She Wouldn't Get Dressed

I wouldn't have put jammies back on. Just tune out the tantrum and put her clothes on. I bet she would have been done with her tantrum before she saw grandma.

Unfortunately, all you taught her today was that if she screams loud enough and cries hard enough, she will get her way.

You'll be dealing with this again. Sorry.

Why would you put her back in her pj's ? She will see that if she has a tantrum, she will win and won't have to listen to you. I suggest you lay out the clothes the night before and have her help you pick. Then in the morning give her 1 chance to get dressed--if she doesn't, then you put her clothes on for her.

Take control of the house mama! She needs to learn she can't refuse to get dressed. Don't put her back in her jammies--ever. GL

You're the mom, you're in charge.
At two you are teaching her your rules and expectations.
If she learns that she gets to have her way by crying and screaming? Well, you're just setting yourself up for many years of bad behavior, and it's only going to get worse.
Sometimes it's okay to have a choice, but getting dressed is not a choice, IMO.
Just ignore the tears and drama, she'll get over it.

i would have made sure she had a firm bedtime and wake up and had had some breakfast before i picked this battle, then i would have enticed her with a smile in my voice telling her how lucky she is to wear her pink stripy shirt and does she want the fun bluejeans or the cute leggings.

no way i would have put her back in her jammies though, if you had to fight her, then fight her all the way.

no 2 yo is going to make my parenting decisions for me.

Christy Lee said it best.

Into every life there will be some tears but because you cry shouldn't ever equal you getting your way. Bad president.

In my home we don't permit the inmates to run our assylum so to speak.

It is important for her to learn to be obedient. It is winter time, so going out in the jammies wouldn't work well here in cold New Jersey.

Understand she will do this behavior again because it worked. You have to be stronger and than the tears because you are the mom and you do know what is best for her. She has no clue, she is only 2.

You're letting the child rule the house. Stop.

It's cold here. No one goes anywhere in pj's. Even if it were nice out I wouldn't allow it. Pj's are for sleeping or sitting around the house.

Tantrum or not, my child would have gotten dressed.

We've been known to pin down our 2 year old and strap some clothes on him. Its a two person job when he's resisting. Doesn't get his compliance, but it gets him dressed and out the house.

When faced with a tantrum/ tears we've taken to saying things like -
"we know it's hard work being a two year old." it communicates our empathy, and reminds us that indeed, DS is trying his best, although it might not meet our measure.
"its ok to feel sad/ cry/ feel angry, because mom/ dad said no, but you can't . . . ."
sometimes these few words help stave the tantrum, sometimes they don't.

We don't leave the house unless we are fully dressed.

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Made her get changed. I think if you let them get away with throwing a tantrum to get their way, they will do it more and more often.

My general philosophy is: Pick your battles, and then win the battles you pick. So, I would've either given in really early, before she pitched a fit, or, once the tears and screams began I would've picked up the phone and said -- sad voice -- "Oh, Grammy, I'm so sorry. Maddie can't come to your house after all. She won't change out of her PJs." Grammy'll figure it out ;).

In other words, it's really not a big deal for a 2-yr-old to wear her PJs all day, but you do NOT want to reward a screaming fit, believe me.

Personally, I am really flexible about clothing choices.

I always gave my kids options about their clothes. You can wear this or that. Which one. Oh, you want to wear your PJs - again. Sure.

My eldest daughter lived in her white slip for a spell. When it became very cold I insisted that she wear sweats or leggings underneath it all. I was truly mortified by this outfit choice and then one day a dad held the door open for her entering a store and made a big deal about how beautiful she was, just like a princess. And she was beaming. She's now 24 and gorgeous and wears lovely clothes.

Honestly, this phase is just developmental. And it could even be a tactile thing. She probably loves the way her jammies feel. I'm surprised at the mom's who vote that that they would not allow such choices to be made. Again personally, this sort of stuff never bothered me. Fine, wear that. I never felt publicly ashamed of her choices. If anything, I knew I was one of the few moms allowing self expression.

Left her in her jammies. BUT I would make sure there was a downside to not getting dressed. Like you and she had to wait in the car while grandma went in someplace because she can't go in in her jammies. Then next time maybe she'd get dressed.

Left her in her jammies. You said it yourself -- one pajama drop-off is usually all it takes.

Also, for grandma, I would definitely leave her in her jammies vs. going through all that. Let grandma deal with it. :)

p.s. I don't think she should get her way after crying and tantruming, but at 2-1/2 I don't think the issue needs to be pushed that far. I really don't see why she couldn't see grandma in her p.j.'s.

My kids sleep in their outfits for the next day, for this reason. Advice from a coworker years ago that saved my sanity. If it's an outfit that will look wrinkled in the morning, they just sleep in their underwear. Then they HAVE to get dressed.

I would've left her in her pjs. Who cares what a 2 1/2 year old is wearing? Kids need to have choices about something in their lives.

I'm wearing my pjs right now...I worked from home this morning. Having choices is fabulous at any age!

I've taught obedience to my dog, cooperation to my daughter. We all get along just fine...

Depends. If you really wanted to go meet Grandma, I would have left her in her jammies and brought her along as is. Same with preschool. School is not a choice. Yes, I'd bring her to school in the jammies. If SHE was the one who really wanted to go see Grandma and it wasn't something I really needed to do at that time, I wouldn't have brought her until she could get dressed. Then whatever she wants next, toys, treat, TV show, etc. I would say, "yes, right after you get dressed"

Be flexible about anything you can be flexible about. Check out Love and Logic (loveandlogic.com). It's choice and natural consequences based parenting. One of the cool things is giving kids choices when the outcome is unimportant so they feel independent and learn to make good choices, and it cuts down on battles (usually). Stuff like "honey, we need to change your diaper now. Do you want to wear your jammies or an outfit?" You get the clothes/diaper taken care of, SHE picks the clothes. She feels "big", and you get the job done. Win/win. :)

You can find books at the library or bookstore about it. It works pretty well most of the time.

My suggestion is to have her pick the outfit she'll wear the following day, the night before, from 2-3 choices that you provide to her. (In other words, not just anything in her whole closet, but a few choices you feel would be appropriate based on the following day's activities and weather.) That way, if she isn't much of a morning person, at least you have the clothing choice decided the night before.

That having been said, a child should never receive what they wanted as the result of a tantrum. That is a slippery slope, mama. Because your daughter threw a fit and got what she wanted today, this will happen again. In general, it's best to set up a small child's life so you don't have to pick many battles, but the battles you pick, you win, period. If you'll be leaving the house, she does need to understand that getting dressed is not optional.

YOu said it in your first paragraph - one pajama drop off and that's the end of it. We have all had those days - they start when you're tired, PMS and in a rush. Kids seem to pick up on it. Your child is starting to realize she's a small, individual person and wants to flex her independent muscle. That's a good thing - it means she's developing normally. On a good day when I'm the mom I like to think I am I would have said "If you want to stay in your PJs that's OK - I'd rather you change but you can make that choice today. But we need to get the wet yucky diaper off - that's not an option." then I'd let her noodle that over. usually if they feel they have some control they give in on the non-negotiable item.

BUT - if we are truthful we have all had one of those mornings / evenings when we don't handle our kids they way we'd like to. Forgive yourself. Ask you daughter about it later in the day. ADmit to her that neight of you handled it well - ask her how do you think we should do this better the next time? GIve her some options: "how about next time we pick out clothes the night before? you can decide what you want to wear. or if you don't want to pick out clothes the night before why don't you pick out a couple of different outfits that we can set aside. Which would you rather do?"

Ultimately, though, you're going to have those days. The bottom line is that she needs to understand, early on, that you are the final word - wether you decide that day or the night before. NOw that my daughter is 16 I'm glad we agree on that. I don't always think her choices are the most flattering or that they match, etc. - but bottom line she's modest and knows that's our family requirement. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff. And just so you feel better, anybody who sees 2 - 3 yr old walking around in a red velvet dress with striped wool tights and glittery pink too-small shoes knows that her mom didn't pick that out (her dad might have). We all know Miss Independent picked out her own clothes - and that's really OK. I'd much rather stay in my PJ's too.

I would have cancelled the Grandma visit if she wasn't going to cooperate! But then I wouldn't have allowed my 2-1/2 year old to tell me she wasn't going to get dressed!

My son tried this ONCE when he was in Kindergarten - I told him if he didn't get dressed he would be put on the bus in his pajamas. Well, bus coming down the road, Mommy not backing down...needless to say he moved pretty darn fast to get dressed that morning. Never had a problem after that!! In fact, his little sister would try it a couple years later and he warned her to get dressed because Mommy would put her on the bus in pajamas. Again, no problems!!

You need to get a grip on this now or it will never get better!!!

Good luck!!

honestly there wouldnt hae been an argument. i wouldve left her in her jammies. emmy wore a slip like someones daughter below for a while, also princess costumes out, gowns to 1st grade currently...to M. its not worht the battle
BUT
the times i did put my foot down i wouldnt give in J. so she knew she couldnt scream to get her way

so if i was you, if i puicked the battle i'd stand my ground...but i wouldnt have picked the battle

PS one day wearing jammies to school at 3 wont matter. most kids think its cool=)

Now I understand why college girls wear their pjs to class.

As a mom, I would have made her get dressed.
As a grandma, I wouldn't have made her get dressed.

You are her teacher. At least you made her get her diaper changed.
That's step one. You have many oportunitines to get yourself into a morning routine. This way didn't work. Try another. Bravo to you for trying.