What to Do with a Frustrated Biter

My daughter was a big biter when she was between 15 months and 2 yrs. old. Because I am a preschool teacher, my children come to work with me. Her teachers were very patient, and "shadowed" her when they thought a situation might turn into a biting incident. I tried that at home as well. I also took one of her old teethers and tied some sting through it, which she wore around her neck at high biting time. Eventually, she would go and find it when she felt out of sorts, and put it on. The biting incidents lessened, and the "chewie" was thrown out. Good Luck!

I've never had serious biting problems with my boys (3 1/2 & 9 mos), but there were incidents with both...and I'm sure my 9 month old still has more in store for me...we'll see. :) Anyway, you have some good advice here already, but one thing that I did was flicking their cheek if they bit. It only took one time for both of them to quit it, so I was happy about that. When my little guy is doing anything to bother the older one, (ex. pulling hair, scratching) he can usually see it coming. I noticed him reprimanding him in his own way. He actually talks to him in a low voice and slowly says No No while waving his finger. It was amazing to see the little guy react too and listen...not always of course, but mostly. Anyway...hope that helps.

IM SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THIS PROBLEM. WHAT I DID TO MY KIDS WHEN THEY WENT THRU THIS STAGE IT MAY SOUND MEAN BUT IT WORKS
I USED TO BITE THEM BACK JUST A LITTLE AND THEN I WOULD SAY IF YOU BITE AGAIN I WILL BITE. THERE REALLY ISNT ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY TO YOUR 4 YR OLD EXCEPT COME TELL MOMMY IF IT HAPPENS AND YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF IT. GOOD LUCK

HI A.,
I know I may take a lot of flack for this but here goes.... When my children were at the biting stage I bit them back... not hard enough to cause a bruise or any marks but hard enough to let them know that it hurts. They got the message fast and never bit again.

I hope this helps...

Does Your Toddler Head Butt or bite?
How to curb this aggressive behavior
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By Sandra Hume
Chris Jordan couldn't help but scream when her son Miles, 1, came at her headfirst. "He got me in the nose, and, my God, did it ever hurt," says the Norfolk, CT, mom.

It may seem alarming, but head butting — like biting or tantrums — is usually just another way toddlers show frustration or anger, says Pamela High, M.D., professor of pediatrics at Brown Medical School, in Providence. Other times it's the result of roughhousing gone too far.

Kids tend to stop butting once they start speaking and can get your attention with their words instead of by force. Until then, to curb your headstrong child:

Don't laugh, no matter how funny your kid can look charging headfirst; you'll only encourage him. Instead, let him know that it hurts by saying "No, that is not allowed" very firmly whenever he does it. Then, focus on consoling the buttee so your child realizes his action won't grab your attention.

Distract him. Direct his attention somewhere else.

Help him communicate in other ways. When Miles would head-butt, Jordan made an obvious show of trying to figure out what it was that he wanted. "If he was near the fridge, I'd hold up different foods until he stopped. That helped."

Banish bad influences. TV and siblings' video games can be rife with violence, so make sure the entertainment in your toddler's line of vision is age appropriate. Also, avoid physical punishment, which only teaches him that aggression's an acceptable way to handle a problem.

Parenting, October 2006

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