What to Do When You Know a Spouse Is Cheating?

I think you did the right thing. She would not be happy if she found out that you knew all along and left her in the dark. Once she is thru it she wont be mad at you anymore.

You were a good friend and you did the right thing. Hopefully she will realize this in the future.

Agree with everyone.

And here's the part that concerns me the most--- sexually based diseases and extracurricular pregnancies. Sometimes people forget about those when they decide to cheat... They think they live in some sort of bubble that protects them from all of it... Ha, NOT!

Yes, people are concerned about their feelings at first, which I understand. But I'd be thinking about those medical conditions first and foremost. Maybe it's a little selfish, but it's a life chnging experience if things turned out "positive."

I agree with the other response...he broadcasted it all over the internet so he must want her to know but just doesn't have the decency to tell her himself! You did the right thing , if it was my husband & a friend knew he was cheating I'd want to know.

Well done for being a good friend!

If you want to keep her as a friend, you did the right thing to tell her. Could you imagine if she had found out on her own eventually and discovered that you had known all along and hadn't told her? That would be much more painful for her. You were just being a true friend to be honest with her. If friends can't stick their noses in a little bit when it matters, then I'm not sure what friends are for.

Not to worry, you did the right thing. Did you really want your friend to continue to be humiliated? Publicly? Since you're her friend, of course you didn't want that! If he was any kind of decent husband, he wouldn't have wanted that either. While anger may be directed at you right now, she will eventually (if not already) realize that you had her best interests at heart and were trying to help her out of a crappy situation; his anger should be directed at himself for being such a loser that he felt it was ok to do that in the first place.
Ya done good, girl!

I would want to know, but in this case if the husband was blaring it all over Facebook, he probably wanted her to know too. Or at least if he didn't, he's just stupid.

Personally, I would have just sat her down in front of the computer, logged on to his Facebook page, and then let her come to her own conclusions. What you did worked too, but either way, I think you did the right thing...

And no, it isn't "sticking your nose where it doesn't belong" to clue a friend in to something like that. (Sounds like a quote from someone in your life?) It's called being a friend. Because, besides her pride, you may have saved her from worse down the line - AIDS, other STDs, being married to the guy when the other woman has his baby, etc. She also needs to protect herself financially, before this jerk decides in his own sweet time that he wants some 'freedom'...proof of adultery is also helpful in divorce procedings (assuming it gets that far...)

I think you were a true friend. The type who would tell a friend if she had spinach stuck in her teeth or her slip was showing - this is more extreme, but a version on the theme.

J.:

Although it hurt - you did the right thing. Put yourself in her shoes - if your spouse was cheating would you rather hear it from a friend or a stranger? What if, when you found out, that this friend knew all along and didn't tell you?

It's always hard. However, you can sleep with a clear conscience knowing you did right by your friend. yes, it hurt - but is there a time when hearing that information wouldn't hurt? Be there for her - help her get through it.

My friends didn't have to tell me - I walked in on them. What an eye-opener! Were my friends going to tell me? Yes - we lived in a VERY small community so they would have wanted me to hear it from them instead of the "rumor mill".

I eventually divorced him - but we had kids together so it was VERY complicated.

If they have kids - then she needs to decide what is HER next step. This process is NEVER easy. It's easy to forgive, however, harder for one to forget. Trust has been broken.

While one may tell her to run and sweep the bastard to the curb - she may have her reasons for staying. Don't judge, just be there for her.

I think you did a good thing by telling your friend that her husband was cheating on her. She could have ended up with serious health issues like STDs, AIDS or HERPES, Nervous Breakdown anything of that nature!!

I would have wanted my friends to tell me especially if it was true and from the sounds of it you all knew this to be a true fact. I broke up with my ex Victor a year ago because he was cheating on me.. always thought he was but never could catch him until I got his password to his computer and start reading his emails…WoW did I find out a lot about him!! and to make matters worst I started looking around in his home and found pictures of not only WOMEN but MEN he had been SLEEPING with…he’s on the “DL”…I had to get out of that relationship quick and in a hurry my health comes first!! so yes I think you did the right thing by telling your friend her husband is cheating (he’s a nasty DOG) It’s been a year since the break up with my ex and I still take an AIDs test just to make sure that my health is good!!

Good Luck!!

p.s
Don't worry J. your friends is trying to protect her marriage!!:( her husband may have fooled her now by his lies but like they say "Once a Dog ALWAYS a Dog" she'll see through him later ...just hope it's not too late!!