What Do You Think of Marriage in General?

I think that marriage, to the right person, at the right time a d for the right reasons is a wonderful thing.

I also think WAY too many people focus on "getting married" and not "being married."

I also think many people get married or stay married for a lot of wrong reasons.

I think that the institution of marriage is wonderful. I think that what any individual marriage is, is a result of what the two individuals put into it. Two people can make the institution of marriage a farce, a joke, and something to be afraid of. But that is the people and what they do with it, not the institution itself. On the flip side, two people can make marriage appear to be the most beautiful thing you can imagine. Where they love and support one another, their kids, their extended family and friends, where they raise their children to be productive members of society, where they contribute to the common good, etc. But just the state of being married does not produce either.

I think marriage is wonderful and it;'s important to M....which is why i divorced my ex who cheated the entire time. I believe in the vows. I believe in the commitment. I believe in having one family home and sharing a life together, raising kids on a united front. I believe at times its insanely hard. At times you want to strangle eachother but with a lot of work it can be amazing. Also sex ithout worrying about STD's and I'm sold=)

My marriage, in general is amazing.
Perfect? Probably not even close. But, we have unconditional love for each other and we stand by each other.
Love does not resent.
To me, nothing is better than that.

Just like to add, with sounding cheesy, marriage is a very sacred thing, not even close to dating or being engaged. Its so different.

If you are married to the right person - it is THE most fantastic way to live!

The trouble is - a lot of people do not take the time to figure out what they want out of a relationship (besides sex) and they don't take the time to really get to know a prospective mate (before sex) and/or they totally kid themselves about what they think married life will be like (it isn't all rainbows, unicorns and glitter).

My husband and I are not perfect.
But we are perfect for each other.
Each of us knows all about the others warts and imperfections - and we love each other ANYWAY.

If you are married to the wrong person - marriage is going to be an utter disaster.

It's not for the faint of hearted. You have to be completely committed to each other to make it work. You have to put the needs of the other in front of your needs.

TV has made marriage into something that it is not. They focus on the getting married part of life and not the real life of being married and what it takes to maintain a marriage of two people living together. They do not mention the need for compromise, compassion, empathy understanding and caring for each other. There can be no rigidity there must be flexibility.

Everyone needs to read the vows that are spoken prior to being married and let it sink in. The real "for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, til death do us part." You really have to know yourself and your limits when it comes to these words as you will be tested several times and your inner strength maybe all that gets you through. Some people walk away from their spouses when they are diagnosed with cancer or other illnesses leaving the ill spouse to cope alone.

Bringing a child or two into the famly changes the dynamics and you learn how your life is not your own for the next 18 to 25 years depending on how many children are in the home. You owe your child 18 years of a roof over their head, food in their stomach, clothes on their backs, and a way to learn to earn to prepare them as responsible citizens. Once all the children are out of the house hopefully you and your spouse will be able to continue your lives as one. Don't forget date night throughtout your marriage so that you connect as a couple and don't forget to take time to get away as a couple without the children for a weekend or a week. It will do everyone good to recharge their personal being.

There are always exceptions to the rule but they are far and few in between.

Marriage is a practice like medicine it is always changing and evolving and it takes two committed people working on it daily to make it work.

I will be celebrating my 42 this year.

the other S.

depends on the angle from which the question is coming.
do i think i think MY marriage is the best?
yer darn tootin'. wouldn't have it any other way.
but marriage in general?
i think there's way too much hoopla about the 'sanctity of marriage.' marriage has a pretty ugly history if you actually poke about it. and i dislike how it's being wielded as a not-very-subtle weapon of discrimination in our great country today.
when i am queen, civil unions will be the norm. that takes care of all the dull legal details. people who wish to marry can do so in their house of worship, under a tree, with a clergy or spiritual guru of their choice, or by exchanging private vows with their chosen life partner.
'mawiage is that bwessed awangement. a dweam within a dweam.'
khairete
S.

The concept of marriage was God's ideal way of putting two loving people together to become one. That and the stability of a home in which to raise kids. Oh, and also for managamous sex!

Yes, I think marriage is THE best. I H and I were just bf and gf then this thing would have been over with by now! There would have been little reason to struggle to get it right. There are plenty people out there to be your bf. They come and they go.

We have raised kids, pretty much all the way. We have weathered the deaths of my parents and his F. We have weathered the storms of a mentally ill mom. We are facing old age together. That's pretty comforting.
It actually makes a whole lot of bending, worth it. How many people do you know that are bf and gf and have made it 25 yrs that way? There are those.
There are marriages that don't make it that long, either, sadly. But as a whole, yep, I believe that the institution of marriage is awesome!

Different couples expect different things from a marriage. For me it is a shared experience full of wonderful, frustrating, happy, sad, joyous, and tragic moments. My husband is the first person I want to share my triumphs with and the one I turn to when I need a shoulder to lean on. I can't imagine my life without him by my side. We are not perfect, but we are perfect together.

What a loaded question. For some people, who marry the wrong person...it's awful. For some people whose spouse doesn't stay the right person...it's awful. For many people, people who just get married, because they love someone and want to be married (When they probably shouldn't be married) it's probably overrated. The fact is, most people get and stay married for silly reasons. Oh, I love him/her!! Well, think about sharing a life with them!! Love is not enough.

1n 100% honest, I have loved being married. It has been the best experience of my life. I really do love living with my husband, sharing our life together. I love raising our son. I also really, really LIKE him. That's not to say it isn't work. Boy, is it!! However, there has never been one day that I wasn't happy I chose to marry him.

I think it's overrated to okay. If I won the lottery, I would buy my own home and date my husband, and stay over occasionally.

S.E.C.

Welcome to mamapedia! this is an interesting first question!

My marriage is great. We are both happily married. We are NOT perfect. We have disagreements and fights (not so often).

My parents have been married for 55 years. It's not perfect either - they have my dad's mom living with them and it can be wearing on a couple in their 70's to care for an aged parent (96). But they COMMUNICATE. That's what keeps them moving.

Do I think marriage is overrated? No. Not by any stretch of the imagination.

For some - I am sure marriage is awful. And only they can deal with it. People can advise on what **THEY** would do if in that situation, however, the only people involved in the marriage can change it. Both want to have it work.

Why do you ask?

I am one who should never have been married and I can't imagine getting married again. I wish I would have known or understood that NOT getting married would have been just fine and probably better for who I am. Two weeks before I was married I went away for a week and mourned not being single anymore.

I really can't say anything negative about my ex. He is a very kindhearted man and we co-parent well.

I think marriage is wonderful for those who it is important to. It is very important for most of my friends. I just don't need or want a significant other. Maybe later a partner will be fun, but completely unnecessary for me right now. My friends don't even question this about me or try to set me up. Its apparent there's nothing missing.

I think marriage as the end all, be all, for all, is flawed. There are so many ways to live and types of community. I'm traditional in the way I live - my daughter, career, friends and health my priority - though quite liberal in the way I think. Its just about being true to one's self, wants and needs. I respect my married friends tremendously and I believe they respect my choices.

I think a successful marriage is strongly dependent on the dynamics of the pair and if they want to make a life together.

I love being married. I cannot imagine myself not being married. I love being a part of a couple, loving my husband, and having a family with him. It brings a completeness to my life and most importantly, it brings a meaning to my existence. I have had a career, been single, divorced, and nothing has made me more happier than my current marriage. I hated being alone:( I'm a marrying type of gal. My marriage is not perfect by any means, but neither was being unmarried.

Marriage isn't for everyone, of course. Some are happier without being married and if it works for them, that's great:) Each one of us is different. What's right for you may not be right for me and vice versa.

I think marriage is THE best for me. But I know it's not the best for others.
It's all what you make of it.
Both parties need to be on the same page about finances, fidelity, money, children, ect. If people go into a marriage without talking about those things then they are in for a world of hurt when they find out that they are on different sides of the issue.
Weird question.

I think my marriage is wonderful. We work and play and love and strive very well together.

I know of many marriages that completely suck, though.

I think it depends on the day! Seriously, I adore my husband and really would not want to spend my life with anyone else. Having said that, there are days when I love the solidarity of having a spouse and there are days when I wish I could just circumvent him entirely and make a decision. There are days when I think marriage is an out-dated "record keeping" institution put in place to make keeping track of people and lineage easier and there are days when the idea of making a life-long commitment to build a life with one person, having made a public and legal declaration to do so is romantic!

Overall, though, I think marriage is great. I find myself feeling sorry for those who have not had the experience of having a great spouse. We bicker and disagree... tick each other off... expect too much from one another... but at the end of the day, he's my balance and my reality check.

I think most of our friends would respond similarly. Marriage is a combination of all of those things depending on the day!

Interesting question. I think marriage is THE BEST. Why? Because of my faith. My faith gives me a clearer perspective on what God intended marriage to be. It took a really long time for me to get married. Most women have been married at least once and divorced before I even got married the first time.

However some will think of marriage based one their own personal experience and/or the experiences they have seen around them.

I tend to refer back to the maker for the purpose of a thing. I hope that helps.

This is an interesting question.

I think that I was raised to believe that marriage was the only option. There was no question that everyone should hurry and get married and have babies asap. Family is central to everything here. Honestly, I don't think my parents even once mentioned college. Maybe they didn't think I could hack it, I was a bit of a problem teenager, but I sure wish that someone in my life would have glorified college as much as they did marriage-n-babies. Not that I regret marriage and kids, but I do wish I would have maybe waited a few years. I was married at 21 and had a baby by 22, I am 31 with 3 children now. My biggest regret is not going to college first. Life IS good, but my schooling is something that will need to wait till my kids are a bit older at this point.

I also see that I jumped into marriage not really knowing what it is, what it takes. I saw an idealized fairy tale version, where if someone "picked you" then everything else fell into place. I do feel like I lost myself for a long while. I think I was unprepared for reality. I would suggest anyone who is engaged to get financial counseling and premarital counseling first.

From a practical standpoint, I think marriage is very helpful. My MIL no longer struggles financially now that she is remarried. They pool their resources and now they can both afford a home, some horses, decent running cars and a few vacations each year. She has someone to fix things around the house and he has someone to cook for him. They have each others company. It is not a romantic relationship but they are good friends. I can see the sense in that.

For people who are grown up and committed and getting married for all the right reasons, I think it's wonderful that governmental and religious institutions recognize love and commitment. I think it's wonderful that people can declare their love for each other before their family and friends. And I believe this applies for all grown-up, committed, for-the-right-reasons couples: gay, straight, interracial or not, everyone.

BUT, I don't think marriage solves problems that precede marriage. Getting married doesn't make people mature or ready for childraising and adult life; it's for people who are already mature and ready for childraising and adult life.

So, I think it should be open for all and foisted for none.

I love my marriage to my husband. The ups are great and the downs make us stronger in the end. I wouldn't change it or redo any part of my life.

I have a friend who got married because he felt like he was getting too old. It didn't last long. I see him rushing to make every new girlfriend serious to see if she is wife material, it makes me sad for him.

I think if people understand that a marriage is a lot of work, but the benefits are worth it, then it's good. Too many people go into it thinking once they are married their problems will just disappear. If people can get that out of their heads, I think the divorce rate would decrease rapidly.

It's great for those who want it, but it's not the best scenario for everyone.

I've done it several times, not interested in ever doing it again.

DITTO to Victoria!!

Marriage is not overrated or awful. People go into it with the "movie version" in their head or without really knowing their partner OR themselves. ____@____.com ANYTHING usually does NOT turn out well.

I feel that a major part of our problem in society today is the ____@____.com of marriage and the raising of our children. The stability is not there and its hurting us.

People live together and say "who needs it" its just paper. What they don't realize is that ACTING like your married--living together for years and having children-- and then end comes and its just as messy, if not more so than divorce. It can get very ugly without the legal guidelines.

When you marry the right person, everything is (mostly) peachy. My husband is my best friend. We're not always in agreement, but we cherish and respect one another. I married him after careful reflection and comparing our dreams and values to make sure they were compatible.

If they were not compatible I would have said No, even if it meant breaking my own heart. Unfortunately, many people do marry just because they are 'in love' and fail to notice that there is no foundation for the relationship. Sometimes it lasts, but it takes a lot more work to dig through the rocky ground under a house and build a basement than it does to start with a sturdy basement and build up.

i don't see how anyone can say marriage is overrated. in general, i think the institution of marriage is highly underrated and underappreciated in our society. if it was held sacred then why would so many people be unwilling to make them work? i think people who feel it's overrated have probably not ever been in one where both parties were giving 100% to do it right.

which is sad to me because i have found that marriage can be a lifelong bond that enriches your life immeasurably. i believe that genetically we are programmed to find a partner and procreate. so to me that's what makes me feel most fulfilled and complete. i honestly believe that people who feel marriage "isn't for them" or "isn't necessary" just haven't gotten to the point in their lives that they are ready - which may or may not include finding the right person. there's no specific order. but i do believe that we were made for it. and i do think there is someone for everyone.

honestly, i kind of rate it up there with having children - if done right it can move mountains. if half-assed, like someone said, it's just a train wreck. then, of course someone would have a bad opinion of it.

life is a journey. we work on ourselves and grow and improve ourselves as we go through it. we also help others do the same. when two people meet up that are of the same mindset, willing to forgive, keep working, make marriage a commitment (notice i said TWO people, nobody can do the work of both) it is a magical, wondrous thing. there are just so, so many people today who aren't willing. or worse - they think they are, but have no idea what it actually takes.

Marriage is great if the people involved are committed.

I have been married for 17 years and I love it! I have a wonderful husband and we have a great relationship. That isn't the case for everyone though. Obviously, marriage isn't for everyone and that's ok. What I love is that it is more socially acceptable to be married or single, with or without children. I love that my daughters will be able to make the choice to be married or not and/or to have children or not and that whatever they choose is their choice, not what society says they *should* do. I want them to be happy whether that includes a spouse or not.

It's awesome, I guess your opinion of it depends on your spouse! It is a learning experience for sure, but then you start to figure out that it's not a job or a chore, it's life :)

My marriage is the best for me! My husband is my very best friend and knows me completely. I couldn't imagine going through life any other way. But, we've worked very hard to make a wonderful life--it didn't happen by chance or coincidence.

I love being married. I sometimes miss my single days --I lived alone for 10 years before meeting hubby--but I'm so much happier now. Hubby is my best friend and biggest challenger. I've grown so much as a person, and think the work necessary to have a good marriage is well worth it.

Great question. I haven't read your answers yet. For me, I've been happily married for over 20 years. He still makes me laugh, I still love spending time with him and he still curls my toes if you know what I mean - lol. It was very important for me to marry the RIGHT person for me and I found him. I think if you asked him, he'd say he's happily married too. We get each other. We try not to sweat the small stuff and we have fun. Marriage has exceeded my expectations because my parents were and are unhappily married and I think it would have been best for all concerned if they had parted ways a long time ago.

Having said all that, I don't think marriage is for everyone. Some people are somewhat selfish and marriage doesn't really allow for that. God is at the center of our marriage and we live our faith daily as best we can. My husband is a fantastic father and husband because he follows the guidelines that God laid out for those responsibilities. I try to follow the same guidelines provided by God for what a loving wife should be. It works for us. If he were a pig-headed dictator, I couldn't live with him. If he were selfish, I couldn't live with him. If he refused to consider talking to a professional if we hit a rough patch, I couldn't live with him. I consider myself luckier than a lot of the world's population in the marriage department.

I think it adds a level of commitment and realism to the relationship.

But at the end of the day it's just a contract. And while many of the "commitments" are the same as when in a LTR and not married - there are usually very different financial consequences between a divorce and break-up.

So are you playing this hand, or are you all in? That's the difference to me.

Marriage is a lot of work. It requires both parties involved in the marriage to give 100% of themselves to each other. There's a misconception that in marriage you only have to put in 50% and the spouse will meet you the other 50% to make 100%, but a marriage that is going to last requires both parties to put in 100% of each self 100% of the time.

In my opinion, too many marriages fail because one or both people did not sincerely mean the sacred vows they took before their friends and family and before God. Therefore, the sacred covenant of marriage is not taken as seriously anymore, and too many people say their vows because they think it's "the right thing to do" but they don't really mean what they say. I know far too many people who've gotten married for the wrong reasons, mainly the women, who felt they would never have a chance to have children if they didn't marry the man they were with, or that no one else would ever propose to them, and it ended in divorce...because they married for the wrong reasons. I also think there is a lot of pressure to be married if you're not, but that's not a good reason to get married either.

(Before I get pinned for "judging", I'm not saying that women being abused in marriage shouldn't leave, they should. My point is that the if the husband was taking his vows seriously to love and cherish her, then he wouldn't be beating or abusing her, causing her to leave.)

I think this is a great question!~

I believe marriage is great, wonderful ,fun, hard work, sometimes frustrating and has it challenges. But overall, I think its great!

I think it has become overrated. My fiance and I are happy as we are. The only benefit we see to actually getting married is that I can be on his health insurance (free of charge thanks to his company) and tax breaks. However, not having been married before I could be wrong.

Hmmmm.....how can I keep this short,simple and to point? Well..I will try.

It can be the best of times....it can be the worst of times...but having my husband to share it all with makes it worth it. We laugh,cry,and support each other through the joys and sorrows. We have a bond that I could not forge with anyone else.

I heard it said somewhere that you should keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut once married. I liked this advice...I see the wisdom in it. It is not at meaning we should keep our eyes shut to any abuses...but instead to the little annoyances that creep into a marriage and could slowly tear it down.

To me and my husband, marriage is a binding civil contract as well as a covenant made with God.

yes I believe that a man and a woman should get married. I love being married!

Marriage has been a plus for me in my life. Although, I recognize that marriage is NOT for everyone. My husband is not only good to me, he is good for me. I have been married for nearly 18 years and I would not characterize it as hard or challenging. It's been great!!!!!