Am I the Worst Person and Mother Ever?

I would actually be glad that that she is in my group so that I can observe and get some info on if there is still a problem or not. If she is being mean to my daughter I would call her out and tell her that it is against the classroom rules or whatever you think is acceptable and tell her that bullying is not permittted and that you will tell the teacher if it happens again. I personally would also ask her what her problem is.

Just this year i feel like i am learning that it is ok to be FIRM when a Child taht is not my own is being nasty. You don't need to call names or scream ,but a very Firm " THat is ENought" or "WE do not speak like that to other people" is really ok.

I've always held back because i don't want other adults to think i'm an ogre, but especially wiht kids that have a history of being mean, they just don't get it. YOu have to be BLUNT and FIrm. Usually they just look at you and stop and it's over. if for some reason she should cry you just say, I"m sorry I had to use that tone with you but Calling Suzie Fat is not acceptable, can you promise not to do that again? ok then i'll forgive you.

I'd be glad to have Sally along so I could see first hand how she acts. You don't say how old the kids are but a well placed harsh glance can go a long way I think with little kids from an adult other than their parent. Or a "what did you just say Sally?" in a very firm voice if she says something obnoxious. Of course be nice if she is. Hopefully everything will be fine and it's a nonissue but while I certainly wouldn't make a scene or anything if she's not nice, I'd be glad to be there to hopefully be able to put her in her place!

Call it out. No need for a "talk". If she says something unkind or inappropriate, just tell her it's not Ok to talk like that to others. She knows. You are not telling her anything new. By bringing it out in the open you validate the other girls feelings, too, including your daughter's. Be brief, be matter of fact, then move on and have fun on your field trip.

how would you handle your daughter if she was mean to another girl? treat sally the same way you treat your daughter....and of course be the bigger person and show sally some love. you don't know what her home life is like...maybe you might be that bridge for her!!!

You don't try to switch kids (Can you say "micro-manage"? lol)
You provide adult supervision which is why you're going to be there anyway.

IF she is mean (and you sound like YOU are expecting it--your daughter clearly isn't) then, by all means, remind "Sally" to use her classroom manners and rules. If it continues, keep reminding her to be respectful.

She doesn't "have" to be your daughter's pal but she does have to be respectful. Every child there--mom present or not, has just as much right to be on the field trip!

This is what you do. VENT HERE and then let it go and please do not request to switch kids. There will always be children like this. The best way is to teach our children how to deal with children like Sally. Obviously your child has great coping skills as she is over it already.

BTW, I get you. My 7 yo came home one day teary eyed and this mama bear was gloves in hand and ready to fight. Shame on me but I actually told my daughter that she should have called her ugly (I know . I am burying my head in the sand in shame). My daughter schooled me that day. She said, "She is not! Besides you told me that if I can't say anything nice, I shouldn't say anything at all." I have never felt so shamed and proud at the same time.

You handle it the same way you would if Sally were mean to any other child. You tell her to stop, that what she's doing is inappropriate, and that you will report her to the teacher if she continues. You say it with authority. And you keep close to her the entire time so that she knows you have her number.

However, you treat her the same as the others outside of her wrongdoing. She is a child. Your daughter is 7, right? So you remember that 7 year olds need a lot of growing up and you accept that.

It's normal to be a mama bear about your child. But it's adult to give lots of room when you HAVE to, like at school functions.

I'm glad you get to go by the way. I'm sure you could use this "time off", so to speak.

Dawn

By all means, if she is mean to your daughter, call her out on it! Kids at that age are trying to test boundaries. If she knows that she can't mess with your kid (at least while you are around) she will behave. And your daughter will be better off.

I swear, I hate half of my daughter's classmates and children of my mommy group friends. I don't even like my wonderful sister's kids. I am nice to them, but I don't go out of my way to spend any amount of time with them. Yes, after having children I realize that I am not a "kid person". I do adore my own children though :-)

Don't feel guilty for not liking this girl. I'm sure you'll do fine. Your daughter will have a great day. Just keep one eye on this Sally girl at all times and don't be afraid to run interference. That is what you're there for.

If she acts up, you have every right to say something to her. I mean, don't give her a whole big sit down lecture, but say things like, "we don't call our friends names, we don't hit other people, we say nice things to each other, etc". I had this same situation with one of my daughters friends and I would just tell her straight out what I thought. She straightened right up. I told her she would not be hanging out with my daughter if she continued to act like she was. So go and try to have a good time and just lay down the rules before you get started..."girls, we are going to have a great time at the zoo! We are not going to call each other names, or touch each other, you will both be good listeners to me and stay together." Just my opinion...have fun! =)

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I don't think you're the worst mom (or person) ever. In fact, the other day somebody else on this site thought she was the worst mom ever, and she didn't qualify, either.

Keep your negative feelings about this little girl to yourself. It's a field trip *and* the end of the school year, and both of those facts are to your advantage, so be gracious to the little girl and encourage your daughter to be friendly to her (it sounds as if she's ready to be).

I imagine everything will go pretty well. But if it doesn't, handle it as you would handle any other child who misbehaves on a school trip. Let her know that her behavior is out of line, and if she won't listen to you, take her to the teacher to deal with.

Best not to have any preconceived notions-she may surprise you-it sounds to me like a lot of what she says and does is posturing because she feels inferior in some way. Try to have fun!

Don't worry about something that may not happen. If there is an issue,
I am sure you will know how to handle it. If you do not, before you do anything, consult with a teacher. I am willing to bet it will be a great day.
Enjoy.

Just keep it light and say something like, "hey, now, we are all here to have fun. Let's all get along!" and move on.

The teacher may have put the girls together hoping that it would help their friendship.

On field trips, it always seems that I'm assigned the "high spirited" kids. At first, I'm bummed but I guess the teachers know that I can keep them in check. From what I've noticed (3 different schools in 3 different continents) that I'm the self- proclaimed mean mom. I'm okay with that, I know my group will not get lost or cause the bus driver to have an accident.

i don't know how old these girls are, but in general, kids, and especially girls, can be worst enemies one day, then bff's the next. they say things like "i hate you!" and not only do they not get what they're saying, they forget they said it an hour later. i understand it bugging you. i would keep an eagle eye on her and be very "present" so that she knows she's being supervised.

i had this problem with a neighbor girl who liked to boss and bully my (younger) son around. i said something to her about how that's not how we play with friends, and if it continued my son would have to come inside. i made sure she knew that i meant business - then stayed visible when they were playing together. she would look furtively towards me as if checking to make sure i was still there...then eventually she lost the attitude (i believe her home life was not great and it was less to do with me, and more to do with things settling down for her, but regardless, i wasn't going to let her take it out on my son). she was 7 and he was 5 at the time.

you are an adult, and this is a child. be friendly, fun, and keep it light, but if she acts out, don't be afraid to be firm and in charge. you need to be anyway. you're not going as a playmate for them. you're going to help supervise.

you vent and then remember that your the adult. if she is a pain tell her to knock it off. and I disagree with the other poster who said don't switch kids. if the kid is a pain then switch with someone.

I would feel the same way about Sally. Once you burn my kid you are forever on my sh*t list. If I were in your situation and a friend like that started on one of my sons I would use that opportunity to make sure the kid never did that again. Would I scare the child? Yeah, maybe a little. Enough to realize the error of his ways.

You stand up for your daughter, that's what you do. You praise her and support her when things turn out perfect for her...why can't you do the same when things aren't as peachy keen? I think you will do you, your daughter and even Sally a disservice by allowing Sally to mistreat your daughter in front of you...if it happens.

I think you just allowed this little girl to dictate how low your level of enjoyment will be. Don't.