Dont like My BIL GF

You're not alone. I have ill feelings for an in-law, and those feelings are reciprocated. And it has been discussed at length by both of us and we have agreed to tolerate each other at family functions.
Good Luck

I didn't like my brother's girlfriend and I still don't like her as my SIL. I'm pretty sure it's mutual. So I act polite but don't pretend to be BFFs or create drama.

I already have my fair share of people that I KNOW that I have to tolerate. Can you imagine how miserable I would be if I starting disliking someone for no reason?
Give her a chance, and if you still dont like her, who cares, shes not your girlfriend, you dont have to deal with it.
Just smile, be friendly, and dont let her bother you.

My brother has been married 5 times.

I disliked his #3 wife intensely. I was really too young to even remember #1, #2 tried really really hard to be friends with me. She was cool and knew all about hair driers, conditioners, cool clothes, and she had a daughter only 4-5 years younger than me. My brother adopted this step daughter and was raising her as his own. They had a daughter together but ended up divorcing later due to #3.

#4 was a sweet woman that was an adorable woman. She was more progressive in her lifestyle, she worked full time and enjoyed having her own money, liked nicer things, did computers, wanted to update his house, driver nicer cars, etc....she was a good person but he was more of a 40's 50's kind of hubby.

#5 was an awesome woman too. She was raising an adult child with developmental disabilities. You know how it is with a person living in your home that is perpetually a teenager. This young woman was like that. She worked at a job and mom had to transport her every day, she took her to and from the sheltered workshop if she didn't work on any day, she spent her time caring for her child in proper ways. The only disagreement that I ever had with this woman was about sheltered/supported living or group home living.

I felt her daughter would thrive in a living situation where she could have more independence. Where she could make friends and have her own space. Be able to make more choices for herself. This would also free up my sil's time more. PLUS the big one, her daughter had a crush on my brother.

So they divorced, the mom is getting her disability/social security because she is over the age to receive it, her daughter gets her own disability, they live in the daughters home she owns now through an inheritance, and she and my brother see each other several nights of the week. They are still together mentally and do spend time together but are just better off not married due to the special needs of this adult child.

So back to #3. I can tell you that she was mean to my nieces, she set things up several times where the adopted daughter was found to have a gun in her weekend luggage, she told everyone that the adopted daughter had threatened her life and she was afraid of her. So we all truly believe she put that gun in the girls luggage. She wasn't even 10 years old and didn't have access to any guns. Her mom didn't even own one.

She manipulated my brother into terminating visitation with this adopted daughter. She was miserable. For over 5 years she had a daddy that doted on her and spent every possible minute with both his daughters. To this day he has nothing to do with her, she and I are FB friends and have messaged back and forth whole pages of letters in the past few years. She felt so alone and abandoned. She fell in love with her new daddy with the promise of him being her daddy for the rest of his and her life. He dropped her like a hot potato for this woman he married.

I felt so much anger towards #3 through this whole thing, I know how many times my #2 sil would call my mom and just cry and wonder what she should do about her daughters. One was getting to go see her daddy and the other one was basically abandoned. She knew the pain her children were going through.

So I hated #3 and wished she would go away. She had her own children and they didn't even get to live with her, #3's parents had custody of them. That should have told my brother what kind of parent she was.

Yes, it happens. Your subconscious brain might be picking up signals that your conscious brain is not recognizing and processing for you to recognize. I remember a college professor saying one time that our bodies tell us so much information.

Richard said that if we are around someone and are feeling the "Heebie Jeebie's" then there is probably something wrong with the person we are around. Our subconscious mind picks up cues that we don't always see, the body language, the subtle language styles, things that are way too complicated for the normal person without training to recognize these signs.

I suggest you just try to figure out what she is doing that is making you feel this way. Sometimes we meet people we instantly hate intensely. Then there are the people who we feel an instant connection with the moment we meet them.

I believe that we were in heaven before we came here and that we do know some people from before. We recognize them in a spiritual way when we meet them. Have you ever met someone and knew instantly you would always be best friends? Then it happened?

This is what I mean. I have felt that way about a few people when I walked in the room and met them the very first time. Then I have also felt that deep dislike for a few too.

I don't really like my BIL, does that count?

I dearly love my DIL....her parents are a totally different story.

Her dad is abusive, immature, druggie, was clean for 13 yrs and started using again. Currently living with friends because he can't and has never been able to hold a job. His GF is a hot mess druggie, CPS took her kids and she gives parenting advice to my DIL. Also can't hold a job.

Her Mom is on her 3rd marriage at about 41 yrs old. She has had a few relationships between marriages. All have been abusive. She too is a hot mess, and she's a teacher. She just got married, 3rd time, in September, and he's hitting her. They moved out of state for jobs but want to come back for Thanksgiving.

My son and DIL have a nice apartment but not big enough to host a dinner. So I may end up hosting this entire messed up family along with my family for Thanksgiving. What to do? Take deep breaths and smile. I remember that I love my son and dil and grandson and no matter what unless we all move to a colony on the moon I am going to have to deal with them on occasion. I also realize that deep down they are not bad people. They are substance abusers and make huge bad decisions and they all need counseling. I can't make them make the changes they need to make. I can only show them that there is a better way.

my SIL tried to be everyone's friend before she married my brother. I think I actually saw her more in the few months before they married than I have in the last 30 years of their marriage. She has never liked our side of the family and I think it is because of her mom. I cannot stand her mom! My SIL has succeeded in getting my brother to not call my dad on Father's Day or his birthday. My SIL is actually telling her children that my parents love other grandchildren more than them. BTW, my parents are hurt because they don't get to see these children. Anyway, to answer your question, yes, about my brothers MIL.

You don't have to like her. Everyone can't like everyone. But you better be polite.

Could you be more specific and add a story? What precisely do you not like about her?

Her personality? Her morals? Her behaviors? Attitudes? Beliefs? Habits?

Personally, I can not stand to be around my SIL. She's honestly alien to me in everything she thinks and does.

I thought it was just me!!!! And like you, there is just something about her that I just don't like. She's weird in one way, seems sneaky in another. LOL

My BIL, who never had a girlfriend, married a girl four months after meeting her. I didn't like her when I first met her, not sure why, just a feeling, and now, 14 years later, she's still don't care for her. We're polite to each other, though. She rarely comes to family events (skipped her FIL's funeral), and when she does come, it's all about her talking about herself until she walks out the door. I feel bad that her kids don't know their cousins or aunts/uncles (on the husband's side) very well, but she really favors her family and the woman typically plans the family schedule, so that's how it's going to be. I do feel bad that she's come between my husband and his brother. The three of us were really close until she came into his life. At least they don't live near by.

You don't know what it is...but you just don't like her.
Fine.
Every family seems to have SOMEONE they don't particularly like.

It's not the end of the world.
Be as courteous as you would be to a co-worker you don't necessarily like but are stuck with. You don't have to LIKE everyone, you just have to get along with them.

The woman is a girlfriend. She may be a passing fancy for your brother-in-law. She may become his wife. Either way, it's not really any of your business, especially since you aren't even sure why you don't like her.

You might actually like her if you get to know her. If you get to know her and still don't like her, you're not the one sleeping with her.

Just my opinion.

Why do you not like her? Did she do something to make you feel this way? Sounds to me like you might be the one with a problem. This is your brother in laws girlfriend? Why would this even be your buisness. Unless this person has done something to give you a reason to dislike her than it sounds like you may just be a hard person to get along with. Just my opinion.