I'm sorry you took her criticism to be all negative.
My wife looked like she was in the 7th grade when she was in high school. Now she looks like she is in her 30's when she is in her 50's. Some women would say that's a good thing.
I grew a moustache when I graduated high school so it wouldn't look like I was in Jr High when I went to get a job to support my going to college.
As far as your son's friend goes, she is probably under the impression that girls have long hair and boys have short hair. Girls wear ear rings and boys and men don't. She probably longs for the "good old days" when this was true (50 to 60 years ago).
Yes, my parents were like this, that is, thinking boys should have short hair and no earrings. They praised what they thought was praiseworthy and criticed what they didn't like. That is like most people I know, and especially the moms and dads on this site.
I hope you love your mom enough to get close to her and not be more critical of her than she was when she was giving you her opinion. Sounds like you and your mom are cut from the same cloth, except you are critisizing her and she was critisizing you son's friend and admiring your daughter's youthfulness.
My glass is half full. How full is your glass?
Good luck to you and yours.