What to Do About the "What Should We Get Jacob for Xmas" Question?

I agree with all of the previous posters but I have a suggestion that works for me. I have 3 boys with three sides of the family buying for them each. To keep from getting duplicates I give each side of the family their own list to cut down on duplicates. I began this early on ever since I get 3 see and says as well as an obscene amount of matchbox cars. Everyone got to give each child one gift they really wanted due to being specific. That way Grandma A did not give "better" presents than Grandma B. I also ask that each set of granparents give them an outfit which also keeps down the cost of the toys they get. Hope this helps.

Good question! My younger son is turning 3 next week, plus xmas coming up, so I've been answering it a lot.

I also have an older kid, so with the benefit of experience: People come up with better ideas than I have, frequently. I work, I have kids, I spend very little time shopping. My ideas are probably boring. Part of the fun of gifts is the surprise! (HATE the idea of wish lists, at least not until the kids are quite a bit older.)

I don't like being asked to buy only one specific thing (I have lots of nieces and nephews.) I'm not a shopping service. Might be bitchy, but there it is - maybe your relatives feel the same way.

On the other hands, people who don't see the kids every day sometimes come up with things that are great but not interesting to them at all. I don't want them to waste money either. So to avoid that, and to help out, I will say something like this:

"I'm always surprised by the great things people find in the toy stores! I'm sure anything you think he would like, he will love. Lately, he's at the stage where he really likes dinosaurs and trains [substitute whatever works for you - "pushing his shopping cart around"] and imaginative play. He's not really into construction toys yet, though. We are lucky to already have a lot of Fisher Price Little People already.

I think he would like anything from the "kitchen" aisle at toys r us, or anything with dinosaurs on it. He also likes dress-up and playing ball."

At this point I usually add a couple of specific gift ideas if it's a relative. "I saw the Intellinext dinosaur, and I think he would really like it. Also, he always loves a Thomas engine, although we definitely have enough track!"

My son is now 3 and I don't have any other children coming along (single mom), so the amount of toys he now has is obscene. I like to suggest that they buy him a book that was a favorite of theirs in their childhood, or a giftcard for some books. The other idea that I prefer, especially for family, is for them to get him a U.S.Treasury Bond, savings bond, or something like that. What's great for aunts, uncles, and grandparents are the 529 programs. You can start one with as little as $25 and they can contribute when they want to. I believe that in a single year, a person can contribute up to $10,000 per child. Whatever it is that you suggest to them, realize that they do want to get something for your child and allow them that pleasure.

I have both of my son's birthdays and Christmas all within 3 mos. Everybody has been asking what to get them. I tell them clothes and pj's are always good and tell them thier size. I tell them what characters they like. When it comes close to this time of year, I always have to remind myself not to be buing things myself, and to write them down to tell the relatives. I tell them about savings bonds and thier college savings plans, but nobody goes that route.

We are always overwhelmed with gifts this time of year. I try to put a few items away for when they get bored with the old ones.

I worried about the same thing with my daughter. But I had a friend bring me back down to earth. If people are asking what your child needs or wants for a holiday or special occasion it's because they WANT to buy something and they WANT to get something that the child will play with or use. Put yourself in that position. You have a close friend or family member with an 18 month old and you really want to buy them something useful, wouldn't you rather have the parents tell you what to buy? I know I would. Once I got over it. I put a list of things we needed on the website that I put together for my daughter. I also don't think there is anything wrong with using web site "wish lists" Just make sure there is a wide variety of price points so that those who only want to spend a few $$ can still find something you've picked out. Good luck and be ready to write all those thank you cards......now if there were a one stop website for that wouldn't we all be thrilled???

If people are asking, you can always point them to a "wish list" - we have one on Amazon.com for our boy with the books that I (personally) would like for him. I usually preface my answer to the question with, "Of course you don't have to get James anything!" but if they ask me again then I tell them about the wish list.

Don't forget... people *like* buying gifts for kids.

You could always ask them for gift cards as this is what I did so when I needed something for him or wanted something spacific I wouldn't get doubles and have to go through the whole return thing........ Hope this helps

V. K.

As a gift giver to several other kids on b-days and x-mas, I would LOVE to be able to be given a list or be told to get a specific thing for the kids, whether it's a toy, clothes, or contribution to college fund or something. It takes the guess work out, and I wouldn't have to think too hard about it. AND, it saves you from having to return stuff that doesn't fit or that you don't need or want for your kids. If someone asks, just tell them what you want them to get (in various price points). Then move on to the next topic. Makes life eaiser on everyone

Look at his closet...does he needs clothes? If you want to really know what I did when they were at this age was went to Toys R Us,Wal-Mart,Target and a few other places and wrote down ideas. If someone gives him the same item just make sure you have a gift reciept to exchange it. You can also ask for savings bonds. Don't be worried about saying what to give him for what he needs or likes. Good luck with getting pregnant

T.,
Relax! People are asking you for your opinion. It is not like you are walking around shoving your xmas christmas list into uninterested faces. These people want their gift to be a good one. They are asking you for help. HELP THEM!

I wish more people would ask me that question! :-) Our family is not that big, and we live so far away from most family and friends that our son just doesn't get gifts from them. My mom, however, did just ask me what to get him for Christmas and I said, "Shoes!!" Our son isn't a fast grower, but his feet do!

Just tell the people what you want for him, that way he gets what he wants and they are satisfied.

Ah, try this with 3 or more kids! Poor Grandma and Grandpa can get overwhelmed if they are on a tight budget. I suggest that you make a list of about 5 things, some pricey, some not, for example;
Baby's second Christmas Ornament (usually under $15)
Tub toys (also under $15)
Baby's first tricycle, the plastic ones are great if you don't want him to have metal (usually $25 to $35)
24 mos. clothes (he can grow into them or you can regift to someone who needs it later)
heavy cardboard books (they can get several for under $20) a good way to start him reading and he can't damage the cardboard ones as easily as paper.
A portrait of themselves so that he can have it in his room always, and you can enjoy seeing them as well!! (an expensive gift but well worth it) Also, if you live at a distance he won't forget their faces.
All gifts are gifts of love, even the ones you don't like. Be thankful. Tuck the ones you don't away and give them away to charity next year, someone will appreciate it. =)