She's a Runner

She's in the "terrible 2's" stage, she's a runner, and very active. My friend's boys were like that too, and my son is like that too. I can relate.

Sometimes all the nipping in the bud you do, will or will not work. BUT, being that you are pregnant, I would take safety first. Use the harness... sure, they will pull on it wanting to go in all directions.... but don't give in. Use your voice and show her that you will NOT give in. At least for my son, he has learned that. OR, simply leave her at home with someone so that you can do errands, even though she may protest about it. With the baby coming... I would surely get a "plan" set up so that you have a back-up helper when you need to go on your OB or well baby appointments in the future. LOTS of Moms do this... do not feel you have to go it alone. Or, there are delivery services that will do grocery or other "errands" for you. Check your area for that. Or, simply go on your errands when Daddy is home... surely he can understand. It's perfectly reasonable.

Do you have your family or his family in town? Enlist their help. Talk to them ahead of time, so that everyone will be on the same page about it.

As for the tantrums/screaming they do at the worst times while you are out... you can't give in. Or distract her. But don't use "treats" or bribes... otherwise they will think that any tantrum will bring them treats. I simply tell my son, who is almost 2 yrs, old, "no" and if he keeps yelling then so be it... but I don't give in. I also explain to him what I want him to do.... ie: "you must sit in your stroller while Mommy is in the store...then I will let you out...." and he does understand this and will do it. It takes repetition. If they see they can wear you down, they will.

Or, tell them that "Mommy needs help... we don't yell in stores... if you do we are leaving." At this age though, they are still learning social rules and do not have full impulse control yet.... but they do need to learn boundaries.

I know it's hard... and with the baby coming and all. But enlist help for yourself... there is nothing wrong with that and getting an extra pair of hands to help you. If anything, and if you can afford it, get a "nanny" to come to your house...to help. The "toddler" phase is not an easy one for sure!

It will pass though.
All the best,
~Susan

I have one word for you BUBBLEGUM. She gets it while sitting nicely in the shopping cart or stroller, the second she wants out no more bubblegum.

I used to use reward and scare tactics.

shopping cart - I prepare snacks and juice to occupy my boys. If they behaved, I let them pick a snack or candy to purchase at the end of the trip right before check out. And I remind them at the beginning of next shopping trip that they get a reward if they behave.

At the mall, I tell them they cannot be anywhere I cannot see them. If they run off, a bad guy might kidnap them and I would be so sad. so they have to be right next to me.

There is a great book called Kid Cooperation by Elizabeth Pantley. She helps parents make the transition in their parenting styles so their kids grow from "defiance to compliance." Of course, that meaning healthy trust and obedience. I hope you will check it out and see what it can help you create. Also, The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute. It teaches us how to take on the unavoidable battles we face as parents, yet how to keep our heart in the right place through them. Which is essential if you want to be a successful parent. It is good you are asking. You are going to be a great, great, great mom!

Hi H., if ther is consinquiences for her behavior, each time you take her out, eventually she will learn, I'm going to assume that this didn'[t just start at age 2 am I right, if it didn't, you have let it go on to long, so now you need to take back the control, I think sometimes whem new moms believe a certain behavior is normal, they have a tendecy to not discipline, weather or not something is normal, if it;s unecepteble then it has to be niped in the bud, the more she goes out with you, the more opertunities to teach her preoper behavior in public, and if she has a good trip, give her a little reward, it reinforces good behavior, if she doesn't behave while you are out, you have to handle it while you are out, cause at 2 by the time you get home she may not remember what she is being disciplined for. Hope this helps. J.

My kid is a runner too, although he's not yet 2. The harness has been useless for us, because he runs until he gets to the end of it and then falls flat on his face. Great.

For the shopping cart, I have to put him in the basket, not the seat. If you go to the stores that have the little kid cars, that helps too. The only other thing that works is to carry him in a baby backpack, but even then he fusses. And that probably won't be practical for you with a new little one. Honestly, I usually end up doing errands on weekends or in the evenings when my husband is home to take care of him.

Good luck!

When my first was two, I would give him the option of holding onto a strap (it's the strap from my jogging stroller, I just attach it to the cart and he can hold the other end). I would ask him in advance if he would behave himself and keep hold of the strap. He loved this because I think it gave him the independence he wanted, yet I was able to keep him close and somewhat contained. If he would not cooperate, he would have to go into the cart.
For keeping them preoccupied in the cart, a snack and some toys are helpful. I would also give them juice as a special treat - we rarely have juice so it is very exciting.
A friend of mine puts her kids to work while she is shopping. Each isle they go down, she gives them a special mission to find a certain item. I believe her daughter was only 2 when she started doing this (my 2 year old boy was not ready for this, but sometimes girls are ready for things like this earlier than boys). Now that my oldest in nearing 3-1/2, he is really good at this, but I still prefer the strap.

Mostly, I would try to take care of shopping when I could do it without kids, once the second came along. Occassional shopping trips and they do OK. But when when they have to do this regularly, there is no novelty in anything and they get difficult to handle. Sometimes I go out at night once they are in bed and my husband is home to stay with them (though, this is hard because I'm usually so tired by this time!). Or on the weekend, my husband can take care of them while I do a little shopping. Or trade with a friend, if that is an option.