3 And a Half Not Sleeping in His Own Bed Yet.

A quick suggestion: try reading "Sleepless in America" -- it might give you more advice. It's a great read!

I agree with Teri's response. Every family is different I know, so what works for some might not work for others. We've always co-slept with our babies. So when one of the older ones comes in our room in the middle of the night we don't care. We just snuggle with them and go back to sleep. We currently have a 4 1/2 month old who sleeps with us. That's just what we do do. We have 3 girls all of whom slept with us and the two older girls now have their own room. Every so often the 3 year old will come in our room at night and sleep on the floor. We don't find it to be a big deal. I don't think it's abnormal for your son to not want to sleep in a room alone. He's only 3 1/2. He won't do it forever. I've said this before, why should we expect babies and small children to sleep in a room alone when we (mom and dad) get to sleep together?

hi N.....
let me know if you have any luck with that. :) but until then, besides letting him cry it out, which i think is awful and won't do, here is just an idea. My sister did this with her boys when they were very young. they also found thier way to her bed. So start him out in his bed, and when he wakes up to find you, have a lil matress or something on the floor in yer room, right next to yer side of the bed. this way he still gets to be with you, but you still get to be with hubby. just an idea, i know it doesn't really solve the problem, but i have had no luck with my kids sleeping on their own yet either. GL and God Bless

A couple of things might help.

Does he have a favorite stuffed animal? My older daughter (5 yo) has 2 "buddies" (purple teddy bears) that she sleeps with. She still likes me to "snuggle in bed" with her for a few minutes until she gets settled, and then she's okay. She also knows that shortly after she goes to sleep or when she's nearly asleep, my husband will bring our 2 yo in to put in her crib (when she falls asleep).

Do you have a night-light in the room? Or does he have a flash-light? In my daughters room we have a humidifier that has a nightlight that shines up through the tank. I think they're sunbeam brand, and we found them at Walgreen's (Walgreen's has a "private label" version of it too). It's a blue light that's bright enough to see the room, but not so bright that it will keep you up. Not to mention the sound of the humidifier is a bit calming like "white noise" and should help him sleep too.

For what it's worth, and good luck!

Well, I don't have any easy solutions but just a recommendation, you have to leave him while he's awake. Do your normal "comfort" things and let him know it's bedtime. You can sit in his room if it's easier, without looking at him or talking to him, all the while placing him back in bed if he gets out. This will stop, eventually and he will sleep through the night. Good luck and be persistent - it will pay off!

Tough love, put him to bed, turn on the night light, put on some soft, soothing music, give him a final hug and kiss, walk out of the room and shut the door. If he gets up put him firmly back in his bed, no kiss, no hug, tell him firmly he is to go to bed now. Hand him a favorite cuddle toy, walk out of the room and again close the door. If he gets up again two swats on the butt and back to bed. He will learn to stay there. If he gets up in the middle of the night, give him a hug, a kiss, ask why he is up. Then put him back to bed. Do not lay down with him. It will take a few nights but he will get the message.

As a parent, you have to remember that kids will only do what they can get away with. If you wouldn't allow him to disrupt bedtime or to crawl in bed with you/you with him, then he would stop doing it. I think it's too easy as a parent to take the easy way out, instead of really deciding that you are not going to allow things to continue. When you put him in bed, say your goodnights and walk out. If he gets up, walk in, put him back and walk back out. Don't even make eye contact with him. He's going to do this for possibly an hour or more since before this time, it's gotten him positive attention. He has to be retaught what the consequences are whenever there's a change in them. Every single time you notice he's gotten out of bed, go in and put him back in. If he clings to you, peel him off, put him in bed, and walk back out. In the middle of the night, do the same thing if he comes to you. If he hasn't come to you, let him cry for a bit and see if he'll fall back asleep in his own. I would recommend doing this on a Friday night to start, that way noone's losing sleep before work. My son went through a period where he was getting up and playing after I laid him down for a nap. I literally laid down on the floor outside his door so I could watch him through the crack at the bottom of the door, and everytime he started putting his feet down, I walked in, laid him down, and walked back out. He continued to try and get down for almost an hour before he finally fell asleep. The next day, he tried for about 30 minutes or so, but by the 4th day, he was staying in bed. You just have to reteach him what proper bedtime procedure is.

I don't have any advice from personal experience, and so I would advise you listen to those who do, but I do have a friend who used a technique she saw on TV and sang its praises, so I thought I would pass that along to you.

My friend made up a bed panel on the floor of her child's room, and slept in the room. Then, ever night, she moved the bed a couple of feet further from her child's bed, while assuring her child she was right there, just like the night before. Pretty soon, she was sleeping in the hallway, and from there, she was able to move back into her own bed. I hope this helps you! Good luck!

I agree with Traci. We co-slept with my first daughter and do with my second daughter. My 2 1/2 year old will often climb into bed with us in the middle of the night. I don't see a problem with it. She snuggles up to her daddy and falls right back asleep. Most of the time we don't even know she's in bed with us until morning. It's not a big deal and I know she won't do it forever.
If you are really against co-sleeping, and I know it's not for everyone, you can try the SuperNanny technique of putting them back in bed with no eye contact or talking until they stay in bed. Beware..I've seen it take several hours on the show and it appears to be terribly heart wrenching. Good luck! :)