Should I Have Said Something?

It's such an awkward situation to be in, isn't it? Especially in public and around strangers. Some moms get pretty heated if you correct their kids. My feeling is different on that, within reason. If I take my kid out somewhere to play and I don't keep them within my direct line of vision and another parent sees them doing something inappropriate and corrects them, that's fine. If I have a problem with it, maybe I should have had my eye on them better. Having said that, most parents don't have that outlook.

Next time, I would just address the little girl they were mean to. Say, "It looked like those girls were being mean to you, and I am sorry they were like that. Let me introduce you to my daughter, so maybe next time you are both here you will have a playmate." Just validating her will make her feel tons better, and knowing there is someone there she knows will make her feel better about next time, too.

I think what you did got the point across. But I can completely understand how you feel. Poor baby (not really a baby but still).

My daughter asked me last night, "Mom, do you care about all children?" And I told her "Of course I do!"

We all do. Its hard to stand back and watch that happen. Fortunately it worked itself out. It usually does. She will probably go home and tell her mom about it, and her mom will tell her what to do. Hopefully.

I think just the fact that they knew you knew made them know they can do better, you know? LOL

Your presence let them know they were caught in the act. You did fine. You could have told the 3rd girl. "I am sorry those girls hurt your feelings, they know that I saw the whole thing."

Breaks my heart. Poor little girl.

J., you did fine. What is GREAT is that you intervened and those "bad girls" KNEW the jig was up. You pay attention to them and make sure they never pull that stunt again. Girl number 3 will do alright.

If they get sneaky by whispering stuff, go over to them and tell them to apologize. If they act like they don't know what you're talking about, ignore them and demand the apology again. THEN tell girl number 3 in front of them to loudly tell the girls to leave her alone if they are ugly to her. It empowers her and embarrasses them. Doing this will help prevent these girls from becoming bullies as they get older.

I'll bet you get moms here saying to leave it alone, but I believe that leaving this stuff alone just helps make more bullies.

Dawn

I think you did fine. I probably would have said something like (to the two girls): "Is everyone sharing the equipment and being nice to one another?" I have done that before.

Parents should be more like you. You handled it correctly. When any of us see this we should intervene tactfully.

"Which one is your daughter" they asked? I would have pointed to the 3rd little girl and walked away.

This is one of those hindsight cases. It's so awkward and moment-sensitive. If the moment passes, you can't go back without real awkwardness. Anyway, I think that you did fine by showing that an adult was PRESENT. Sometimes that's all it takes. Hopefully, their takeaway was that an adult can pop up at any time, even when they've looked both ways first.

In the future, maybe you'll feel better but still out of the mix if you just say something like, "I certainly hope that everyone is playing nice today." You can call it out to the sky. What'll happen is that you'll get everyone's attention--parents look over to see what their kids are doing; any kid trying to be sneaky becomes aware of at least one adult nearby; parents have no reason to complain that you are coming down on their kids. By the time you walk away, maybe you've made a difference, and you didn't have to ruffle any feathers.

Stinkers. Girls can be so mean.

I think you did the right thing. THe 3rd little girl may have been way embarrassed if you had said anything to her But the stinkers knew exactly what they did was wrong and they were caught.

All it takes for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.

Good luck to you and yours.

I probably would have asked her while she was sittin there puttin her shoes back on, then I would have reassured her so she could leave with a bit of wisdom on her belt. You did kinda missed an opp to do that.
But you wont next time ;)
Don't feel bad. We cant fix everything every day, we can only do what we can do when we can do it.
Besides, you might have been reading the body language wrong anyway. Sort of like sitting in the salon getting a pedicure listening to Asians laugh and talk and always wondering if they are talking about you.... and I'm sure they arent.

Well, I'm one that believes that it takes a village to raise a child. Those little girls probably wouldn't have acted that way had their mom or dad been present, especially when they asked which child was yours. They knew that what they were doing wasn't nice.

I would have said something to the other little girl. Who knows if she would mention that incident to her own parents or if she would just keep it to herself and stay sad about it. I probably would have said, " I saw those other girls talking to you and it didn't look very nice, " asked her if she wanted to talk about it. If she said no, I would have told her that I thought she made a good choice by walking away.

Kids can be mean.

Hi J.,

I think you did the right thing by not saying anything. From my experience, most moms don't want other parents saying anything to their kids. If anything, you could have asked the first two where their mothers were and told them that you thought their daughters were being mean. It's unfortunate, but girls that age can be quite mean and cliquish. My daughter is 9 and she has learned that if certain kids don't want to play with her, to just move on and find someone else.

You could have said something like 'sweetie you look so pretty with that --- on'. That way you are intervening and letting her leave with a good memory. It's so hard because we don't want to hover but bullying should never be allowed.