all watch something or read a book together or something... Anyway, that worked well for me.

Hope this helps,
A.

That's very common, my son was the exact same way around that age. I remember a specific time when we were all laying in bed watching a movie and my ex-husband put his arm around me... my son looked at him like he was crazy then slapped him in the face. There was never any touchy touchy to be done to his mommy! I wouldn't worry about it, he'll eventually grow out of it, it's just one of those phases kids go through. My Niece was the same way w/her father, she wouldn't let her mom go near her daddy.