She Talks TOO Much!!

When my son was born I had a co-worker who's kids were pre school age. She told me
'You spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.'.
Being a brand new mother I was very slightly offended, but then a few years passed and suddenly I knew exactly what she meant!
It takes awhile for them to learn to get to the point.
And then another decade goes by and as teens their answers start getting so brief it's hard to get a whole sentence sometimes.

Be patient, I would jump to say most 4yr olds do that. My son used to be super quiet and all of a sudden he is a chatter box too. Their imaginations are running wild and they are excited about their new laundry list of new words. Don't get annoyed or ignore them, they really want you to hear and it will probably be the start of communicating other things later. If you show disgust now, they might shut down later. I believe this too will pass.

That is my daughter! She is now 6, i think she actaully started at two...not kidding!

The problem now is.... i have to have a meeting with her teacher. She is talking too much in school :( I constantly remind her at home. I tell her that we don't have to always tell a story. She can look at a salt shaker and tell a 10 minute story!

Let me know if you come up with anything...

just wait until she hits 5 years old! lol

I tell mine ...rest your voice for a bit....you only have so many words to use in a day. You wouldn't want to run out of words.

Music might also be a great distraction for her.

The up side. She is comfortable with you and wants to entertain you. Give her a hug for that.

Too funny!!! My four year old little lady is the same way. Her preschool teacher told me that my husband and I had better not have a double life, because she tells EVERYTHING!!! She will recount every meal, interaction, show she watched, etc., etc. She also is not always clear in her enunciation and her teacher thought she was saying God is a lizard, but was actually talking about Godzilla (her Dad mentioned Godzilla to her). Also, Daddy likes to jog with our dog in the foothills and I commented that he needs to be careful because we have some mountain lions in the hills and she asked her teacher to pray that a mountain lion wouldn't get him.....guess I really need to watch what I say. I was/am quite a chatterbox so guess I should take the credit. My teachers either loved that I was a social butterfly or called me disruptive depending on their ability to appreciate my love for the spoken word. ( ;

She will learn it, when she is ready. Kids talk, it is what they do. Be grateful that she is so aware of how to tell stories and go into details. Be grateful that she CAN talk. Be grateful that she WANTS to talk. Encourage it ALWAYS. She may just be a talker and she may just be excited. Encourage it, guide her how to tell stories, and love her. There are moms out there who's babies don't talk...at all...or to them...or to anyone...bless what you have.

B.
Family Success Coach

Good Morning M., I have a little girl in my daycare who is 5 today, and she is a talker, and she is very deatiled as well, although it does drive you crazy listen anyway, because when you stop listening or seem un interested she will stop coming to you and you do not want that. i walk Gabriel to school and back home everyday, and she talks non stop the whole way, most kids at this age have such a enthusiastic about everything around them, and you don't want squash that, just listen, and when it gets crazy think about the child who has a speech problem and can not communicate like your daughter can. Gabriel will interrup as well, she will say excuse me, and I will say Gabby were talking you need to wait, and then she says I said excuse me, so were still working on that part. but she will get it and so will your daughter, I have a daughter too (21) and she used to always talk, and I always listened now at 21 she still comes to me with almost every thing and we talk alot together. Hope this helps. J.

HAHAHAHA, I know JUST what you mean! My girl is very chatting too, she does NOT stop when I pick her up from school, she trips over her own words sometimes trying to get it all out. She's now 13 and in 8th grade, and I know exactly what happened to her every minute of every day right down to the 3 inch pumps her english teacher was wearing yesterday! Sometimes it just rattles my brain!

I think she and your daughter will be writers someday

I can't even tune her out, she watches my face and will say, 'did you hear what I just said MOM?!'

On the other hand I can't get ANY info at ALL out of my boys, have to hold them upsidedown by their ankles and SHAKE it out of them!

Enjoy her, sounds like she's going to have a big exciting life!!

(btw, she WILL eventually learn to not talk out of turn, I promise!)

OK, so I AM your daughter...and I'm well past 4.

I think this is a skill to learn, not "manners" you can teach. I still need reeling in most of the time...I just get on a roll and can't seem to stop myself.

For my children, I am trying to teach them a few things:
1. what's the point of what you're trying to tell them
2. what's important that they know
3. how did you feel/others react
4. what's the END

Right now our girls can tell a "story", but leave out important details so what they've told you doesn't seem to make sense.

At 4, I'd just try to focus on "what is the important part you want to say" and to save her "stories" for you at home.

An avid storyteller ;)

Count your blessings. I have a child that started talking very early and she is now 8 and still talks a whole lot. My son who is 5 is speech delayed and he talks now not perfect but I don't have to translate anymore. You have no idea what it's like when your child can't speak and all he does is "grunt" and points in his mouth trying to tell you he can't speak. That was my son when he was 2yrs old. You are very blessed that your daughter talks and likes to give details on what she wants to say in such early age.

Blessings to you and your family. :)

Sounds like a typical 4 year old. My 4 yo is the same way and I think it's about getting attention. When he starts on something, I just ask simple questions about the story before it goes on too long. For example- "What kind of toys were in the game?" "What toy did you want to win?" He will eventually lose interest in telling it. lol

YOu keep telling her to take a breath adn stop a minute so you can talk or others can talk.
You use good speaking and listening skills.
Mine used to fall asleep in midsentence and wake up talking. She is 15, comes home from school and monopolizes my ears for a good hour at times.
I someitmes have to say Sarah my ears are tired please telll me about it later.
My daughter does enjoy music, like another poster suggested and can sing all the latest songs she hears on the radio.
I now give her the paper so she has something coherent to talk about. She also joined the debate club at school and the drama club.

Make a game out of it at dinner or after dinner. Get the whole family involved. Play "pass the talking stick" (or some other object). Every one gets a turn, the others must listen without interrupting. Whoever has the stick is the one who speaks. Set a timer for 5 minutes, when the time is up, the stick goes to the person on the left or right or whatever you decide. This will help her learn to listen to others politely and take turns, also that she has a limited time to tell her story. If she interrupts, she loses her turn that round. If she chooses to get upset and leave the room, she doesn't get a turn at all. The rest of the family should keep playing a couple rounds. Write out the rules and go over them. Keep the rules simple. Also ask her to save her stories for the "Talking Stick Game", so everyone doesn't have to hear them multiple times. Love to hear if it works for you.

AND with an 11 year old I'm still hearing those stories! IT NEVER ENDS!!!! LOL my, 11 year old does that, always has and always will I guess. Sometimes when i just dont have time for her super detailed story, I just say "baby, I love you but we are in a rush, can you tell me the point and I'll hear the whole story later" she tells the the point but I GET THE WHOLE STORY LATER!!! LOL.

My son is 8 and has ADHD/Aspergers. He talks or sings constantly, while wandering in and out of the room in the middle of the conversation. On the plus side, I never have to wonder what he's doing. Before I had kids, I actually thought my house was TOO quiet. When I get tired of listening to my son, I put the tv on in the background with the sound off and pretend I'm still paying attention. He's much quieter when listening to music or stories with headphones on, or when he takes ADHD meds.
It sounds like your daughter has the story as a whole block planned out in her mind. Is she able to draw pictures to go with her stories? By the end of kindergarten, my son's classmates were able to draw 3 pictures, and then write a sentence to go with each to make a story with a beginning, middle, and end.

She is learning to express herself and doing quite well. Your just going to have to wait this out and letter her take everything in the big world in. They probably think we don't know about everything out there and they need to let us know.

I go throught the same thing with my son. He TALKS AND TALKS!!!!! But it's good that they talk alot. It would be worse if they didn't talk. Just let her talk it's good for her. I let mine talk all that he wants even though he gives me headaches at times, but' it's ok. He speaks VERY well for his age (4yrs).

hahaha, so cute. She's 4. She is just learning the art of communication. You might gently tell her "um, you just told me that, please tell me something new".. but in the mean time don't squealch her talkativeness... she's a girl afterall and we all like to yack from time to time. Sometimes when you are sitting and chatting with her you might explain to her how people like to hear short stories and not long drawn out ones.... and explain to her how to do that. Use one of her stories as an example, you have to teach her how to get to the point faster, right now she doesnt know how to do it.

she's just learned to talk and really understand what she is saying, if she storms off because you're not listening to every word, then just let her...she's excited about this communication tool she has called talking. if she can write?? have her write the story down

my daughter is 8 and STILL talks too much and has starting reinacting what happened in her story...lol

My daughter has always done this and she is ADHD.
I sometimes asked her to be quiet so I could think or we had games that involved being quiet. I have interrupted her long drawn out explanations and asked her questions that usually lead to the point.
Chewing gum helps as well it keeps her mouth busy so the talking is less.

I think this is fairly normal....I remember both my girls being like that at that age...my 15 year old STILL has to start her story over if she gets interrupted!
Sounds like she is craving attention. Maybe you could dedicate a time to give her the floor and have your undivided attention. Sit her down and explain that she doesn't need to start stories over when she is interrupted or no one will listen to her when she talks :)
Maybe set a timer on the oven after school and give her 15 minutes to talk to you about her day with your undivided attention. If she starts to tell you stories before then, tell her to write it down and save it until "story time".
Good luck and congrats on raising a creative child!

Be Thankful she is a talker,I have an 18 month old that has a speech delay getting her to talk is hard she is stubborn & chooses not to...You may not have time to make complete eye contact with her or stoop down to her level to have full blown conversations that last awhile but your responses to her conversations is so important she is developing her personality her speech & learning from the responses from those who listen to her...I too have a soon to be 4 yr old we argue who is talking & when it get to us talking over each other I have to let 1 child talk at a time then i'll turn to the next child after that thye are finished & go about their day because they were listened to

I like the phrase somone mentioned "my ears hurt."

Maybe you could teacher time management with this. Say "The drive to school is 7 minutes. I get to talk one, Joey can talk 3, you can talk 3." Bring a timer that counts DOWN from 3min and let her hold it.

Another teachable moment is 'summary.' I know, she's 4, but she can learn that not every detail needs to be mentioned when telling a story. If you model how the crane game story should have gone, she might get it after lots of practice. But ask her "Did I mention how the crane went down? no. Did I mention that we put the coin in the slot? no. Did I mention that it was a yellow crane game? no. The short summary is 'Mom let me play the crane game. I really wanted to get the doggie toy. I aimed it just right, but the crane didn't grab it so I didn't win. But it was fun anyways. I hope mom let's me play it again sometime.' " If you model for her, hopefully she'll get it.

Oh this brings back memories! My daughter was a "chatty cathy" and at 22 she still is. My son on the other hand could give lessons to the CIA on how to keep quiet! We would tell our daughter that we love hearing her stories but that others want to participate in the conversation. She finally got the idea, sort of! Good luck

I'm going to take a different approach here... think back to when you were a little girl for a minute. Imagine that your grandparents took you to a carnival for the first time. You had never seen anything like the ferris wheel or a merry-go-round before. It was the most exciting thing you had ever seen... all of the beautiful colors and lights. It was simply mesmerizing! Now, imagine your grandparents took you home to your parents and you absolutely could NOT wait to tell your mom and dad about all that you saw and all that you did.

Here is my question... what would your parents say to you? Would your parents say, "Not now honey.. Mommy is busy... stop talking... you're driving me crazy." Or would your parents stop what they are doing, get down on one knee, look you in the eye and say, "That is fantastic honey... I want to hear all about it... tell me more... I am SO glad you were able to experience something so fantastic!" Which would it be?

Be thankful your daughter is so verbal... not every child has that gift at 4. It may even serve her well later in life if she continues to have good communication skills. The fact that you mentioned she gets mad is highly suggestive that she feels like no one ever listens to her or pays attention to her. Ask yourself, why is that and try to look at it from her perspective?

If she is interrupting, that is a completely separate issue altogether. Teach her how to NOT interrupt when someone is talking. The "talking stick" idea that someone mentioned earlier is a great idea. "Honey, big brother has the talking stick right now. Let him finish and then you can have the talking stick and can tell us all about the crane." When she is successful with NOT interrupting, reward her with simple praise. You would be surprised at how effective a little positive reinforcement is!