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Honestly, I think some of that is normal. My kids are 3yrs and 9mos. We are so busy with them that we never have time for romance, sex, etc. I have to remind my husband that he may be coming home from work, but I have been working all day too. I think it is a hard concept for them to grasp sometimes. They just see it as getting to stay home. You should get a sitter and make dinner reservations somewhere as a suprise. Being spontaneous is always romantic. She if you guys can reconnect when you are alone!

G.- I used to be there too. I dont know if you're a reader...but pick up a copy of "Love and Respect" by Dr. Emmerson. It helped my husband and I realize that we were stuck in the crazy cycle...I didnt respect him so he didnt show me love which made me disrespect him more, etc., etc,etc. It's worth a read. :) Hope everything works out...

Isn't it amazing how relationships ebb and flow. Have you tried starting your day with positive affirmations? It's amazing how when you rattle off all the things you are greatful for in your partner, it changes your outlook. Try affirming what you'd like to see out your relationship.

Your hubby may be busy with schhol right now, but what it the long term goal of your family and him working hard right now. Sometimes it's so hard because we are in the "now" and forget the long term goal.

I am just going to put this out there.....if you had an opportunity to work in th US, would you like to? I work for an international company, we are in 20 countries. I mostly work with SAHM and I am looking to grow internationally and I am interested on bringing people to my team who are bilingual. Please call me if you'd like more information. ###-###-####
L.

G. - I am sorry to hear of what you are going through. You say you want the man you fell in love with back. You have probably never lost him, in all honesty, it sounds like you have lost yourself. As women, we have a tendency to put everyone and everything before ourselves. You are looking for someone or something to complete you, when in all honesty only you can complete yourself and find true happiness. It sounds as if your husband still finds time to do the things he enjoys in life, such as going to school and playing golf. I think it would be beneficial to both yourself and your marriage if you found the time to do the things in life you used to enjoy or still do, but never take the time to do them. A lot of women feel selfish if they do things for themselves, but in all honesty, we all are better mothers, wives, and friends if we take time for ourselves every day! I know exactly where you are at, because I was there at one time as well. I finally realized that I needed to care more about myself and in turn it made me a better person! I have a saying that I remind myself of when I am feeling down and hopefully it will help in your situation as well, "the only way to become a complete person is to complete yourself!" Good Luck!

I highly suggest you read a book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." This book has saved marriages and it might save yours too. YOU have the power! hee hee!

Have you thought about joining one of the play groups from Mama Source? or create one in your area if there's not one? It's amazing what having other adults around can do for your mental stability!

Also, as Dr. Laura says, you CAN lose weight. You just have to eat less & move more. I'd suggest her website to you too. She's got a section called Eat Less Move More that makes losing the weight seem more attainable.

Good luck!

G.,
this is a working situation for You:
I wish you to be strong, and first of all,
LOVING of all of your family members,
including YOURSELF :)!
I'm not kidding!
Think what are your far-launched goals, as a family,
and see what is EACH team-member's task,
if you want this to work out as a HAPPY FAMILY
for a very longterm-lifetime span!

Allow me please to share 2 examples with you,
based on my life experience.

1.
Master's degree requires a HUGE amount of time and energy.
My father, 72 now, is an emeritus professor in Geometry, who works a lot, writes books, and is invited to the conferences and symposiums all over the Europe every year: he is a very active and busy scientist, no matter his age.
SO, as you see, I grew up in the scientists' family:
my mother was a math teacher in the University, and they had two kids: me and my elder brother.
NOW, the important info for you is to know about our family
of our childhood time, that at the point of my father's writing his dissertation,
my mother dedicated all her time and energy
that she ever could,
on supporting my father.
He wouldn't have made it, if it were not for her: she cooked, did laundry, cleaned, cared for the home and kids, + worked herself, and taught us to respect our father's thinking time:
I was little, and I wanted to talk to my dad, and cuddle up, and I peeked into the room, and mom stopped me immediately: "Honey, dad is working, please do not interrupt" but I said: "Mom, he is not working, he is laying on his couch!" Mom asked, nicely and lovingly hugging me: "Are his eyes open or closed?" I say: "Open!" "Well, - explained my mom, - then he is THINKING! We need to respect his time." I learned it well.
There were times, when dad was not thinking, and we went for a long ride, with a campfire, and tents, and having a great time together as a family. But when dad was working, his door was often closed, and we were talking quietly in another room.
My mom did not become a professor, although with her 'brain', she could have: it was her choice, to have a family, and to have a happy successful husband. She succeeded in all what she set up as her goal. It was definitely a dedication, and a sacrifice, but she knew well what she wanted, and how to make it work. Once my dad got his degree, the family income changed, of course, and traveling abroad became also possible...

Now, another example:
my 3 kids are 25, 23, 17. (I am 47).
Boys were born, when I was still a student, and I decided, that their health and happy smiles are more important than my education. I did not graduate at that time, but raised my happy kids, and never ever regret that I made this decision.
Later, when they did not take ALL MY TIME, I got my diploma,
having millions of experiences before I achieved my learning goal, but now I have 3 most amazing FRIENDS, who also happen to be my children :). Yet, my educational story did not end there.
I am a teacher (ESL) who could teach in Washington state, and I did it, because they had no problems with my Soviet era documents,
but I cannot do it in Montana unless I get a teacher's certificate 'issued' in Montana State.
As I plan to stay in this wonderful state,
I had to go study again.
Now, I major in English Literature teaching, graduating next year. My sons are in SF: adults, successful and very kind people, my girl (17) graduates next year from high school, and I take time for being with her - we are really friends, with no generation gap problems whatsoever.
Yet, I study and work: it takes a LOT of my time, if not to say ALL of it.
Here is my message to you: if it were not for my most caring loving understanding husband, I would have never made it so far, and to graduation. He works, earning more than I do, he cooks, he constantly smiles, and spoils me happy by even caring to prepare my lunch and make sure I won't forget it home, because my head is most of the time in books and essays that I need to write. I tell you honestly, I would have never done this university study since 2005, if it were not for my Lee's love and understanding!!!

Now, on the long run, I will earn more than he does now - a finish carpenter that he is, and I will not be SO overwhelmed, having just only a job, not like now: 12 credits in college, and full time job... and, my girl is getting ready to fly out of the house, also, and, we are in our 40ies, so in the long run, I say, joking, that I am a good investment for my husband, but you know, G., in reality it is not about calculating: it is about LOVE and CARE!

G., I reread your message very carefully, and I feel that you have frustrations, and it is not always a happy time to see your dear husband so busy and/or tired. It is a working situation, as I say. He has a goal, he is pursuing it, and he does need his back covered so to say, which is his family and YOU in it. As he will be done with the degree, the schedule will change, and the income will change, and there will be different options opening also, and he will be able to contribute more time, care (as not so tired = mental work takes A LOT of energy, I tell you, and you know it full well, too), and financial support for all of you to be happier, help your daughters to get on their track once they grow up...
G., THINK BIG,
think about you all as a Family,
and the roles of each of you in life:
each as a person with own desires, goals, and talents,
and as a member of the team, who love and help each other.

I'd say, your husband is on the front line right now,
you being a supportive part of the team.
I believe, You need to communicate to him your sadness, frustration and wishes, reminding him with love, how and what you do to support him, and asking for some understanding of your problems that you face. You can definitely find a solution, but I am very happy for your family: it is a hard path in many senses, a busy life, but you will have some harvest, definitely!!! If he is not a selfish egotistic guy, which he is not, according to the info in your message, he will try to be more attentive also, but please do not hope that he will be less tired, or MUCH more helpful with household and your girls... let him get through this part of life, and see how things will change then!

Two more notes:
a)
Golf. My husband is one of the very best billiards' players. To be more with him, I joined in as a cheerleader :). I go watch his tournaments,and I know all his friends and other poolplayers, we discuss the shots, I bought him a pooltable so he plays a lot at home also: in other words, I joined in.
You cannot take the hobby away, it is a joy.
it is hard for you to pursue your own hobbies, while your girls are still little, but think what you can do together with your little friends: take a walk into the woods, go biking very slowly, with a little one on her tricycle or in the backseat of the kids' bike-chair, and a smaller girl tied up to your back in that bag :); draw, read, play legos, puzzles, exercise together, adjusting the exercise by the age and girls' abilities - tons of interesting things - and
also, you can even do photography together, buying your 3 years' old girl a little cheapest camera: you need to be busy in a happy way, and this is a creative approach to life, which you need to find out on your own, based on your own interests and things that excite you.

You know, sometimes happiness HAPPENS,
and sometimes we need to CREATE happiness:
you are in charge of creating happy life for yourself,
your girls, your family.
You have the key: find it!!!
It is a responsibility, and it is also exciting:
to consciously create happiness.
Think of it as you are a sorceress, who has this magic wand, and you need to start every single morning
with this task of
"What is there around to have a cause to smile???
If I do not see anything worth smiling right now,
what is it here that I CAN CREATE to be worth smiling,
for myself, my girls, my husband???"
This is your EVERYDAY task, G.,
and some days it will be easier,
and some days it will be even a hardship;
at times you will also fail,
yet you cannot give up: you are in charge,
this is YOUR responsibility:
do not please start by thinking
what your husband could do better,
but start with your own self,
and see how then your husband will start adjusting
to your increasing amount of smiles.
If he comes home and you tell him several happy stories
about what happened during the day with you and girls,
he will be more excited to communicate with you,
and maybe more often to join into your activities also.
But, if he comes home and you will start whining and accusing him of not being home and caring enough, he, like a little boy, will seek how to escape this 'trouble',
he will try to escape the conversation,
listening to you, and even being around more...
You are in charge, remember,
and use the option wisely, now :) !

b)
If you miss working, in the States,
there is another lawful option:
you can volunteer. I volunteered, helping in kindergartens,
in private schools, teaching there ESL and caring for kids,
and telling everybody around
that if anybody needs help with ESL,
I am available, for free, to help whoever needs it.
For a year, I worked,
volunteering for the
"America Reads*America Counts Program",
where tutors help in public schools,
providing extra time for students who are not doing very well with reading, writing, and counting.
A very helpful program, although I saw each student assigned to me :), only 2 hours a week.
One girl was from India, 3rd grader, and by the end of the year, she was not in the list of not succeeding girls anymore, another girl from the 5th grade, with dyslexia, sent her short story for a competition, and won a prize from Washington DC, this was their huge success, and a little bit of mine, also :).
Meanwhile, when I just came to the States, I worked as an assembly worker for Microsoft, a carpet cleaner, and a stocker in WalMart: no mater my Bachelor's diploma, life can take turns, and make you do lots of things you could not even imagine,
but the important thing is to have a SMILE, NO MATTER WHAT,
as this helps you through, and helps you to attain any goals, that you set up for yourself or that choose you to strive for!
!!!
G., wishing you a gooDay, nicEve
with lots of rainbowing smiles!

Keep your family, you are a KEEPER,
and work on making you all, with you in the front row,
HAPPY !!!
I wish you Good luck, lots of energy, and caring loving understanding to you!

I am a Spanish/English teacher and SAHM too! You are not alone. Having small children and marriage takes it's toll on a relationship. You can't control your husband's behavior, but you can control yours. First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself. Seek out other moms that you can do playgroups with, babysitting trades, and moms night out. Eat a healthy diet (no white flour, low carb[sugar], low sodium, no high fructose corn syrup, low bad fats, & lots of fruits, vegies, & water). Get some exercise (walk at least 10-15 min every day or 30-45 min 3x a week). Find something that will feed your soul. I read in the bathtub each night. Sometimes I paint. In order to properly take care of your children, your husband, your marriage, and your family --- you need to take care of you. Why would you tell your husband you want to leave him??? Of course that hurts him. There are better ways to communicate. You guys need to get a babysitter and get some couple time. Talk with one another how you are feeling. Do it honestly but w/o judgement. Listen to one another. He does need to help out more. You need to find a more diplomatic way of asking him. In the morning, if you can, take a shower. Do your hair, put on make-up, and get dressed in nice clothes. This will help make you feel better. Make your bed. Get out of the house. Vitamin D/sunshine will help your depression. Take your kids for a walk, go to the park, go to the library, etc. Open the windows & curtains in your house. Rearrange the furniture. Play upbeat music. Stop expecting your husband to be the man you fell in love with. You are not the same person you were when you met. You guys were in high school for goodness sake. Of course you two changed. You grew up. Focus on his good qualities. Try and downplay his vices. Do the same for yourself. Set some small goals for yourself. Make a short to-do list so you can feel a sense of accomplishment. Turn off the tv. Change your attitude. Read books that will help you do that. People will see you as you see yourself. If your husband won't get counseling --- get counseling for yourself. Who in your life has been supportive and made you feel good about yourself? Call that person! Go visit that person! Get involved in something you can be passionate about. I've gotten involved in politics, volunteered for good causes, substitute taught, etc. You're in a rut. But you can get out. Don't be a victim. Take control of your life. I understand what you're going through. I know things will get better for you. You already have good things in your life. You are married to your hs sweetheart, you have two healthy children, you and your husband are educated and things are going to work out. You are a great person with two admiral occupations --- teaching and parenting. Things are tough now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Like the little blue engine... I think you can, I think you can, I think you can... :)

Dearest G., You are not alone in your feelings of sadness and hopelessness but there are choices you must make, especially if you want to save your marriage. Your commitment to your marriage is NOT a waste of time and your marriage can be better than ever. It's not about falling in and out of love. It's about committing to love, no matter what valley you inter into. We ALL have rough spots in our marriages! That's all that this is. I've been married 17 years and I'm still learning how to be happy, content and how to be the wife my husband needs. When I am, he almost instantly becomes the husband I need! I promise you, I'm no doormat. I have learned the gifts of womanhood, though, and I'm grateful to be one.

Go to NoGreaterJoy.com and order the book Created to Be His Helpmeet - Today. Give it a full read, don't just toss different ideas away. And don't be scared away from this conservative website! Her book is practical, humorous and direct. I'm not sorry I finally started reading it, nor is my daughter who has been married only three years (yep, there's a story in there!). A joyful and fulfilling marriage is waiting for you - both of you! Please don't give up. You can return to the happiness you once enjoyed and improve your relationship beyond your expectations and desires.

You also need to love yourself again. A few pounds? Psh! You are not your weight! So what. Loving yourself isn't how you look, it's your soul, your character and the choices you make. If you remember to love yourself, you'll be motivated to love your body again and start taking better care of yourself to be fit and healthy again. Doesn't sound like you really have far to go!

You didn't mention any faith but the best way to love yourself is to know the One who made you and loves you more than anyone ever can. I'll be praying for you to know Him and to believe all that He tells you!

Blessings to you and prayers that you will regain yourself - it's the first step in your man being attracted to you again. Don't be fooled - he needs you as much as you need him! Be the confident woman you were created to be and love others. Your life is a gift to you and your family. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get to the business of living.

Loving you! C. G.

It sounds like you need something for you. You can't be happy in any marriage if your not happy with yourself first. Try counseling with someone just yourself so that you can talk and get some issues out on the table and they can offer you some guidance. Look around until you find someone you like. Find some really good friends that you can get together with and hang out and talk to.
If you can work out some of these issues your dealing with yourself, then you can move forward with your husband.

G.,
YOu have got to get out of the house and walk. Exercise is one of the best ways to combat depression. It also has a side effect; you will lose weight. Getting exercise releases endorphins which give you a better state of being. Also you can get a good supply of vitamins and minerals. If your body is getting the proper nutrients it will be happy. I also need to take a good B complex. I call this my B HAPPY vitamins. I wish you luck. And do keep in mind all the rest of the comments. They are good.

First of all, good for you for reaching out for help. I can tell you that when I was having troubles similar to yours, the best thing I ever did was talk about it. I tried counseling, but I think it has to be with the right person, because that didn't work for me. A few things that helped me was I actually worked on making myself happier first, then I thought I'd worry about the relationship with my spouse later. I checked-out some self-help books, and my favorite is "the Greatest Salesman in the World" by Og Mandino. I believe that some of the principles, like greeting each day with love in my heart, can apply to life, not just salesmanship. I also joined an exercise group, with both kids in the stroller called "Stroller Strides". Everyone went at their own pace and I think more than exercise, I found a support group of other moms, and had someone to talk to on a regular basis. Once a few of these things started to take place, I started thinking about what it was that I was really missing - and found that it wasn't my husband, it was myself. I had turned myself in to a milk machine/maid and I felt like I wasn't worth much more than that. However, once I rediscovered what I was passionate about, and started incorporating that in my daily life - I was able to come out of my sad, dark place. It was amazing how it happened, once I liked myself more, I found myself loving my husband again, and wanting to do things for him again. This helped him love me more again, and I think we are stronger today because of it. I'm not saying this is the answer for everyone, but this is how I made it through my tough time. It's only been two years since my lowest moment, but I feel like I am a better person than I ever was to begin with. If you don't take care of yourself, you can't take care of your children or husband. Take care of yourself! Keep me updated, I feel for you and want to know how things turn out.

Hi G.,
There are a couple of things I would try. One is check into being a private tutor for Spanish, put your name in with local schools or in the paper. You could then work some, on your own schedule, perhaps even an hour in the evening once or twice a week when your husband is home, this leaves him with your daughters to have time with them and to help him understand how much you are working during the day with the kids.

Start walking every day, find a safe place, park or sidewalks, near you that you can put the kids in a stroller and walk. You will be amazed at how much it helps your mind to get those endorphines working, it will help your depression and your weight, put in at least 1/2 hour a day, more if you can. Make this a scheduled part of your day, not something you come up with excuses not to do. You will also be teaching your kids about excercise and can talk about all the things you see while walking. Check into museums, great to walk in on hot days and great for the kids.

Keep only healthy foods, veggies and fruits in the house and not to many easy to eat carbs, this will help with not gaining more weight even if you are snacking during the day. Don't have sugar drinks in the house, saves money and calories not to have them around. Kids don't need juice they need the actual fruit with the fiber so don't have much juice in the house. Water, ice tea, milk....

Make a date night for you and your husband, either once a week or at least every other week. I went to a counselor years ago that said the biggest mistake people make after having kids is not making time for their relationship with their spouse. The kids grow up and you are mom and dad but not husband and wife anymore. Do simple inexpensive outings, walks in a park, picnic, a movie, dinner, local theatre groups that are free.... but with out the kids so you two continue to know each other. If he doesn't seem responsive then you take control and schedule something on an evening he gets home early, have the baby sitter set up, time for him to chill out a bit after getting home or meet him somewhere right after school. A lot of women wait for the man to provide the entertainment but it really is great if you can take charge so you can get your relationship back on track. Don't nag, find positive things to do and over time your dynamics together can change to positive also.

Walk, walk, walk!!!
Good luck,
SarahMM

Hi G.
A couple of thoughts, first thing...get off your duff and take your little ones and get some exercise. Nothing fancy or expensive...bike riding, walking, even jaunts to the park. Not for him so much as for yourself. It will help build some self esteem, help you lose some weight and you won't be sad and tired. Secondly, look at this whole picture and know this is only a phase. All this will pass and things will probably return to some form of normalcy sooner then you realize. In the meantime, buck up a bit and plan on giving 110%. Be creative and thoughtful of him in your plans. Can you meet him for lunch or a break during the day? If you and the girls are at the door (spiffied up..not in sweat pants and t-shirt) when he drags in, ready to hug and show appreciation for him and his long days you will begin to see a spark returning in him. Begin to make "suggestions" such as, I sure would enjoy doing something with you today, can we go play golf together, walk in the park, (not a movie)take the girls to the zoo. If you begin to be a refreshing sort of person your husband will WANT to be with you. If you are nagging and critical he'll find other people and places to busy himself with. You cared enough to look for some help so you care enough about your relationship to make it work. Now get your creative juices flowing to put some spark back in your love life.
God Bless You!!

1. Each time your hubby comes home, immediately drop whatever you're doing and run over and give him a big hug. Get there before your daughters do. Be happy to see him - smile.

This helps the most and takes the least amount of time

2. For 1 hour after he walks in the door, do NOT ask him to do any chores/errands/fix anything. Let him enjoy his family. Let him like coming home instead of dreading it.

3. Touch him more. This isn't about sex. It's about the way guys feel love. They react to touch. Touch him when you talk to him. run your fingers through his hair as you walk by him. Give him hugs and kisses.

4. Don't buy junk food. Don't keep it in your house.

5. It's Summer. Take your girls to the park and talk to the other moms who're there while the kids play.

6. Guys drool after girls of all sorts of shapes and sizes. The nagging makes you less attractive than the fat does. Don't let yourself believe that your hubby doesn't find you attractive. Acting more like you acted when you were first dating will go further than looking like you looked when you were first dating.

7. Guys night out. give him 5 hours of guy time friday night or saturday morning. It'll make things better. He'll be less stressed and more with you when he's with you.

8. Get a sitter. Have a date night - even if it's just a walk around the block. You need some time to remember that you're a wife, too....or a person....and not just a mom.

take a girl's night, too...if you need it.

This school thing is hard...and it'll keep being hard when he gets his first job and has to put in long hours to prove himself. It'll be OK. You can do this.

*hugs*

Go to the library and check out a copy of The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Women really do have all the power in the relationship and her book tells you how to treat your husband so that you can get more out of him...more loving and caring, more romance, help around the house, your Knight in Shining Armor. It all stems from the way we treat him, and she tells you how to do it successfully. It worked for me.

G.,

you sound like such a sweetheart, wanting to do the right thing, wanting to understand the dynamics going on in your relationship. you've received so much advice, i hestitate to add to it. are you overwhelmed?!

you know, when we don't get positive attention from the men we love, negative things result. i've put on weight, i've quit feeling good about myself, i quit taking care of myself, etc etc. next thing i know-i am nagging and kinda whining to the man i love because i want and i need some response from him towards me. the more i don't get it, the worse i feel, the worse i look. and that vicious cycle starts. ....and so, it's time to stop the cycle. yes yes- the cycle could stop if he'd spend time with you, if he'd pay more attention to you than golf and napping, but it sounds to me like that isn't going to happen right now. soooooo, it's time to stop the cycle yourself.

KNOW AND TRUST AND HAVE FAITH in yourself. pick out a few things you can do to start feeling better about yourself. any little thing that changes the routine, the cycle of despair in your home. this is not about blame---often the very last person who should be making the changes is the one that is in the best position to make the change. so, go for it. make a promise to yourself that for three solid weeks, you will find the positive in every situation in the day. be the comfort and the good cheer and the welcome that he wants to come home to. in the meantime, spend as much time as you can away from food at home. gosh, i knowwwww how that goes-it's my struggle, too. get active with your kids. explore new parts of your city by foot, by wagon, by bike...whatever is possible for you. read the paper and find something new to experience every week. doesn't have to be anything that costs money. maybe there is a new building going up in another part of town. go watch the construction. show your little ones how a building is built. maybe there is a field of horses you've not seen yet- go find it. get out of the house and explore. maybe when he is home, be positive and tell him that you are taking the girls on an "outing" so that he can rest up, relax and have time to himself. yes, i know you want that time to be yours with him...but consider that he also is spread thin and needs to recharge. maybe after some weeks of recharging at home without you and his daughters, he will come to miss you and enjoy the energy you bring back to your home.

don't give up on your self,

S.

Wow, you've stuck a chord here and have gotten some good advice. Not knowing you personally can make it difficult to offer what is pertinate to you. A couple people have recommended Dr Laura and if that fits your personality it might be helpful. If you are more of a free spirit or would like several perspectives - a good idea - draw from each what is good for you- Read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Grey and get a hold of some of Regina Thomashauer's (Mama Gena) books! You need to learn how to define and communicate your needs and how to bring some fun back into your relationahip. Get your juices flowing and he'll come along for the ride! The advice about finding your own interests is excellent, you have a balance to keep; self, children, family, spouse and relationship. Maybe you can't be employed but you could volunteer - that would give you the opportunity to meet some new people and keep your skills fresh. Could you take a class or two? Develop a new interest? Find some other moms you can swap child care with to give yourself some time for yourself and some time alone with your husband. Plan for romance, set the stage, tell him what you want. Arouse both your interest by creating a build up. Send him emails, leave notes in his pocket, text messages, a quick phone call - not, "don't forget to buy milk" and "you jerk you forgot to....", but "I can't wait to feel your arms around me and your lips and tongue in my..." or "I've been thinking about being alone with you all day. I want to feel your skin against mine, feel your hands, your lips" Get the picture? Remember this isn't just about getting him in the mood, most men just need to see a naked woman to get there, this is about getting YOU in the mood and bringing him with you, so when you are ready he's there. Golf is a great game, but I bet with the right inducement he's leave those clubs and balls in bag.
In the meantime, you start eating for pleasure and health - it's summer, get to the farmers market for all those good fruits and veggies. Get out and walk, stretch, move, get off your duff and quit feeling sorry for yourself. How others treat you is generally a reflection of how you treat yourself. Be as good to yourself as you want him to be. Indulge your sensual side, get some flowers on the table, light candles, make yourself up everyday, put a smile on your face - that's the best possible beautifier. Decide to be happy. He's working for your future, you need to do the same just in a different way. As a woman you are the reason, the center of your family and the creator of the mood and attitude in your home and life. OWN IT!

G.,

My heart goes out to you too. And you have received so much advice; I'm not sure I can be much more help. There is a website called www.troubledwith.com that has a lot of wonderful information and advice.

Most of all, don't give up. Love and respect your husband even if it does not feel like he is loving you back. It took my husband four years to get through seminary and that is all we did - got through it. It was tough. Pray. Take care of yourself and your kids and your husband. Give until it hurts and then keep giving. Don't nag. Instead, ask him what you can do for him? I know this sounds like the opposite of what you need, but there are times in all relationships when one must carry the other. You married him for the good times and the bad and you can make it through this. See if you can find a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group in your area. Check out their website. www.mops.org Or find a playgroup or ladies Bible study in your area for support. You are not alone!

Theresa

G.,
I would recommend reading the book, "Why Did I Marry You Anyway?" by Barbara Bartlein. She has some great, no B.S. advice for couples. I have personally read it at least 3 times during my 9 year marriage to my high school sweet heart. I learn something new, or remember things again every time I read it.

I know you have alot of great advice already, but you need to know we all support you and love you! :) Sweetheart, you have to focus on yourself and not depend on your man to make you happy. And we have to be happy and secure with ourselves to make them attracted to us - it's all about attitude. If we're feeling down on ourselves, then they will be down on us too. Not all men have the strength or fortitude to pick us up when were feeling down and they have a tendency to disconnect if they feel helpless to do anything or don't know what to do to help. So, start doing things for yourself to make YOU feel better. Start exercising, get a makeover, buy a sexy new outfit, get a babysitter and go out with a girlfriend for a girls night out. Don't do it for your husband, do it for yourself. If he's not able to make you feel better about yourself - YOU HAVE TO! Get your nails done, shave your legs, go tanning, do whatever you can to make you feel better about yourself. Also, if you want to lose weight, try the Atkins diet. The no-carbs thing really does work. I started this diet last Monday and already lost 7 lbs. But the bottom line is, you have to find your own happiness and you have to feel happy and secure within yourself - depending on another person to do these things for you will never work. You will end up being resentful and will push your husband further away. Trust me, I've learned this from experience. Good luck!

It is important to remember your own realm of control and what it contains. You cannot control your husband, or anything that he does. You can only control yourself and your decisions and reactions. First, accept that your husband may never change, but you always can. Work on yourself. Get some counseling/therapy for you first. Try to make your self confidence come back, this will make him more attracted to you. Make yourself happy and he will automatically be more happy and want to spend more time around you! Change the things you have control over instead of worrying about all the things that you don't!

I am sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. Do know they can get better. Before i give my response I better tell you that i am 4 foot 8 and wieght about 247 pounds. Now i understand depression, i am a manic depressant. i know for your sake and your childrens sake, you need to help your self. i have had alot of the same problems in my marraige. the only way we were able to keep us together was i got help, with my depression, and now with my wieght. i have lost about 30 pounds in a year, it has been the right way with a life style change. the other thing we did was, to take one night a week and just make it our date night. the kid goes to grandmas or a sitter and we just take and be with each other. it does not matter what you do, a simmple dinner and movie, or a warm bath a back rubs, what ever makes you two reconnect with each other. hope this helped a little, i thank god every day for my marriedge of 17 years.

G., HUGS. Are you feeling overwhelmed with your responses? That is what an SOS does in mom world. We don't know you but we love you and we are here to help. Some advice might work for you some might not but that is why we all share so that you can filter through and find what will help you out in this moment. First of all I want to say KUDOS! It is SO hard to ask for help! Sure potty training issues or how to clean the carpet those are easy to ask for but to ask for help with something that is seriously troubling us and deeply personal in our lives, that takes true courage. So even though it probably feels like you came here out of desperation there are so many many women who would never reach out in that moment to admit to a less than perfect life and the heartache that you are going through. as you can see...you aren't alone. We've most of us been through or going through what you are feeling or can appreciate it. Personally I've felt the feelings you are describing. My dh was getting his love from a sex addiction, he didn't need me. I don't know if that is in your story or if your dh is just tired--regardless you are emotionally unconnected right now. I have to agree the first defense for you right now is to take care of you. If you are not happy with who you are...who G. is. then mom, wife the rest of it will never feel fulfilling. I'm not saying leave your family and go find yourself, for me C. is a mother and a wife, and those are parts of what make me who I am but I have been going through a serious life search in the past couple of years to find a happiness in me. Yeah, I'm fat right now. But unlike two years ago I am not depressed by that fact it is just one symptom of the sadness and ill health I have had for the past several years. I also put on a lot of my weight because it was a "punishment" for my dh and a defense mechanism for me--if I am big no wonder he isn't attracted to me--mentality instead of addressing what was going on in our relationship I was creating responsibility for what wasn't working instead of doing the work I needed to for things to work. I had a choice to make. Walk away, at the time there were no kids. Or try to work it out. I heard somewhere that you don't leave until you have fought your way out of a marriage. Meaning until you have done everything in your power so that if you do have to walk you can look back and KNOW that you did all you could to save it first. So I then went to counseling for me with that in mind. Counseling isn't for everyone, sure but I needed someone to tell me when I was having "crazy talk" and when I was able to separate emotion and move forward rationally. I had to make a plan. Most days in the beginning it was how to survive today. I would make lists of things I was going to do that were positive and helpful to me and to my dh. (he is my"D"H again, not just an H) I turned it into a project. not romantic but one thing that we forget is that marriage and relationships take a lot of time and work. when we are all giddy and first in love it doesn't feel like work, it is just fun. but then kids and jobs and school come along and it is work to get a babysitter and to figure out what we can afford to eat out and where to go and to get dressed up is often a chore instead of that excited ooooh I want to look so good for him! feeling. I sat down and made a list of all the things my dh and I did when we were courting. where we went, what I wore, the time I put into him, care packages, letters etc. and I realized my counselor was right, I had worked for this man. We got married and we both forgot that part of it. So I started "working" again. I didn't feel like it at first. But I put in the effort, for myself and for him. I also made a list of things I used to do that made me happy and I started to make time for some of those things. along the way we had a miscarriage and then my daughter as I was working to find who I am. I don't know that I will ever have the whole of the answer to that question, it changes each year and time gives new opportunities for growth...and heartache. and new beginnings. For me one of the things that really helped was Rhonda Britten's books. She has a website called fearless living. I found a free group that read her book Do I look Fat in This? that focuses on body image because that was a real hurdle for me. I had put on 70 pounds. I felt like I was just disgusting. I went through that book with a wonderful group of ladies and I learned to love me again, no matter what my weight. I lost 30 pounds a year later. another miscarriage and some health issues have put me back up again BUT this time, I know I can lose it, I know that my weight doesn't define me, it is just an aspect of my life that I am dealing with right now. I just want you to feel hope, to know that this moment in time will pass and that you can grow and thrive through what you are going through. It isn't all darkness even though it feels that way. You start out lighting a match and then finding a candle which leads you to a switch which can illuminate your life with love and joy and beauty again. I opened up here because you opened up, this is not normal for me to put out for the masses to read or see but G., the place you are in can be a beautiful place to begin. There are friendships here that will help you, you have done the hardest part, putting out an SOS and admitting where you are and what you are feeling. The rest can now become your story, your beautiful story of becoming G. again. To your JourneY! and mine, and all the other beautiful women out here.

Hi, G.,

Yes, children change a marriage - good or bad. From what you wrote, it sounds like you are needing something that fulfills YOU. Your husband has an MBA to work towards, so he is finding outside time for himself. As a mother, it is so easy to get caught up being a good mom, and forgetting about finding a way to re-energize yourself. It's not selfish to want to find something that gives you energy - you just have to figure out what that is, and try to make time for it. It's hard finding that balance between family and what you enjoy, but in the long run, it makes you a better mother, wife and person. I think you should attend counseling even if your husband does not want to right now. He may surprise you and come around. You can't control what other people do, but you can control your own actions.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Mothering is such a hard job, so I know where you are coming from!

Chrissy

Firstly, you have a lot going on: your in a new country, you have two new kids, you have a new husband. Of course you're overwhelmed and feeling under appreciated.

You've gotten lots of good advice. I'll just add a couple simple things:
Just like you can't change your husband (much as you like to) he can't change you. Don't look to him to offer encouragement or motivation to do the things that you need to do for yourself. He will come around to support you when you believe in yourself and start loving yourself. Think of it this way. Do you want to buy a house where the agent describes it as 'run down, needs work, outdated'? Or do you want the one that is advertised as 'shiny, new, updated and beautiful'. Think of yourself as the beautiful house, tell yourself you are wonderful, beautiful and worthy.

The best, immediate thing you can do is to get moving. Walk, go outside, do physical things you enjoy be it hiking, biking, running, playing in the play ground, whatever it is, do it. And remember, the changes you want to make come from inside yourself. Find a reason why you need to take a walk with the girls: to the park, to a friends house, through the mall. Tell yourself that you need to set a good example for your girls and take care of yourself by going for walks and staying active.

I've been married over 18 years...it can be done :-) The biggest thing I've learned is that I am responsible for myself.

So sorry tp hear about your troubled times! It does not sound too far gone though. I had a similar situation with my husband. He was playing games online or pool and not spending any time with me or our son. I felt alone, not wanted, not loved, and I felt I had the problem because I was feeling these things. HE was feeling them too, but never said anything so it made ME sound like I was the only one with issues. He would not pitch in or see us very much so I would get angry and be a bit*h to him, in turn he didnt like that so he would be a jerk to me. This just kept going on. When we finally sat down and said "ok lets have a clean slate, we need to just start over" So we talked about what I felt i needed from him, and he said what he needed from me. And the next morning when we woke up we started on our new slate of trying harder being nicer etc. It has worked wonders.It sounds like you guys need to get a sitter for a few hours and do the same thing. Sit down and hash everyting out. There may be crying and hurt feelings but in the end make a pact to start fresh and fix things. Maybe he wont listen to you, and a counselor is the best way to do it. Make an appointment, get a sitter and tell him "we have an appointment tonight". Tell him its about you two getting back to having great lives togthere instead of shuffling through like you are doing right now.
Good luck!

G.,
6-7 years of marriage are the tough years. My husband and I just went through that. I felt unappreciated because I do everything and all he does is work. Well, what I have done is praise him for all of the work he is doing. If he does do something to help out around the house or even with your kids always thank him for being so helpful. Men always need verbal praise, and I know we can fall into the trap of well I don't get praise so why should he, etc. Once he starts feeling appreciated and needed again, he'll start doing more. You also need to get out of the house and do a girlfriend thing or just getaway to a movie or coffee by yourself. Have him babysit the kiddos and you go out. He gets golf, you get....Another thing is to go out on dates. Pick a day once a week, once every two weeks, or once a month and the two of you go on a date. Tell him that you want to go on a date with him, pick a date that works for the both of you, he plans the date, you get the babysitter. Keep trying, things will work out.

Hey G.,

Marriages go through ups and downs- When our kids were younger my husband traveled - overseas alot for his job. I hated it because we were never together and when we were it seemed like all that time apart created some distance. So later we noticed it and decided it was time to make some changes and we did. We've been married for 16 years - do we have a perfect marriage? - no way - who does? But we communicate and he truely is my soul mate, best friend and I am blessed to have him in my life.

I now work from home and that has given me something for me - it has been great for my own self esteme and it's also great for my kids to see me accomplishing goals too and still being a Mom. Cause I always feel I am a mom first- but I don't have to lose myself in the process.

Hope that makes sense- Losing weight take a commitment and you have to decide you want to lose it. I started exercising about a month ago - best thing I have ever done - it helped with my over all attitude on everythinmg.

Perhaps it isn't easy for your husband to be away so much either. You know they miss out on alot when they travel for work or work long hours. But sometimes we do what we have to do..

I hope that helps a little...
C.
www.AHomeCareer.com

Dear G.,

You say your husband is a full time student, who brings home the paycheck if you are a SAHM? It sounds like you need to get involved with some outside activities with your girls, like play groups, and put more emphasis on the well being of your children and your marriage. One suggestion is to get the book called "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It also comes as a DVD if you would rather listen to the information. It is very good and can help put some of the things you are worrying about back into perspective. Attitude is half the battle, if you change yours, by looking at all the good things in your life, your husband, children, and your home, then your husband's attitude will change also. It sounds like you have been blessed with many beautiful people in your life, make that count. Remember, your life has meaning when you give with all your heart to the ones you love. The love will return 10 fold.

Try reading that book. Then take another look at yourself and dig deep. You have the strength inside of you, use it.

G., I'm sorry it's this difficult. You have a lot of issues here and are trying to balance all of them. First, on the weight gain and how depressing that is, you need to lose weight so you feel better both physically and emotionally.

I'm not a medical practitioner, but I think you should go back on the antidepressants. Remember it takes about three weeks for them to really be effective. That should help you. If not, please talk to your doctor about it because perhaps a different prescription would be more effective for you.

As for counseling, your depression alone is a reason to go to counseling. If your husband will not go with you for marriage counseling, please go by yourself. Perhaps husband will consent to go for joint counseling later, but he's right about you needing individual counseling at this time.

There are some other things I could say, but not in a public forum. If you'd like to send me a personal message, I'd be happy to expound further.

Good luck and please remember to take care of yourself for the good of your daughters as well as yourself. I know you love them. They need a mom who can live free of depression.

Dear G.

I feel for you and I wish I could give you a big hug to re-assure you.

First thing is to know that your situation can be remedied and that YOU can do it!

The first things is to understand where both of you are coming from:

Right now, you and your husband are working away at two separate goals. You're laying the foundations for a great family by staying home and nurturing the kids. Raising kids is hard work. Even more so when you're doing it in a foreign country with few of the comforts of your native home (e.g. family and friends).

Meanwhile, he is doing an MBA to lay the foundations for a more secure financial future for the family. Earning an MBA is hard work too - there's loads of course work to do, and then there's networking, and planning for a new job (letters to write, interviews to go to and potential-bosses to impress) etc...(I know, I did one and many of my married classmates had family problems too when they were doing the course).

BUT WHAT you MUST REMEMBER is that both of you are doing this for the greater good of the family. While your paths diverge now, they're both intended to head back together in the future (and the future is at most a couple of years away). You just have to be strong during this period while you're both working at these separate but mutually-beneficial goals.

What you can do is to try to work at releiveing some of your stresses by turning to others/outwards of the family :-
(i) most MBA schools have a informal club/association for the spouses of MBA candidates. Join it. You'll meet other spouses who are also wishing they had a bigger slice of their man's time. These new acquaintances can be a great suport system
(ii) if your budget permits it, get some help with the kids - a morning at day school or a nanny can give you precious time to go out and do things for you (whether its for a hair cut, shopping, going to the gym, getting the groceries at a lesisurely pace rather than a rush, getting a manicure of just going to the library and catching up on some intellectual stimulation)
(iii) if it'll make you feel better, read up on nutrition and exercise and then create a plan to cook better meals and perhaps lose some weight. This goal will give you a new focus that can keep your mind off the fact that you may be putting on weight.
(iv) since you are in a foreign country - get out and go see things - the museums, the sights, even simple things like walking along residential areas or the malls will make you see new things. All this can then be used as fodder for conversations with your husband when he's back from school. He'd love to hear what you and the kids have seen and done.

Its natural that you feel that you're growing apart in the situation that you described but if you work at improving your situation on your own (easy to say, tough to implement but do-able), you'll (i) come up stronger, (ii) your family will be intact and (iii) you and your family will in all likelihood enjoy the benefits of a breadwinner who has beter qualifications.

While it would be great if you could get some TLC (tender loving care) from him, it may be tough for him to give it since he's probably thinking he needs some TLC too. Its natural in such a situation to call attention to the fact that you are not getting your share of the TLC by issuing the "ultimatum" of leaving. Please refrain from saying that you would like to leave him - he's going to school to create a better future for you too, that's how he shows is love for his family.Saying you're leaving only plants negative thoughts that can sometimes sprout into a life of their own and we bth know that you rahter have an intact family.

If you can't get any help with the kids and the housework really is overwhelming, try writing out a list of things that your hubby can help you with. Be reasonable and realistic about what needs to be done and what your hbbyis capable of doing. Find a time when both of you are calm and then ask him which of that list he can help out with and then leave him to do it without nagging/prompting or criticising the result.

I hope some of the above helps. Again, I really feel for you but know that you are strong, that you are beautiful and that you have it in you to save the situation!

You can ride out this rough period!!!

Take care
J.

P.S. I'm open to being in direct contact if it'll make you feel better.

A little about me - I'm a SAHM with a soon-to-turn-one son who has just been diagnosed with cancer. It's hard work being a SAHM with a kid who has special needs. Hubby goes to work and I have to bite my tongue not to nag him to help out at home!!! :)

G.!!

Sweetheart, you are clinically depressed. Nothing is going to get better until you address this issue. Go to a therapist, tell them the truth about how you feel, begin the process of healing yourself and your family. This is not your husbands problem, and may have happened even if he was the most supportive person on earth. When you have fixed you, then you can work on the relationship. I have walked this road. It is hard, but the result over the long term are worth it. if you cannot do it for your self, do it for your family...
To get some support, check out NAMI.
Good luck on your journey and God bless!!

E.

Read the book "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura...read it with an open mind and don't feel like you're being attacked. If you really read it and really try to do and understand what she says you will see a change in both yourself and your husband. It worked great for us when I found myself in the same situation as you.

I just want to agree with the earlier comment of Dr. Laura's "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." Great book , and great advice. As you read it, it may seem counterintuitive that focusing more on him will make you happier, but I can attest that it is true. Try Dr. Laura's recommendations for a few months and see how things work out. You will be very surprised. I also agree with the comment that you need to find an outlet, a hobby, or something that you enjoy as a release for your pent-up emotions, etc. It makes all the difference to be able to get out and do something you enjoy occasionally. It doesn't need to be daily, or even weekly. I get away from my five kids for an hour every 2 weeks (just by myself), and it makes a big difference. Best of luck.

first, pray. God loves both of you and wants you to have a happy marriage. second, have you tried you and him going on a getaway: camping, sea world, disney land, bahamas?

My heart goes out to you. You must be feeling very lonely. However, you need to ask yourself if your home is a pleasant place to come home to. How would you like it if every time you came home you were being nagged or complained to? Would you be in the mood for sex if you felt unappreciated? Why don't you try just welcoming your husband with open arms. Be the kind of person that is fun to be with. Try being his girlfriend again. Have a regular date night. You don't need to spend money, just time together. No complaining or nagging. Just be the girl he fell in love with. See what happens.
Also, I think you need a time out from your kids. If you can't afford a sitter, is there someone that you can trade with?

In addition to the great advice you've already gotten, I would echo the idea that you control you - not him. But that doesn't mean you can't inspire good things in him. As you've already seen, the nagging thing doesn't work. It's amazing how many of us continue to do things that just don't work in our lives - expecting a different result. I would suggest "Relationship Rescue" by Dr. Phil. He concentrates on what specifically you can do to enhance your relationship. He has a workbook, too. Hang in there. All marriages get hard at times. Don't give up until you've tried absolutely everything, swallowed your pride & worked harder than you've ever worked before to turn things around. If you divorce, someday you'll have to look at your kids and explain why their world was turned upside down - you want to be able to do that with a clear conscience - knowing you exhausted every option. You have some great advice hear - try everything you can. In the end, it will be worth the work. Studies have been done with people in what they self-describe as unhappy marriages. The majority of these people who divorce, 5 years later are just as unhappy. On the other hand, 85% of those who work on their marriage and stay together describe their relationship as very happy. Just some food for thought. Good luck & don't lose hope. There are a lot of people out there that have been through this - and that would be more than happy to be a support to you. You're not alone.

This is a tough situation. I feel for you because I know when my husband was in grad school we saw little of him and had some similar problems. What worked for me, and what I would suggest for you, is finding things that you can do for you and concentrate on feeling better for yourself, by yourself. Pursue something that has always interested you by yourself. This gives you time alone and also gives him time with the kids. I went to a yoga class and joined a book club. they were always at the same time so he didn't schedule anything else those times and it was nice for me to get out of the house and just be me and ultimately that helped everyone. Good luck.

i can relate to a lot of what you said. i think this is a fairly usual rut that couples get into after 5-7 years together. it stinks, though. it doesn't necessarily mean that you are not in love anymore. it's probably that you aren't spending the necessary time together to strengthen your relationship. i know how frustrating it can be to get a husband to fill your needs and spend much needed time with you and your kids. some husbands get a clue about this quickly, others make small improvements over many years. since you can't very well control your husband's behavior or growth rate, you need to just focus on your own. what i did was to find a really good counselor who helped me figure out how to take care of my own needs and put things into a healthier, less dependent perspective. sure, my husband complained about me seeing the counselor because it cost money and it meant that for an hour every week or two, he had to get up in the morning and be responsible for the kids. and there were times when i was nervous to leave them with him because i wasn't sure he'd do anything but sleep on the couch or sit at the computer, unaware of everything they were getting into, not to mention their food and diaper needs. but i had to do it to strengthen myself. every time he complained about me seeing the counselor, i reminded him of something she had helped me with. i made a lot of good changes as a result of meeting with her and i feel stronger. i know my limits better and i know more options of getting the help i need when my husband isn't carrying the loads i feel need lifted. just one example, i told my husband which household jobs i regularly needed help with, including caring for the kids when i need a nap. i gave him the choice to either do it himself or i would pay someone else to do it. he actually chose to work more overtime so i could pay a teenager to come help me. it's not the choice i preferred at the time, but i got my needs met. i see that you are in provo too, so please try Cheryl Cozzens as a counselor: ###-###-####. good luck!

Dear G.;
I have been married for 31 years. Go to counceling without him, because little does he know, but he will be ask to attend after time also. Married counceling takes two. You need a sounding board to vent and to receive advice on how to respond to him. Make him watch the children while you go for a walk at least 30 minutes a day. It will help with the stress, weight, eating issuses and on and on. Pray while you are walking that will help greatly. Find a christian counselor if possible they will give the best advice, I am talking from experience. My husband and I have had to go to counceling a couple times to save our marriage. Also start dating again, mmost of the times with young children you both are so busy that you forget to see each other. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you both. I will pray for your marriage and life together.

this is tough. We just had our 8 year anniversary and mine are 2 and 4..so about the same place in the marriage and young kids. this was the first year in a long time that things were good. We are no longer with the "babies," I'm not so tired, I hae time to go do my own thing (I'm and artist), and he is finally willing to watch them some on his own and make bonds. So maybe this wil work itself out with time. One thing I did was change my thinking. I stopped really worrying about him and just went and did my thing with the kids (I am a 90% parent). Eventually he wanted to join in. It was a bit like room mates. I worked on myself too. I read books like the Eckhart Tolle and others from the Oprah soul series. I liked Wayne dyer's Change your thinking and change your life. My husband started picking these up and reading too which was totaly awesome. But what is helping me in general is to try to change all of my negatives to positives. Instead of i hate this cleaning...say: I am so looking forward to a clean house; let's see how fast I can do this. It is actually pretty hard but fun...a game. You know what the best thing is...I noticed the other night that I wasn't moaning about my husband not helping out when I had a night out with the girls anymore. what a drag I was gripping and unloading. Stopping conplainging in my head is changing how I am relating to others. good luck and maybe red a few good books and leve them lying around...maybe he'll pick it up and work on himself. Oh, a good one I have now is the Five Love Languages of Children by Chapman. Good stuff you can use for spouses too.

I am in a little bit of the same situation. I love my husband to death but i feel like i am just another thing on his to do list after work, school and GOLF. When he is home i feel like he should spend more time with me and our little boy but he is so tired that he just wants to sleep in and take naps and leave me to do whatever needs done. I Know he works hard and am thankful that i can stay home but i feel like i need some more attention. I did read the book the proper care and feeding of husbands and it helped but i still feel like i shouldn't have to beg for any type of attention or affection. E mail me at ____@____.com if you ever need someone to talk to hope it helps to know you are not the only one with this problem. good luck

G.,
I would love for you and your husband to join our next workshop: MARRIAGE CONNECTION
This is sponsored by Loving Connections LLC and Illumi-Nation.
The dates are August 1-2, August 22-23 and September 13.
If you are interested visit www.lovcol.com
To register or get farther informations call me at ###-###-####.

With my whole heart,
C.

What is loving connection?
Caring enough to share your whole heart.