I am a SAHM and have a 20 months old that doesn't play more than 5 minutes alone. She always wants me to be with her. I try to do activities with her, like play with playdooh, draw, sing, dance, dressup...etc, etc....but sometimes I just need time for myself. Am I the only one who has this problem? Is there a way she could concentrate more time on a single activity? Sometimes I feel bad when I just want (need) to do my stuff and let her play by her own, because normally she comes whinning to me because she is borred. Or maybe my question is; is it normal for my baby not to start an activity by her own at this age. Please help!
Thank you so much for all the responses. I have always tried to include her in my activities, not just because that’s the only way it will be done, but also because I love it! It is so nice to see your little one help you and see her doing the same things and gestures you do. My problem was actually that sometimes I feel like she is to attached to me. I have been doing the "I stop whatever I'm doing and give her my full attention for 2-5 minutes" method! (Thanks, Kristine) and it works great. She still gets a little frustrated when I start something with her and leave her doing it by her own, even if I am 3 steps away...but I read in a parenting magazine that this is totally normal and that starting their 2nd year they are beginning to realize they are separated individuals, so...now I feel relieved! Hope this will help other moms as well with kids under 24 months and the same problem!
When my boys were younger, they always found plenty of mischief to do on their own! I have fond memories of my oldest "helping" me while I did the dishes by coloring butterflies at the dining room table. Just get her started on something to do where you can keep an eye on her and ask her to surprise you. I am glad you are not responding by plunking your daughter in front of the tv set.
I dont know if its normal or not, but i do know that my son is almost 19 months and has the same issue.... he plays by himself for a short while but then starts tugging at my legs or arms to go play. i work during the day and he goes to daycare so i always figured that he just wanted our attention after a long day of having to share his teachers attention with other children. i have no solution, i normaly give in or tell him to tell his dad to go play with him. I think he needs a sibbling, but we cant afford to have another one right now. in your case, you may need to find a play group or something so he can interact with other kids his age.
Sounds pretty normal to me. I have a 26 month old and I can tell you it does get better. The easiest way I've found to get stuff done is to include her. If I have to do laundry, she hands me the clothes and I put them in the washer or I hand her wet clothes to put in the dryer. She has a little vacuum and will "help" me when I am vacuuming. You can be creatie. Now, obviously, there are things she can't help me with, like when I have to sit down and pay bills! But, I do the stuff that really needs my attention during naptime (and that includes phone calls since being on the phone is like a mommy magnet) or I will put something interesting on tv for her. She LOVES Max and Ruby and that is usually the only way I can get dinner cooked. She plays a lot on her own now, but she often checks in with me throughout the day. What also really helps is when she is looking for my attention, I stop whatever I'm doing and give her my full attention for 2-5 minutes. Sometimes sitting her in my lap and talking to her for 2 minutes is enough and she hops down and does her own thing again. I've learned that the times I give her half my attention or brush her off, she becomes more whiny or does something to act out. By reconnecting with her for a couple minutes, I think it reassures her and makes her more willing to do her own thing. I also try to get out of the house with her to do something at least once a day. Sometimes, it's just going to the grocery store. But, she likes to be out and about and it helps with the boredom she gets sometimes being stuck inside with boring mommy. ;)
You are most definitely not the only one who has ever had this problem and the great news is that it probably means that your child is not only normal, but also super bright and curious. My eldest who is now almost 19 was just like this. My solution when she was your daughter's age was an 11 year old neighbor. For just a few bucks a day, she was delighted to be my "mother's helper" and entertain my daughter while I got my stuff done.
Now let me tell you the best part. She is finishing her freshman year in college. She got all As and Bs, she is VP of the freshman class, she is as happy and well adjusted and smart as they come.
And I am smiling inside all the time, because there were (impatient, lazy) teachers when she was younger who wanted to label her ADD and told me to put her on ritalin, etc. etc.
YOU decide that your daughter is normal and healthy and BRIGHT and you CHOOSE to treat her that way and the world will have to follow!
: )
all the best!
S.
my daughter (27 mos.) is the same way! But since she started school a couple times a week she is doing better at playing alone! all though right now she is sitting in my lap playing with her dolls as I type! It does get better as she gets older, just try being/doing things in the same room together, ie: reading time she reads her books you read a quick magazine for some quite time. Or when you get her busy in an activity tell her you'll be right back keep playing. I use to sneak out of her room & sometimes I'd catch a quick 5 mins. or i'd get lucky and get 15min.! It's normal but you (or I did anyway) have to let go of the guilt of your child playing alone as well! Good luck, as mine is telling to "come on mommy"!
