Need Your Opinions, Please!

Updated on April 21, 2010
M.C. asks from Murfreesboro, TN
24 answers

Feel free to ask your husbands and post what they say, too! =0) My 10yr wedding anniversary is May 20th. I've been thinking about getting my husband a new wedding band. He currently has a plain yellow gold band. I had the inside engraved with "I.A.T.L.O"....which stands for "I Am The Lucky One". Well, times have certainley changed and now yellow gold has been replaced with white gold. His watch is white gold and it seems to be what he gravitates towards now. So, I was thinking about getting him a really nice white gold wedding band and having it engraved with "I.A.S.T.L.O"...meaning, "I Am STILL The Lucky One". However, I'm just not sure if he would love it. Please give me your opinion and ask your hubby how HE would like something like that b/c I'd love some mens perspective on it as well. Also, if any of you ladies have other great suggestions on a meaningful, loving gift....please share! My hubby is a computer/video game/electronics lover, but I just don't feel like all that electronic stuff says "Happy TEN YEAR Wedding Anniversary, Honey". LOL =0) Thanks for the help!

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K.C.

answers from Portland on

Mu husband would like something like that. He has a Titanium band and then the next year he got a band for the other hand with some diamonds in it (NOT my first choice but he wanted it) that is white gold. My set is also white goldso he likes that we match. My husband says as long as it's not skinny and girly looking that it would be a great gift!

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L.K.

answers from Chicago on

My husband would never want another wedding band and neither would I. I guess it depends on him. Personally I would want to go on a trip or something. Happy Anniversary!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

It sounds sweet. But I asked my husband and he said he would not replace his band...Ever. He said that it is just something you never "upgrade".

BTW - White gold is softer and gets scratched and bent out of shape easier. If you go ahead...Consider platinum.

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M.H.

answers from Chattanooga on

I have only been married to my hubby for 2 and a half years and his band got dented up and was no longer a circle anymore. We took it to a jeweler to see what they could do and they said that if they tried to bend it back it might not fit right. So I asked him if he would like a new one and he told me no because it was not the ring that was blessed by God when we got married. He said that even though the ring was dented it was still special to him. Now my parents got there vows renewed and they got a whole new set of wedding bands because my dad's band didn't fit his finger anymore. Now maybe if you went that route and got your vow's renewed you could get the new band with the letters engraved on it. It is just a suggestion. But I do like your idea. Maybe you should hint at it but not let him know that you are actually planning on doing it.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

My opinion - I would never want a different engagement and/or wedding band than the my originals, I would hope my hubby wouldn't want a new one either! Those rings mean so much, regardless whether they are out of style now, they are the rings with which we chose to start our lives together. But, that is just my opinion on the matter!!!

If your hubby mentioned that he would rather have a ring that matches his watch, then go for it. I like the idea of adding the "still" in the engraving. What about a pocket watch? I know that isn't something that is used for everyday, but it is something that can be used for special occasions, it can be passed down the generations, and it can be engraved.

Let us know what you decide!

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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

When we got married (almost 6 years ago), we didn't have much money so we didn't get my husband the band he wanted. We just got a plain white gold band. We've been blessed over the past few years and I've asked him several times if he wanted to replace the band with the one he wanted originally. He told me that it wouldn't mean the same thing to him and unless it was the original one he promised to marry me with, he didn't want it. We don't think that men find things sentimental, but they do. I think it is a great idea/gesture but he may think that it just isn't the same as the one he is wearing now. I would definitely speak with him about it before making it a surprise. Once the ring is engraved, you can't return it. Maybe you could get him something else that is engravable. Tie clip, pocket watch, lighter, etc. If you take a look at Things Remembered or do an online search there are a lot of items that can be engraved. Hope I've helped! Happy 10 years!

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N.W.

answers from New York on

My husband would probably like that too, but he would also have a problem replacing his wedding band. Maybe instead of replacing the band you can take it to a jeweler to have it dipped in white gold twice, maybe 3x's so you can engrave.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Just asked my husband and he said "no way", He loves his ring and it never goes out of style to him..

My wedding and enagement rings were stolen 20 years ago and to this day, I have never been able to replace them. I have tried other rings and searched, but I told my husband I may be strange, but I hold the real rings are in my heart.
There was too much put into the first rings, from where and how it was purchased the situations surrounding it.. Just can never really be replaced.

Maybe you could have a smaller ring made from another metal to buddy up with the original ring.. It can be like his anniversary ring to wear along with the original.

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M.F.

answers from Kansas City on

I just LOVE your idea!...how sweet it is. Congratulations!!!
I can guess my hubby's opinion (he's not here right now) He would say no way, too. Men are weird.

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

I love your idea! I am actually in the process of having my ring remounted to white gold. My husband bought me a white gold eternity band for our anniversary and I want my engagement ring/wedding band to match.

I did ask my husband and he liked the idea, too.

Good luck!
K.

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B.S.

answers from Lexington on

After reading the answers most agree with what I was thinking- I would NEVER give up what I got... My husband spent only $100 on my engagement ring and yes it is real, but it was his aunts, we just had it reset My wedding band was only $25, we were poor when we got married, I would love to have an anniversary band, but would never replace what I have... He can't wear his wedding band he works with paint solvents and electricity so it is too dangerous, but we keep it safe, he would never replace that ring, 11 years this July...

If you feel like he would WANT the ring than buy it, he may wear it/love it and keep the old one because of what it symbolizes. Try asking your Father-In-Law if they are close. He may hold your answer. GOD BLESS and GOOD LUCK:) CONGRATS

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

Ask him what he wants. I was going to get my husband a fancier band since his is so plain and scuffed, and when I was looking at some online, he actually had a style he really liked but never told me till I brought it up.

And there are some really neat techie like rings and such by handmade artisans on Etsy, you should check some of them out, many of them do custom work:

http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_query=silve...

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I think that would depend on your husband and his connection to his ring. My husband picked his out. He had had it picked out before we even met! Yes, he worked in a jewelry store when he was young. I also picked mine out and when I hear of women that "upgrade" their rings, it boggles my mind. I plan to have this ring until I die. I have only taken mine off when pregnant, and my husband has never taken his off.

We have a friend that lost his while rafting and he and his wife went down to Costco to get a new one. I know another that upgraded the stone in her ring without even telling her husband. I know that everyone is different in this matter.

Has you husband made comments about his ring being outdated? What about a nice two tone watch, that will have the white gold, and the yellow gold?

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L.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Congrats!
My husband and I have been married 21 years. We are a little odd when it comes to presents and really don't "buy" things for each other. For our 20th anniversary we wanted to celebrate it a little different. All my sister in laws had upgraded their rings/diamonds, but that's not my style. We travel a ton anyway and once you come home it's just memories. So we bought 40 acres and plan to build and retire there!
I can tell you that my husband was playing water volleyball once and his wedding band flew off. It took several days with a metal detector before we found it. I remember saying something like we would just get another one and "update" it. He wanted THAT band and still does not want a new one because it was THAT band that we got married with.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

Just adding to your many responses. Just asked hubs he said no to the upgrade, same reasons as the other hubbies. He is also a computer/videogame/electronic lover to the umpteenth power but aslo said a new computer or a PS3 does not say happy anniversary. We vote for a trip or romantic weekend. Next year is our 10th and we hope to go to Spain. We will also take the DVD that my hubs made for the music at our wedding. Congrats on the 10 years and you will find the perfect gift.

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F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I never wanted to change or upgrade my engagement or wedding band, my husband feels the same. So since we both like jewlery, we really got great deals on our rings and they are very nice (mines over 3 cts) and we intend to keep them forever. I could not imagine either of us changing them for other rings. Just our opinions. Congrats on the 10 years and good luck with what you decide to do! :o)

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V.M.

answers from Memphis on

Mel,

You said that he gravitates to white gold now and I think your new motto for inscription says it all! My husband purchased me a beautiful white gold set for our wedding anniversary (11 years). I hope to pass the yellow gold set down to one of the kids or perhaps wear it again when yellow gold returns as the hip jewelry metal. I think if buy the white gold ring for him, he will love it.

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J.G.

answers from Nashville on

could you get the gold ring dipped in white gold. i know they can redip white gold rings. that may take care of it.

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

It depends on your hubby and his connection. My hubby lost his ring when he was almost killed in a car accident 15 yrs ago. We still have it, it is just in the pieces cut up from the ER.

He's never worn another one and it does not bother me.

As for me, no, I would not upgrade. Actually, I need my band cut off because it will not come off but I don't have the heart to do it. As for my diamond, no way....I have an older (miner) cut, very round in a solitaire setting right around 4 carat.....original and it will be passed through our family (if I don't get knocked over the head and robbed) but it is insured..still never replacable.

We like to travel.....for our 10 year, we spent a week in Hawaii.

This year will be 22 yrs.!

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W.M.

answers from Nashville on

My husband also has a gold band that is engraved. I have a platinum band. I have asked my husband if he would like a platinum or white gold band and he says he really does like his gold band. He does not want another one and does not feel it needs to match. Our 10 yr is coming up and I am buying him a watch. I bought him a watch for our wedding day that was engraved "it's time" b/c that is what he said to me when he wanted to marry me so quick after first dating. I personally think for a man a watch would be better used and appreciated. Your husband may already have a nice watch though. My husband has a sports watch and he has a dress watch so maybe you could do one of those and have it engraved on the back. A friend of mine did get her husband a white band for their anniversary but what she did was have his same band dipped in the white gold. You can do that and it looks great but you will have to have it dipped about once a year b/c the white can rub off eventually. It is not much to have it dipped but it is something to consider. If you do that he can keep his same ring. I would just ask your husband one day....say, "are you not wanting a new white gold ring since your watch is silver?" and see what he says. Just be matter of fact, not inquisitive for a gift....he may not want it.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

My husband is constantly wanting to upgrade my stone from a blue topaz to a diamond. I honestly love it exactly as it is - I never wanted a diamond because I wanted to marry him, not my ring. I know my ring was inexpensive, but that's exactly what I love about it!

It never hurts to ask before making a major investment like that - you'll not be able to take it back after it's been engraved.

There have been several things I've wanted to do for my husband for our anniversary, and I'm glad I've asked because they weren't his first pick.

I think it's a really lovely sentiment!

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C.M.

answers from Raleigh on

For my 10 year anniversary I had a DVD made for my husband with pictures from our wedding day through the first 10 years of our marriage. For the pre-children pictures I used the song "From This Moment On" by Shania Twain. For the post-children pictures I used the song "A New Day Has Come" by Celine Dion. It turned out beautifully and it is something we will both always treasure. We are about to celebrate out 16 year anniversary next weekend and I pulled the DVD out and watched it just a couple of weeks ago. Every time I watch it I fall in love with him all over again!

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K.H.

answers from Huntington on

Funny you write this. My husband's and my 10 year was April 8th and that is what we wanted to do for our anniversary. When we were married, my husband could have cared less about the ring, but when we have looked, he really likes the Titanium ones. They come with different finishes, but I personally like the ones that are a dark gray. You may want to check them out!!

Short of something ultra personal (like a wedding band), I think the best gift would be the gift of time...with each other, that is. Even if $$ is tight, maybe you could plan an overnight get away. We just a had a baby, so with maternity leave and (of course) the baby, I don't feel like I can get away right now, but we really want to do something in the fall.

Congrats and good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I personally love the idea! The updated engraving is cute and ties in the first band so that it really is just an upgrade and not a whole new ring. Reading your other comments though, it sounds like some people are really tied to the original rings so it might depend on what type of guy your hubby is. If he's really fashionable then he might love the option to have an updated ring that will match his watch, etc. But if he's more of a sentimentalist, then maybe you should look for another idea. Happy 10 years! :)

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