What in the World Is Wrong with M.????

Take a brisk walk and eat an apple every morning. It really is a mood elevator. Easy to do, very cheap. Please try it for this week and see how you feel by Friday.

My best advice is to excercise! I get like that a lot and my weight is up as well. If I am able to go for a walk or go to the gym or do a dvd, I feel like a new person after....good luck and I hope you are not clinacally depressed. I think everyone goes through those thoughts from time to time, even the most confident!

Hi there,

I don't know you, or exactly what you are going through, but to M., you sound like you might be clinically depressed.

I say this with all empathy. About 17 years ago, around this time of year, I was diagnosed as being depressed and was really struggling. Had no idea why I was falling apart, crying a lot, feeling too 'tired' to go into work. Talking with your doctor for a referral can be helpful; your doc can do a 'screening' of questions to help steer you in the right direction and make sure this isn't another medical issue. Usually, medication and counseling are prescribed. I myself tolerated a low-dose medication fairly well and I can't say enough good things about counseling. (And let M. tell you.... it will take much longer to work through whatever is deep-down eating at you if you *don't* do the therapeutic work.)

That combination of seratonin-uptake and life circumstances can sometimes pull a doozy on us, so please consider getting some professional help. You don't have to be suffering--- and I know-- it really hurts and is horrible to be in that space.

Hugs to you and please--look into this. Once you realize what it is and get on the other side of it, you'll be glad you did.

H.

Talk, talk, talk. Find a female therapist and start talking. It will help so much to just (whatever) off your chest. Say, I hate my job, my weight sucks, etc. And just let it out. Talking is what we do as women. And often, our hubbies don't get our issues or gloss over them. So talk it out. And see if the therapist recommends a little medication. It really can help and it's NOT forever. Just remember, if it helps to make you feel better - that's all that really matters. Working and being a wife and mother is HARD!!! But you'll get back to yourself soon! Good luck.

Go see your primary care physician immediately! He/she will not think you are weird or crazy; he/she will see that you have a legitimate medical problem that needs addressing and help you find the path to healing and wellness.

If you broke your bone you wouldn't just hope it healed on its own or write in here for homeopathic methods to try and fix it. If you had cancer, you'd go see a specialist right away as opposed to just hoping that if you changed your diet or took a walk more often that the cancer would go away. No, for each of these situations you'd seek help. Unfortunately the stigma associated with emotional health issues is strong, so people are reluctant to see help.

Pick up the phone and make the call now. You'll be glad you did. You are not alone in how you are feeling, your feelings are indeed very normal, and you can recover from what you are experiencing and get back to your happy, positive self.

Don't be afraid - call!

You are most likely clinically depressed. Make an appointment with your doctor to discuss this. If you had a cough that wouldn't go away you would call the doctor. These feelings are a sickness as well that need to be treated. The only thing that will make you a bad wife/friend/mother is ignoring these symptoms. It is in your power to do something about it so please do.

Have you sought professional help yet? If not, it's time. Yes just about all of us go through highs and lows but when your lows are the level and length of yours it's time to do something about it. Go see someone, start with your primary care doctor and go from there. Good luck mama.

If you are open to trying something different; chinese acupuncture can help without having to try medication. I recommend it! i know lots of alternatives for depression since meds didn't work for M..

hang in there, i've been there too!

This happend to M. last year. I could not stop crying...at the time my daugter was 14 or 15 months old. I went to the doc. He said its VERY common at this time of year PLUS stress. He put M. on Zoloft to help M. over the hump. He said I need to releave the stress otherwise the episode could reoccur. I took the pills for about 2 months...havent been on them since because I know what the issue is and its easier for M. to coup with it.
You may want to take a couple mental days off work too...put the kids to daycare and take 2 days for yourself..one to get the junk you have in the back of your mind cleaned up (laundry, going through storage etc) and the other day...go get a massage. that will help...but if you cant, schedule an appt with your doc.
Cheer up Mama you are not alone:):)

I would talk to your doctor about this. I'm not saying that medicine will fix your problem, but it may be a start. Your doctor may also recommend something else to try to help before medicine.

Things that help pick M. up are:
Shopping (even if I don't purchase anything, I go look for that one outfit that makes M. feel amazing)
Walking, biking
A weird that that helps M. is laying in a tanning bed. I pretend I am on the beach and just relax for that 15 min.

Once I came to the conclusion that I needed professional help I went to my doctor and got placed on the lowest dosage of Zoloft and then cut that pill in half. This seemed to help M. out a ton. My husband and family noticed a change within a few days. I am now off the Zoloft and doing great.

This is a diffictult time for you and I wish you the very best. All of us Mama's know what you are going through and we are all on here to help each other out. Best of luck.

I pretend I've won the lottery. What would I do with the money first? Over a long period of time? (because doing nothing, even on a beach, gets boring after awhile). I seriously pick some unspendable number (like 500 million, or a billion) and then proceed to "spend" it on paper. Who I'd give it away to, how much would go into savings to live off the interest, things I would buy, how I'd spend my time never 'having' to work anymore, I'd still need to employ my time in some way to not go mental... it's this amazing window into my own mind and heart. Then I go and proceed to actually WORK on doing those things. I can't do them as fast as if I got a giant check, but I can at least work towards them.

That lets M. reeeeally see hopes, dreams, desires, as well as fears, needs that aren't being met, etc. that I just don't allow myself to look at on a daily basis. It's like I lose my 'muchness' during the daily routines, and misplace myself without realizing it. I'll hit massive depressions that no one is able to see except for M., but when I feel myself start to spiral, I know something is out of wack. Because I'm a VERY happy / silver lining to everything/ gallic kind of person. If I'm sad, SOMETHING is wrong.

However, you specifically asked what *I* would do, having felt completely hopeless. If you'd asked for advice as to what someone aside from M. should do, I'd say a full medical & psychological workup.

Hi M.,

I am literally just coming off a "mental" shut down. Things got overwhelming last week - not listing my probs here - but I just got to a place and stopped. I needed the time to mourn, and pity myself and turn off the thoughts, so I watched a lot of Netflix, ate some junk food, and just let myself zone out.

I gave myself instructions to "wake up" this morning and plow full steam ahead back into my life.

I feel much better for taking a break. Oh, all the probs and worries are still here, I just feel refreshed and able to deal with it all again.

Sometimes, things just pile up and we need to let it out. For some it is crying, for some it is maniacal cleaning, for some it is sleeping - we all have different coping mechanisms when things get tough.

I try to list the positives in my life every day - great kid, loving sister, roof over my head, food in the freezer, decent health...etc. I hug one of my cats and pet the dogs and say a prayer.

So, take a moment - give yourself a time out - and zone out and rest and relax - then make a list of the positives and blessings in your life...I found these in your post:
Wife
Mother
Friend
Great boss and co-workers

I see, from your post, a woman who is having a "moment" but is surrounded by caring people. That is a good thing M..

I dunno', we all have times of hopelessness, but it's important to remember that it passes - that no matter how bad the place seems, a better time is around the corner. Cliched, I know, but I have found it to be really true. If I look over the course of my life (and I am 46 so I some course!) I find that the good outweighs the bad - especially when I make myself focus on the good times. The bad times offered, in hindsight usually, a lesson and a chance for growth.

It passes - I promise.

Good Luck and God Bless

Join a gym. Count your blessings. Volunteer. Embrace life. Study the gospel and carry a prayer in your heart always.

Here are a few short (like 3 mins long) videos that are extremely motivational. There are about 40 of them and I watch every one when the mood strikes. They will leave you feeling motivated, and loved!

If, after all this and you are still having a very difficult time coping with daily stressors, then perhaps you may need to see a counselor to talk to or a Dr for a short round of low grade anti-depressants, or perhaps you are having a vitamin deficiency. Take a daily multivitamin as well:

on motherhood:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

on marriage:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

you are never alone:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

tender mercies of the Lord:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

on being hopeful of good things to come:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

on creating:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

on lifting burdens:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

on having a hard time:
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?autoplay=true&index...

Yes, I suffer from depression. I couldn't figure out what would cause M. to feel so horrible either- everything was going great in my life, but my mood in no way reflected that. I was really tired all the time, didn't feel like doing things I used to enjoy, and was irritable. I finally talked to my doctor about all this and was diagnosed w/ depression. I went on Welbutrin, and it made a BIG difference for M.. I feel much more like my old self now.
Do either of these fit you?

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/detecting-depression

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/atypical-depression

Please talk to your doctor. You don't have to continue to feel this way :)

Feel free to PM M. if you want :)

I agree with the ladies. If youre this down in the dumper, I would probably go see doc. If you are not excited about taking antidepressants, there are herbal ones. Samee works really well. How is the Vit D in your area? You could have developed The sun condition..i cant remember what the abbrev. stands for complelely but is SAD. It is when you are not getting the right amount of sun or vit D. It usually appears places that have had alot of continuous bad weather. very little sun.

Here in washington it is the most common thing to cause depression, we have so many days that are gray and nasty.

I think too, every mama questions her abilties to perform as a mom, wife and worker. You have alot going on in your life. You have to cut yourself some slack. You are juggling alot of things at once. It can get overwhelming. Take care of you first. or all the other things can be put on the back burner.

I hope you can push through this easy. You can. you are stronger then you feel right now!!

I think everyone has been where you are at one point. It can be hard to focus on what is good, sometimes for people this happens seasonally...I know I get really down, like crying jag down even if I have a few gray days in a row. I would suggest you make an appointment to talk with a doctor, it can even be just your obgyn...with your Doc's input he or she may or may not recommend a medication...if he or she does it is not the end of the world, it doesn't even necesarily mean that it is a forever thing, I have been on anti-depressants at different times in my life and even anti-anxiety medications and I am not on any medication now.
As hard as it is being a working mom try and get a regular sleep schedule, make sure you are eating a balanced diet, drink plenty of fluids, try and get out for a walk or do some low impact exercises at home. Also start keeping a journal, track your moods and what triggers them, keep track of your foods you are eating and try and list one thing you are thankful for everyday.
Sometimes we as moms neglect ourselves and it can catch up with us in unexpected ways. A few days ago I woke up ravenously hungry and could not figure out why and when I thought back it dawned on M. the day before all I had to eat was a brownie...now that surely contributed to my lack of energy and snippy-ness with the kids!
Whatever you decide to do, you are not alone, but you should take care of you! Please make an appointment.

Go outside in the sunshine as much as you can, even on your lunch breaks. Sunshine does wonders for depression and moodswings.

Hi,
DO you have a doctor that you can make an appt to go see? I think that maybe you should do that as soon as you can. While you are waiting to do that, I have a question for you? What is the thing that makes you feel the happiest? Is there a memory or a place that always makes you feel happy no matter what? See, for M. it is the beach. Not any beach, but a particular beach. I even call it my personal "therapy" when I go there. It is a beach near where I used to live a while ago, with my family when we first moved to Florida. The area is so beautiful, and the beach is gorgeous. You have to go over a couple drawbridges to get there, and I tell ya, once my car goes over the first bridge, I can just feel the difference in my body. My soul actually lifts and I can't get the stupid smile off of my face. All of my problems seem to go away being there. Just thinking about it now while I type gives M. a good feeling. When we lived there, our neighborhood was surrounded by water within a block or so on all 4 sides because we lived near one of the draw bridges. I used to go for walks around the block and there would be dolphins swimming along in the water next to M. in the canals. SO cool! At sometimes of the year there were manatees in the canal water. Then, the beach side was the gulf of Mexico water, very warm and white sand. SO relaxing and beautiful. Palm trees lined the street and the beach. This to M. is truly paradise. I would never have moved if not for the issue with my kids education. (the schools were horrible) Someday I dream of moving back there with my husband once the kids are grown, but for now, it is my little "therapy" beach and I use it as such. Everyone has something that can bring a smile to their face. A place, a friend, a memory, a song, a movie, a tv show. Something. Do you have any pets? I know that my 2 dogs always make M. feel a little better if I am feeling down. (and I have had some rough spots) Taking them for a walk or a swim is relaxing and always lightens my heart a little. Doing something for someone else is also a good lift for the spirit. Please do see your doctor, make sure that you are getting good amt. of sleep and are eating correctly, (good vitamins), and try with all of your will and heart to find that one thing that can make you smile. Even just a little. Honestly, I hope that you can find a way through the dark, and that you are able to get some help for this feeling. I understand the helpless feeling. It stinks. Good luck! We are all pulling for you!

I definitely would agree with the fitness aspect. As soon as you get moving, get sweating the endorphins flow in. Without that we all get sluggish and unhappy---which just leads to more eating and sedentary activities that make us unfulfilled ....and fatter.

get a jogging buddy(or a racing stroller, like i did), join a gym, buy a video. Figure out something you LIKE to do that also requires energy.

Hi- I would go see your doctor. However, before assuming you are depressed, make sure to rule other things out. You don't mention how old you are, but hormonal changes could be to blame as well. So DO go to the doc, but DO ask about all the possibilities. If it is depression, there is so much help out there it's wonderful. If it's something else, hopefully it can be identified and also remedied. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Many of us have been where you are. I had so much stress in my life, and lack of sleep. For M., I needed to shore myself up nutritionally (supplements really helped M. a lot) and I had therapy and family support and time for M. & hubby to help emotionally. Being physically active with things we enjoy, and good SLEEP (sleep is critical - see http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2008/07/sleep-critical-y... and http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/01/sleep-timing-of-... ) were all important. BTW - yes, I tried antidepressants as well and had a lot of problems with them including horrendous withdrawal symptoms - much much worse than symptoms I took them for to begin with. For M., the supplements worked better!)

I guess, what I am saying was a "whole person" approach worked best for M..

I suggest getting yourself physically checked out - hormones, nutrition, gut, etc. and address everything you can - physically and emotionally.

Yes, I had a period when I felt depressed and hopeless for no reason. Crying fits, weight gain, and couldn't figure out why. It turned out to be a thyroid disorder. Easy fix with thyroid medication. There are other medical reasons for that type of depression. It's worth seeing a doctor to check for physical and chemical imbalance before, or in conjunction with seeking counseling.