My sister has always been the busybody of the family. As soon as she finds out one tidbit of information about a family member...she calls or texts the rest of the family. Hell, my mother had hardly died in the hospital bed...I was holding her crying like there was no tomorrow...snot dripping out of my nose...shaking uncontrolable...happen to glance up and there was my sister in the hallway calling on the phone....no joke she couldn't have been dead 2 minutes. She especially likes to tell bad news...be the first one. I thinks she gets some kind of thrill out of the reaction of the person on the other end. But...this takes the cake. My father died, my son was stationed in Germany, I called the Red Cross for him to return a call to me. We were all sitting in the same room when the phone rang. My sister answered and real hurridly said..."Grampa died"...and handed the phone to me. She just couldn't stand to be the one not to tell him or anyone else. What's up with this?
She's a little cuckoo, but I think EVERY family has one of THOSE.... and they actually are a necessary part of the family.
I have a sister like this we call her the "grim reaper" I know if my phone rings and it is from her house that it is going to be bad news. I dont know why they do it.
Have you asked her why she does that?
HASN'T anyone, just told her this?????
People like that, need to be told directly and pointedly.
I would have no problem, just telling her.
She hurts other people's feelings and only thinks of herself.
So there is no need to walk on eggshells around her and be silent about it.
She is being a BIG Trouble-maker.
I would just tell her off.
If no one tells her... about it, then well, it will happen. And then everyone will just be spectators about it. Letting it happen.
She should see a Therapist.
I can SOOOO relate. My mother is EXACTLY the same way. It's SICK and upsetting.
Definition of SCHADENFREUDE : enjoyment obtained from the troubles of others (My mother's picture SHOULD be next to the definition.)
Sorry to hear of your loss. <Hugs>
My condolences on your loss. It sounds like your sister has a compulsion to be in the middle of things. You're probably not going to be able to change her. You could always bring it up when emotions are not running quite so high and see what she says. Maybe she thinks she's being helpful. Or maybe that's her way of dealing with the grief of loss. Again, I'm sorry about your father.
Seems like your sister has a problem. She craves attention and always wants to be the center of attention. She is very high on herself (and/or insecure). Looking for approval from people, thinking she is going about it the correct way (which of course, she is not). If she were my sister, I would keep my distance.
I too am very sorry for your loss.
I like what S.H. said. Talk to her directly and let her know how rude she is to say the least. I'm sure it won't take her long to tell everyone how you hurt her feelings... but seriously, tell her what she did to tell your son about your dad was way out of line and you are sick of her selfishness.
Since you are a son in the military, I can only assume you and her are over 40, and if she's been doing this for over 40 years, it will be hard for her to change, but I know I wouldn't keep my mouth shut about it. Let her know she's hurtful and selfish.
Completely obnoxious, but sometimes cannot be helped by those that don't know how to react.
I can only say how I'd go about it.... I wouldn't do or say anything. She is who she is. You are who you are. You can't choose your family... But you can love them just the same. Someone told me once, 'get over it or die mad.' I learned to get over it.
It's better than someone starting a fight with you at a funeral.
I am sorry about your loss.
Speak with her about it.
Explain that first of all, YOU need to tell your own children this type of info.
She needs to count to 10 before getting on the horn and always delivering the bad news. People are going to start avoiding her calls thinking it must be bad news.
Hmmm, you and she sound like a couple of toddlers competing for Mommy and Daddy's attention. I wonder whose attention you will both compete for now?
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your parents. Sounds like you are needing to shift your grief into anger for your sister. I'm guessing your parents would not be pleased.
The fewer family members you have, the more you need the ones you've got. Maybe you can make your parents proud and be the BIG SISTER, the diplomatic sister, the one who makes it nice for everyone else by forgiving and embracing (with humor) your families little differences.
Peace to you Sista!
:)
I am so sorry about your mother and your father's passing and yes we all have someone who seems to be in our lives like this. Oh my gosh she sounds like my husband's sister. The woman never calls unless there is bad news. Actually his mother never calls either unless she needs money or has bad news. However she is really nice and they are both living far away so that doesn't bother me so much-but still she apparently wants to feel important or she wouldn't do that. Perhaps some day, long after the grieving has taken place you could have a gentle discussion about this. Not that it will change anyone but at least you could vent. And if you need to vent to us some more. If I am accurate, this will be a hard time for you for awhile.
Girl, my mom is the same way! I don't understand it either. And you're right its like they get some pleasure out of sharing bad news. They just don't think how it affects and hurts you in that situation. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss honey! Focus on yourself n try not to worry about her. We all grieve differently.
When I was diagnosed with cancer this month, my mom called everyone and their mother, whoever would listen. I then got texts, emails and facebook messages from people who I really didn't want to know or talk to. It angered me too because this should be private, its me going through it. My sister said "you know this is what mom lives for, to share bad news." My response "Glad I could help!" Sometimes you gotta just let it go and go on with your life. People are just stupid!
Umm, she's a nut & an attention seeker is what it sounds like to me. At the same time, if you know this about her & she's always been this way, maybe it has something to do with how she deals with stress. A lot of people suffering from depression are the same way. It's as if by spreading the bad news around it will help them to lessen what they're carrying. Of course, people NOT suffering from depression know this is not the case, but intense selfishness goes hand-in-hand with depression.
Just try to ignore her as best as you can. What's done is done now.
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In my experience, people who behave this way have deep seated inferiority issues. Being the one to toll the death bell gives them a sense of importance and superiority, since they get to show off to the person they're telling that they're "in the know." Sad really.
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your parents. Since they're both gone, I'm not sure if this issue will come up again, but you should calmly let your sister know how much it hurt you to have her rob you of a chance to console your son by telling him gently about his grandpa's passing. Seems to me that your sister is only interested in what *she* can get from these situations, and is not interested in what anyone else might need. Sounds like she needs help.
Best of luck to you.
Souds like my sister-in-law and she's mentally disabled.
Hello, Your sister is a busy body. She will probably never change and probably doesn't want to. Just try to make sure that she doesn't get to people you need to talk to and hopefully, she will at least be curbed.
Good luck with your precious family.
K. K.
I've known people like this. When MIL's dear dog died while she was on vacation we didn't tell her. When DH's cousin picked her up at the airport, she told her in the baggage claim. Really? It couldn't wait til she was home?
