Should I Feel Snubbed?

It doesn't sound to me like you're smothering her or anything. You haven't done anything out of the ordinary. I can see how you might be a little miffed about the email getting sent to everyone after her telling you she wasn't interested. I would maybe just continue to let the girls play together, since they have a lot of fun, and not expect anything else. If she brings up getting together for dinner or something, go if you feel like it.

Sounds like you're a person who likes to be social with other moms, I'm one of those moms. I have a not so social friend and I've just accepted that, we just don't see each other that often but when we do we have a good time. You can have friends with different personalities.

Perhaps she's a not-so-social introvert, like me.

I like doing things on occasion, but don't really do a LOT. My kids are out and involved, because kids should be...but I don't necessarily want to hang out all the time with the other moms.

It's noting against them at all...it's just because I prefer to just be at home with my family.

I don't know...people are busy with their lives. They have things on their minds. Perhaps you're being a bit too sensitive and reading something into this situation that just isn't there?

Sounds like you're letting one thing color your interpretation of everything now.

She may not have e-mailed you directly about the camp because she assumed you were already sending your girls since you brought it up to her.

It's entirely possible she didn't see you on campus (?) despite your height and the number of people there. I can't tell you how many times people have told me I looked directly at them and I never waved - BECAUSE I DIDN'T SEE THEM. Just because my eyes are moving around or appear to be focused on something doesn't mean I'm not lost in my own brain and not actually receiving detailed sensory information.

And I guess I don't understand the value in stopping to wave. She waved. Why the need to stop?

Some people are friendly enough, but will never be the gregarious, outgoing type others are and expect them to be. It doesn't mean anything except that's their personalities.

I think your family is super awesome and friendly. Maybe it is just a little too much scheduled time for her, too much chattiness. I know I get that way at times, I'm not a big "doer" or "chatter". I wouldn't take it personal and I would back off a little bit or not expect so much from her. It seems you are frustrated, so anytime a missed wave or something happens you are getting more upset, even though she isn't likely meaning to offend you. Not everyone stops to chat, it doesn't mean they don't like you, it just means some people are a little more introverted/busy or whatever. Just be friendly and take it easy.

*As for her camp decision, she probably thought it over and talked to her husband and girls about it. She doesn't need to report to you on why/when/how she decided to send them, or to get your okay, or to even let you know she decided to go. It really isn't any of your business anyways. I know that you would be more into sharing those details of her, but not everyone thinks that way.

I agree with Bug.

She DID include you on the email--snubbing you would have been sending it to the other moms and NOT you.

[EDIT: I didn't say that you ARE needy, only that perhaps TO HER specifically you could be coming off that way. Most people would be fine with what you're doing and not feel crowded at all but it's possible that SHE feels this way. That wasn't meant to offend you, honestly, nor was it said in a harsh manner.]

It sounds to me as if you're investing a lot into this new adult friendship, and it's very possible that you're coming off as needy and demanding of her time. I don't think you're being silly but I do think that you're over-thinking her actions and her in-actions. I think you're crowding her. I think your expectations of her are very high, and other people don't always work on our own timetables.

So she initially told you "no" on the whatever thing with the bus and then ended up signing up for it. You wanted her to e-mail you personally one-on-one but don't have that same expectation of the other parents? That's not reasonable. Especially since you don't know how they, as a family, came to change their minds. You're not entitled to that process nor to immediate personal notification.

You're making a big deal out of small non-issues and you're not giving her the benefit of the doubt. I do think you need to lighten up a bit and not take things so personally since this is a very new friendship. I also think that perhaps because your girls are all such good friends, you might be pushing this woman a little too hard to be YOUR BFF.

For now, set some boundaries for yourself and lower your expectations. I have a neighbor friend who treated me as if we knew each other our entire lives as soon as I moved to the neighborhood and frankly, I didn't like her right away. I wasn't ready to "be that close" with her. I've been here nearly 7 years and it's taken some training for her not to be so intrusive, but we're better friends for it. I needed her to learn to back off and lower her expectations on what I was "supposed" to do as a friend and what she could realistically ask of me. Of course the reverse was true as well for me.

It sounds as if this women is making effort to be friends, and that she's not snubbing you at all.

Mountain out of a molehill.

I don't see anything to take personally here, in my opinion.

Nope. I wouldn't feel snubbed. Like the other mamas said--you were included on the email. Maybe she didn't single you out to email one on one because she doesn't feel quite the "connection" you do? She may just consider you a casual acquainance and not a friend. I wouldn't let it get to ya. Maybe she just doesn't feel she has much in common with you? Whatever the case may be, I wouldn't bother dwelling on it. At least your girls are friends! :)

Silly? Not at all. I think you would like a closer relationship and that, for whatever reason, it's just not happening.

Give yourself a pat on the back for trying to understand the situation and know that there are a million reasons that this could be happening and you are only 1 of them. And while you may choose to be a little more guarded with your hopes, please don't stop contacting this Mom for the children's playdates. At another time, when other things are not interferring, it may be that you will develop a lovely relationship. Peace.

I think you're taking it too personally that she wasn't interested in the camp the kids ride the bus to. I am a SAHM and also one year did not want my girls to ride a bus back and forth each day to a camp for various reasons. My youngest was just so young (4), and the kids on the bus could be up to 16. Plus being a SAHM, I just didn't need the transportation, I'd rather just have them ride with me. A lot of parents are leery of putting their kids on a bus. I know a number of people who drive their kids to school, to and from, every single day, even in middle school, because they just don't like the idea of a bus, and what may happen to their kids on one, what they may be exposed to, etc. This is very likely just about her feelings on the bus issue, or not wanting to do that particular camp, NOT about her not wanting her daughters to do camp with yours.

On the email, I wouldn't take that as a snub either. She's probably thinking your girls will be going to the camp on the bus, and she's reaching out to see what others may be around to be at camp with her girls. A snub would be that you were left off the email all together, maybe. I actually think this woman has the right idea, because it's so good for girls to have a wide circle of friends and not get so entwined with one BFF. Maybe she's just trying to mix things up a bit so her girls get to know some other girls as well as yours.

Why don't you sign your girls up for the Brownie camp if they want to go and not read too much in to it. If it's there turn to call for a playdate, just wait for it. If the call doesn't come, just make playdate plans with different friends instead.

I wouldn't feel snubbed. She may have stuff going on that you don't know about and is distracted. I know over the years I've gone through phases of being more or less outgoing and friendly. Also some people just aren't good at reciprocating play dates and dinners, or else they just don't like to host. Or maybe they just don't like getting too "close" to other parents, who knows? People are just different. As long as you don't mind having their girls over I wouldn't worry about it too much :)

Well, it would bother me too and I probally would have asked on here.

I would resist the urge to ask her because it just gets awkward after that though I have done it a few times and had to learn the hard way.

She might be like me. She hates getting stuck making small talk and when given the chance to pretend not to see someone(even those I like), I opt out of chit chat. I really don't have a lot to say usually.

The brownie thing could be she wanted to make sure the whole troop heard about and knew someone they knew was going. I often do invite a bunch of girls we know though not every girl personally. I usually forward emails or copy the brochure and hand out to those my daughter would enjoy. You already knew about the camp so she didn't need to tell you.

I would relax. They trust you with their kids which is a huge way of saying I like and trust you. I know I scared people off by wanting to do too much too soon. I was just so happy to have someone we liked. :0-)

oh lord. you are not needy. i didn't bother reading other responses but i can tell what they were after reading your edit. so, no, i would be wondering about the same thing you are. why didn't she bother send you an email but sent it to everyone? would i say something? probably not, but maybe don't be too up front with playmates anymore. let her reach out to you for get togethers with kids.

It seems like you maybe rushing the friendship and she maybe taking her time.

Maybe she feels pressure to keep up with you. I'm not sure her financial situation, but maybe they just don't have the money to have a big dinner party? Maybe she's embarrassed to say so?

I wouldn't just yet, no for this incident, but it does sounds that you gave a lot more then what you resive.
I would think about how good my kids get along and I would decide if I am ok to keep doing as much (play dates, giving the other mom a break, parties, including her on plans, etc) for the friendship of the kids, regarding of the mom.
Perhaps, she is going through a hard time or some personal issues, we never know.

No, you shouldn't feel snubbed. It sounds like maybe you are a little more into the socialization that she is. Maybe she just wants the kids to be friends, but feels that she doesn't want to further a friendship with you. Maybe she is busy, or has personal things going on. She had a right to change her mind about the camp & I don't think she was obligated to tell you about it first. You work & she doesn't - that right there is a huge lifestyle difference & you both have different things going on. Just because you're neighbors & your kids get along, doesn't mean you should or need to force the friendship. I wouldn't take it personally - I would move on & leave the ball in her court.

Is it possible that shes driving her girls to camp instead of riding the bus. If this friendship is meant to be it will. She may be very busy taking her kids places so I wouldn't take it as snubbed. As for the dinner, maybe its just not in the budget right now and plus if its all wintery where you are, maybe she wants to do something in the summer when its warm and do a cookout. I have friends over all the time for dinner and most do not return the favor. Some people are home bodies. Let the girls still play together.

Ever see the movie:

_____ IS NOT THAT IN TO YOU?

Back off, move on. If they wanted to socialize with you and your family, it wold have already happened. You can do better things with your time.